cross fingers...pls give us coach soon...we really really need him...

had a game with my SAO during squash training...best of 5 sets...won her by 3 sets...wah haha...happy...but now my thigh hurts like siao...has been pretty sore since nafa test...wonder wat's wrong...

did something stupid juz now...why on earth do i always do silly thing despite knowing that i'll get affected or upset in the end...sigh...

anyway suckiness dissipated after i bathed =) no point getting upset...i smile even more after seeing the photos of my baby boy...guess bro must have uploaded them juz now...

huge celebration for auggy this coming sun...sorry i cant invite all of u to my house...but here's some photos of my angel for u...he is really really really cute....

o and congrats to min for being an aunt too...i hope to see baby issac soon!!!


sleepy head...


huh who are you??


stunned look...keke

been in front of the computer typing my fyp stuff...degree for my specs sure increase even more...

last min, coach cant make it for freshies' training and he only told me last min at 5pm -_- could have gone home at 2pm leh...anyway was stuck in the lib...think nowadys it's super easy to know where i am...either in squash courts or lib...weird combi...nerdy and sporty at the same time...wah haha...no choice le...need to look for journal articles...

i realise i havent been home for dinner for the whole of last week...not even on weekends...so finally i'm given the chance to have dinner at home...ate with my bro and sis-in-law...feel so good to chat with them...sigh...miss it...was chatting with my parents after dinner too...nice nice...o and i burped auggy too...this little fellow dunno why keep having hiccups...so have to sit him up and burp him...was burping him when he started to poo again...alot okie really alot!!! anyway i juz screamed that he pooed and my mom n sis came attending to him...wah haha...so good right...

fat little chubby angel...i'll get his latest photo uploaded soon...

sigh i think it's a month since i last ask for my book...sian...i'm not being petty...i wan it back cos it meant something to me...haha some memories that i had years ago...sigh if it's not meant to appear then forget it...lazy to keep asking for it...i give up....

i forgot where i see/heard this phrase...'talking is cheap'. Indeed it is....we can always use our mouth to say all the things that we wanna do or achieve...make all sort of promises to ppl around us...but at the end of the day when all things are only said and not done...they become empty and meaningless....sometimes i'm afraid i'll fall into that zone...how many of us can say for sure that we'll do what we've said or promised? If u can and have been doing it, good for u...if u realise u havent been able to fulfill wat u've delievered...i suggest that u think things thru before making promises for the next time...

fri pls come quick...i cant wait to go shopping with ck...haha for fabric paint...

bounce bounce...

yeah~~ i got gold for nafa...first time ever if i didnt rem wrongly...haha...but i didnt get my badge..cos they actually run out of it...so duh...hai yah watever lah...not that it matters...cos i dun need it for ns anyway...haha...it merely shows that i'm fit lo...haha...but the bloody sit and reach is darn hard lah...cos my legs longer and my body darn short...stretch until i wanna cry arh....eek...

kinda half dead when i went for training...haha...was playing like mad with my vice cap...but towards the end both of us abit seh already...too much running...haha..fun...

happy happy~ received yd's letter...8 pages long...haha...initially i tot there's only 4 pages cos 4 pieces of papers mah but as i read i realise it doesnt sound right...turn to the back then i realise wow got somemore leh...haha...muack thanx handsome! reminds me of the past where we used to write 'love' letters...muah haha...and after all these years u still never change ur habit...=)

i love to receive letters and write them too...haha...dunno is it good or bad...but that's a way for me to communicate with ppl sometimes...used to have a pen pal from italy...sigh but kinda lost contact...and worst is i shifted to a new place...dun think can get in touch with him anymore...dunnoe exactly which part of italy he's at right now...been years already...

yippee...next week is break week! but guess most of the days i'll be in schl doing assignment...and training too...

woo...we're having auggy's one month old celebration this coming sun!!! exciting!!

driven myself to exhaustion...

down with headache and flu...

didnt go schl today...

great...

am feeling better now after all the rest i have today...

am gonna bounce on my feet again tomolo!

~phew~ finally i have the time to sit down and take a break...

reached home at 7am this morning...slept for 4 hours and then off i go for the autism talk at HPB...power eh...considering i played squash from 1-5pm... then rush to celebrate yilong's bday...rush to harry's and head to kbox for ktv session all the way till morning...

where on earth did i get the energy from...to juggle these things all at the same time?? beats me..i juz do...perhaps reaching my limit soon...but i dun feel it at the moment...

last nite was so fun! okie i'm really sorry for being uncontactable for the gals and being late for the drinking, cake cutting and singing session...was held up for awhile...hehe....

boy i'm glad i wasnt drunk last nite...cos i ate too much before heading down to harry's and if i were to drink alot...think i'll juz stand the chance of replacing the merlion which is not far away...haha...the singing was fun...i hope i hasnt tortured the gals with my vioce...

let's talk about yilong's bday...this little bro of ours...was so poor thing yesterday...cos there wasnt any badminton session and none of us were free to keep him company...we did that on purpose and he has no idea that his sis had arranged for a surprise dinner with us...haha...

in the end only choon yew acc him to swim...to stall time...report to us where bday boy is...while me, ck, sze and vic sneak to his house and hide in yd's room...haha...quite fun le...to surprise him and see his stunned face when we rushed out to wish him 'happy bday'

anyway we had steam boat for dinner...juz ate and talk non stop...such a glutton...cos really ate alot..haha...we even snacked on tibits after dinner...followed by two bday cakes which sis bought...wah...fat le...

called yd and talked to him via speaker...so fun!! all of us were like little kids all crowding around the phone trying to take turns to talk but in the end we all talked at the same time...yd was like blur and cant quite make out wat we're trying to say...and with him lagging over the phone...he's reply sounded alittle too slow...haha...

should hear us when we sang bday song with yd on the other end of the phoneline...he's like echoing our voice after every sentence cos of the lagging...haha...it's so funny

well...though he's far away in thailand...he is very much present in this bday celebration! can feel him thru the phone...and i'm really happy to talk to him...hehe...like i said...i miss ur bitchiness yd...muack muack!

okie i cannot take it liao...auggy drained my last ounce of energy...he's a glutton too...wont stop crying till i fed him and burped him...

taken with fen's new phone...argh..i so wanna get a camera phone too...

had a gals nite out watching 'charlie and the chocolate factory' with fen and min...

nice movie! as if reliving my childhood fantasy...love the part where the short little fellow start coming out to sing the songs...really hilarious! all the scenes make me wanna eat chocoalate! haha actually i already did...bought a bar of wonka chocolate with ck while we're at millenimum walk last week...havent finish yet...haha

woo johnny deep is so cute in the movie!! juz like when he was acting in 'edward scissors hands'!

enjoyed my gals' company today... min bought me and fen each a self help book...darn funny cos she let us choose the two books by random and it turned out that the books we chose are so relevant to our situaitions...haha...thanx gal...muack muack!

tomolo will be a busy day - training...dinner celebration for yilong's birthday...then rushing down to harry's to meet my squashies for another bday celebration and ktv session...cross fingers...i'm not gonna get drunk tomolo cos i very much wanna sing...then sunday noon i'll have to rush down HPB for autism talk! Yippeee....sure super lack of sleep...but who cares... keke

i think my body is alittle deformed...not only do i have slight scoliosis...i actually have slight winging in my right scapula -_- it never occur to me after all these years of studying anatomy...keep thinking the protrusion of scapula was due to my spine....became the display of my class that day during practical...felt kinda weird...btw we were either in swim suit or sports bra and shorts for that lesson....it's not the first time we're doing such pract so it's actually no big deal...weird part is not about me being looked at with juz the sports bra and shorts...weird part is being looked at for my deformity...haha...

actaully today i was pretty gloomed for the whole noon (ck u promise to gimme a big hug on sat for this!!!hehe)...but in the end am feeling quite happy...cos my boys and gals in squash actually did the physical training without complain...esp for boys...i seldom get this kinda response...happy enough that they do it...sigh..sigh...feel like a mother hen...bringing up her kids...haha...still i'm very happy to see them putting in effort...

it's friday....i always look forward to fri...cos it will mean i can take a step back and detach alittle from schl...sometimes i juz wanna detach from everything i do for awhile so that i can recharge and get back to it with a clearer mind...mb break week can go sentosa or ubin for a day...haha...if only i can go bangkok to bug yd...that'll be great!

my period is still not here...i wonder is it due to my weight....but i have no time to see doc...sigh...shall see...so much so for being a woman...sian sian sian....

my dad told me to give birth soon since i like playing with auggy so much...when i heard it i was stunned at the spot for like 1 min...haha...i am a baby myself...how to look after another one...

anyway auggy is getting more and more chubby!!! so fast...he'll be a month old soon!!! my baby boy is getting stronger each day...and naughtier with his cries getting louder too...and i dun know why he always like to wriggle so much when i carry him...such a handful when he's not even a month old yet...can imagine him be a cheeky fellow when he gets older...haha...juz love him so much...

did i mention...i found his windbreaker while i was clearing my wardrobe...how come it seemed like there's still unfinished business...-_-

anyway...couldnt sleep last nite...dunnoe why...plus the annoying mosquito that kept buzzing at my ear..damn irritating...kept giving me bites here and there...on my face somemore...damn it....wanted to freeze it to death by turning my air con to a lower temp but it didnt work...cos i think my air con something wrong...not cold enough even when i turn it to 18 degrees....

in the end i was so fedup that i smacked my ear real hard when i heard the buzzing mosquito...after which i was able to sleep peacefully thru the nite cos i'm no longer attacked by the blood sucker ...little did i know to my horror that the mosquito acutally died and landed nicely in my ear...as in not deep deep in lah...

was in schl canteen talking to my classmates...when one of them suddenly exclaimed ' jiahui, how come there's a dead mosquito in ur ear!!!'....i was like 'huh?' before i knew it...i saw the carcass of the mosquito with the help from my classmate who took it out of my ear for me...then i realised wat happened and begin explaining to them...think they were all quite amused by me and what i did...even i'm amused too...haha...very stupid right...we're like laughing our heads off...

so silly...23 yo already still can do such stupid stuff...but then...that's me...guess the silliness never quite left me somehow...haha...

woo hoo~~ went bladding in the evening with adrian...so fun!! sigh so pai seh...like a baby learning to walk like that...darn slow..managed to blade along the pavement below my block...was grabbing adrian's arm initially cos i'm so darn scared that i'll fall...thanx adrian...u're really patient with me..telling me how to move, blade and brake...and giving me little push here and there to make me go faster -_-

pretty fun to blade...though my left blade kept giving me problem..perhaps cos it's old...and i fell once...gracefully and gently due to uneven ground...haha

hehe my balancing aint that bad...though the speed can improve...am trying am trying...till the day i am confident enough...i'll blade while adrian jogs...then i can jio yilong to blade too...i bet he can blade so much better than me...this boy is a good in any sports...think he can consider being a PE teacher next time...

eew..i'm abit tempted to get new blades..cos the current one that i have aint really my size...we shall see...hehe

sigh...yd arh...i miss u le...soon it'll be a month that u're away from home...o my that's fast...havent hear ur voice for a month...havent hear u bitch or to bitch with u for a month...sigh sigh...i really miss that....i hope u're doing well over there..and rem to drop any msg if u need anything k...there is always DHL rem...haha....muack...take care handsome...do post some of ur recent photos online so that we know how u've been k...purple~~

abit nuts now...cos cant sleep...so i decide to clear my wardrobe instead...and my my...i actually spent 2 hours trying all my clothes....haha...quite fun le....cos i was mixing and matching different pieces...

tonnes of clothes gotten cleared by me...almost half of my wardrobe is empty now...haha all the more i have reasons to buy more new clothes to fill that portion up!! some of the clothes were kept from sec till now which i didnt bother to filter them out despite shifting from my old house 2 years back...o man fashion disaster...was laughing at myself when i tried those clothes...

another thing is...i threw all of my jeans away except for the current levis jeans that i have...cos they are all freaking ugly...some are up to waist leh...think i bought them years ago before hipster came out...u have no idea wat agony i had to go thru previously cos i simply cant find any jeans that will rest nicely on my hip...with a short upper body like mine...wearing anything that rest on the waist is a disaster...so off they go....

now...i only have one pair of jeans...power right...haha

then...i tried my jc uniform...haha to my surprise i can still fit in...so amazed that i took some pic with me in my uniform...ooo...miss jc days...miss ccs days....miss rehersals for drama nite...

anyway gotta sleep...


taa daa...if u never see the old version of nyjc uniform before...this is it...

was juz talking to yk...he said something interesting...rather lead a life full of mistakes than a heart full of regrets...which leads us to talk about my previous relationship and how it actually started...i was smiling when i'm thinking back...it started in a rather silly but sweet way... was it a mistake?? maybe...but if u ask me whether i regret having it...no...cos if it didnt happen, i'll still be wondering how things will be like...n perhaps dwell on it even longer...

it's true that at the end of the day i did get myself brusied and hurt...but the fact that i have been talking and joking about it with my frens...it has merely become a past...something for me to look back and go 'hmm...wat was i thinking...'

aint making sense isnt it...never mind..my brain not functioning right now anyway...tired...need to sleep...~~

dunno why...am having headache again....was having it when i was at starbucks waiting for ck ...then it went away after dinner at soup n spoon and during shopping...then it came back after tea at tcc...then it went away when i had a small piece of chocolate from ck on the bus...then it came back again till now....

wat's wrong man....have absolutely no idea le....

had a long day today...guess i'm tired perhaps...cos last nite slept quite late running thru the presentation points....

had my psycho dysfunction presentation today...went pretty okie...i'm really thankful for bonnie's help in my role play...thank you so much!! actually i didnt prepare any script...alot of impromptu stuff...so i actually have to think of wat to say on the spot! haha..quite fun lah...i enjoyed it....hehe....

am so happy to see my two friends happily attached...keke...i'm a good matchmaker after all...haha...

o yah...went bakerzinn for cream brulee again....bloody hell....so darn pissed off...i mean it's good to change menu once awhile...but u know wat...they've downsize the cream brulee to such a puny portion!!! small little cup!!! argh!!! damn it damn it....so angry...i want my big portion yummy cream brulee back!!! they make such small size desserts so that u can chose 3 varieties to make up a single dessert order....but who say i need that....i juz need one order of cream brulee!!! i bloody want my cream brulee back!!!

mm...i wonder if they have website so that i can complain...or make my request....arh...sob...so sian...where else can i find nice cream brulee...bakerzinn is my only favourite place for this dessert...yd was the one who intro me to it and i've gotten addicted ever since!!! sigh sigh....

clinical is from 10 oct to 2 dec...-__- bloody sian when i heard this news...it was not long ago that i'm done with my 6 weeks attachment...and here comes the 8 weeks one!! i think it's another round of stress + weight lost regime to go thru..arh...that means i need to ask for leave on 27 oct...if i didnt get my date wrongly...which reminds me...i havent gotten my gown yet!! and i need to get new shoes for clinical!!!

am having a headache now...perhaps i should go sleep first then get up to do work...

i'm on roller coster rides...damn period...it better come soon...it's such a hassel to go thru these emotional rides...juz simply becos my hormone is the culprit i cant even blame someone or something concreate for making me feel this miserable...arh i can only blame wat...my own body arh...

why am i a woman, when i cant quite keep track of my own menstrual cycle...and plus i'm done with my hormone pills...i seriously cant keep track at all...sian...

i'll go take a nap and get down to work...

auggy juz smiled a big nice smile at me and his mom...haha real cutey...and he's put on weight...getting more and more chubby each day!

fucking pissed off....i'm not a freaking physiotherapist!!!

not that i have anything against PT...problem is i'm not one!!!!

i'm OT...OT...OT.... i study OCCUPTAIONAL THERAPY!
damn it....it's frustrating when even ur family keeps mentioning u're doing physio...

i've done enough input to educate them...ARH!!!! i'm still a PT to them...

i juz saw a kite flew pass my window...cant help but smile...when was the last time i smile over little thing like this...(i wrote this portion in the evening...i know it's 7th month...aint trying to scare u ppl...)

mm...weather is good today...but am too lazy to go out...slept with auggy in the living..me on coach, him in cot...haha...lazy bums eh...little angel has been opening his eyes and looking at things around him...keke...cant help but kiss him on his forehead and chubby cheeks..hehe...

the degree conversion talk we had last nite...kinda give me a better idea wat to expect...guess i really need to get a driving license and work a year or two to save up the money that i need...it'll be fun to go with classmates...at least there's someone to turn to and have fun with...haha

jogged via serangoon park connector again...this time round alone cos adrian went to take fireworks pic...too lazy to join him...ran to and fro...a few km at least...now feeling all warm despite a bath...resting metabolism raised...haha good good...

i'm sorry if u guys are tired of me posting auggy's pic...but i cant help it...his dad and mom keeps taking photo of this angel too...haha...so we juz keep uploading photos lo...hehe


CUTE right!!!! btw that's my hand...haha i was stroking his elf-like ear...pointy pointy one...


dun you feel like holding him when u see this pic?

haha...roy is gonna be a father!! so much so for going googaa over him during my 22nd birthday!!!woo i miss seeing him play with the band...sigh sigh...

anyway why am i not asleep...cos i need to do work...plus i slept the whole of today....

auggy keeps poo~ing and pee~ing on me!! like wat bro said...he only knows how to eat, sleep and cry...o well that's wat babies do...till he gets bigger...he'll be quite a handful...
i cant stop myself from blogging about this little angel...cos he's really really cute!!! sat him up to burp him and he opened his eyes to look at me...sigh my heart juz melt each time he does that...

okie i gotta sleep...

why does my body still aches when i've been exercising so regularly...butt aching now...didnt squatt alot for the badminton arh...werid...

anyway i had fun playing with the guys...juz keep playing and playing...good work out hehe...had dinner at yd's house...played with hyperactive furball...so fun...luckily there is no little children around cos now whatever food that landed on the living room floor, dun ever think of eating it cos almost every inch of the floor has been covered with mocha's pee before...toilet training still in progress...
woo we had zi cha for dinner yesterday and it was delievered to the house...cool right...but then auntie said we shouldnt order veggy cos it was way too expensive...haha told us to buy from supermarket and cook at her house...mm next time we'll try...

every sat seems like a family gathering to me...really nice and warm feeling...wat will i do without them...~shrug~ think i'll feel lost...definitely...i'm really grateful to have them by my side...

went happy dazz last nite after i got home...think i ate too much...ended up a merlion even though i didnt drink alot...must be the beer...after that went ktv...didnt sing at all...think i slept thru it again...
havent had any food yet cos of hangover...now abit hungry...

auggy is back home and bro finally gotten him his chinese name...no more changes to the name cos birthcert is done...hehe....Augustine Yeong Yip Khan....soothed this angel to sleep juz now after he had his nappy changed...boy can he kick...nappy changing is like a wrestling match cos he keeps kicking...haha he's got long legs...like his dad and aunt...keke


little angel

i had so much fun today!

went to watch 'mysterious skin' today....it's been awhile since i last caught a movie...think the last movie i watched was a cartoon...hmm...o well...it's nice to catch good movies once in awhile...plus i love the company i had today =)

the movie is pretty graphic...if u aint the type that can take it then i suggest u dun watch it cos the two guys who caught it with me were very much taken aback by the scenes...

it's sad to see how the two boys grew up in two extreme ways...
manipulated and used when they were young, they coped with their similar situations the best they could...
one tried to seek the same kinda love he thought he was given...the other chose to escape and seek truth out of abstract ideas...

to think that there are children out there in the real world being sexually abused by adults...it sickens me to the core...how can one do such things to these pure and innocent souls...imagine the damage they've caused...it's a life long effects we're talking about...arent adults suppose to protect little kids rather than causing them harm?sigh....

went to bakerzinn after movie...wanted to eat cream brulee but they dun have it cos it was too late =(
when was the last time i ate it...cant rem exactly...but i think quite long ago...arh...i've been craving for it le...will eat it soon...
bummed into yvonne at the bakerzinn too...boy am i glad to see her...miss her presence so much...and seeing her all beaming and smiley as usual...i feel so happy for her!

sigh...i need my book back...but there seemed to be no news about it...perhaps it's lost...sigh feel so stupid...why did i even try to ask for it in the first place...i guess i'll juz have to go borders and look for it...sianz...

yeah badminton tomolo....hoho....

baby auggy...i'm really missing you now...miss your cries...miss your little sleepy look...come back soon yah...love you...

i didnt realise i've grown so attached to this little fellow...it's only like mm...6 days? with me not home most of the time...i seldom get to play with him...yet i really miss his presence tonite...his cries especially...and i miss carrying him...sigh sigh sigh...

gwen stefani ~cool~
nice song and mtv...she's so pretty!

went ikea with chris today...had fun looking around at furniture and stuff...bought purple photo frames!!! gonna put auggy and my photo in them...haha...till i take a nice pic with me carrying him.... i'll go develop the photos...right now he's always sleeping...and he only opens his eyes when he wants to drink milk...naughty little fella pooed on my mum's hand this morning...haha

alright gotta go do my work...never ending work...busy busy busy...i feel like going beach again...the sun, the wind, the sea....retreat to my inner world and try to convince myself to stay sane...haha...for the time being...jogging!

reached home pretty late today...though there's no training this week...

i went jogging again...to clear my mind...can feel the frustration building up in me...i dunnoe why...

little auggy's cries sounded like kitten...haha...

seeing brother carrying his baby...it's like a big baby carrying another...but he always managed to soothe little auggy...not bad for a first timer...have yet to carry my angel since hospital stay cos i'm always the smelly pig...anyway everyone are fighting to carry him when he cries so i can only stand one side and watch...haha...

gtg bathe...then i'm gonna play with him...ciao~

Isn't he adorable!!!

Cute right?

haha more pics to come...wait till he wakes up i'll take photos of his tiny little eyes...for the time being...everyone this is my angel auggy... =)

did i mention that i'm very proud of my sis-in-law...cos giving birth is such a tough process...and hearing her scream... i can sense the pain level she's at...she'll make a good mom...no doubt about that...

and guys...pls treat ur women (and that includes ur mom too) the best u can...labour pain is far worst than any pain that u can experience...

Hi, my name is Augustine Yeong
Papa, pls dun give me a difficult chinese name...

went jogging again...with adrian...haha...fun le...cos he took me to a new jogging route around punggol...or should i say out of punggol

jogged along serangoon connector...mm...somewhere that linked to hougang...then further up is kovan liao...actually i also dunno where i was when i jogged out of that linkway...if not for adrian i think i'll still jogged my usual boring route...and plus with him around i felt safer cos i really have no sense of navigation...haha...

was talking about backpacking in future...so exciting! experience and exposure...woo...think we all need that...

now my thighs are abit sore...hehe but i like that feeling...trying out blading next week...yah lah been talking about it for very long liao...at least now i have someone to make sure i wont bleed to death if i were to fall...haha

looking forward to badminton for next sat! hope u guys have the session next week...cos very seldom i get to join u guys for it...

met up with shijie juz now...had coffee...as usual was chatting and updating and gossiping as well...haha...fun fun...

baby auggy coming home tomolo!!!

so much so for my weekends...haha it's getting more and more exciting! yippee...

@_@ did i mention that i slept at 3am last nite and gotten woken up at 5 am due to the labour pain that sis had...

rushed to hospital to pass documents at 830am...motorbike fell side way on the slope...nearly kena my legs...luckily i hopped off fast enough to help daddy push it back...realise i can move the heavy bike..hmm...

went home after going hospital at 930am...went training in the noon at 1 pm...warmed up in courts and ran 11 rounds on the track with jessie...showered...went to hospital again to see baby auggy at 5 pm...

baby auggy is really cute...eyes are like his mom...small and oriental looking...small tiny mouth too...abit of hair and his head is really nice to touch...haha..abit elongated though...
and this angel of mine farted on me when i carried him...should see his face when he did that...really funny...

sigh...so nice to carry him...haha i think i carried him better than bro and sis...o well always support the neck and make sure he is comfortable lo...took some pic..will post them soon...haha he's really cute when he's awake...he'll juz look at u with his tiny eyes...eew...so sweet right...and he stopped crying when i carry him...haha...

after that i headed off to yd's house at 645pm....chatted with his mom then head out for dinner with the rest for bak kut teh...darn bloated...think i ate too much...went to play with yd's hyperactive plus teething doggy...this fur ball can really play man...and the way yilong talked to the doggy...it's as though she's his daughter...haha...then i fell asleep on the couch at 9pm....woke up at 1030pm and thankfully adrian drove....took me and ck home...thank u so much...

i'm half dead now lah...brain dead...cant sleep yet...talking to yan...@_@...cannot liao need to sleep...

o btw i saw benedict goh at the hospital juz now! haha not bad le...he doesnt look as odd as he appears on tv...not bad looking...haha...

AUNT JAYNA!!!!

i'm officially an aunt!!! wah hahaha....baby auggy juz popped out not long ago!!! heard his hearty strong cries over the phone when bro called juz now!!! o my god!!! so happy!!! i cant wait to see him!!!

my parents are busy fixing the baby cot...haha...too sudden cos we tot he'll only pop out in august!!! guess he cant wait to come out and see us!!! and best thing is he's not a august baby afterall...so much for calling him augustine...haha....

i'm off to schl! then i'll go see my baby boy after training!!! eew....i'm already picturing his cute little face in my head!!!

woo...ahh...5.52am

baby auggy...i cant wait to see you!!

beaming...beaming...beaming...met beautiful ppl today...keke...juz make my day...muah haha...

retail therapy always works for me...bought harvana slippers and espirit panty...keke...nice nice...it's all the wants and not the needs...have to make myself happy...which i did...plus the company i have for the whole shopping trip...i'm contended enough...=) muack...thank u!

realise i always indulge myself in better meals when the weekends come...eew...need to work doubly hard tomolo...

tried several dresses...still i cant decided wat to get for gina's wedding...so difficult to be a bridesmaid...argh...tube? halter? wat wat?

tried this skirt at zara...darn nice and it's bohemian style...gee i seldom look good with skirt that is below knee length...but this one is quite nice....sigh...contemplating upon getting it...how ck...i'm still thinking about it!!! argh....i'm so gonna bleed to death...

trying to change my style...gotten alittle sick of denim skirt...well...shall see how things go...

having some emotional rides lately...like a ki siao gal...can be happy one moment and moody the next...probably it's due to lack of sleep...slept late recently cos of training...by the time i reach home it's 10...after bathing and reading up some stuff...it can be about 1 am...which is good in some way...cos i'll juz propped into dreamland immediately and wont even have the brain cells to think about other stuff...

i have to start going to schl on my own...cannot reply on dad to fetch me to schl everyday...sigh...but sometimes i cant wake up in time...will try to get license soon..bike or car...either one will do...wonder if bro's offer still valid...mm...

exhauste...time to sleep...dream dream dream....drink drink drink...

dreaded the whole of today....esp when lesson ended early and training starts at 7...plus me feeling tired...dunnoe why keep feeling tired...something is wrong...tried to eat but dun have the appetite...system shutting down on me...

am looking forward to tomolo...meeting my fren to go shopping...juz cant wait to see him...and the sweet thing is he cant wait to see me and go shopping with me too...haha...babe, i think u may end up burning a hole in ur pocket as always

mm wonder if i can wake up to go walk that bridge at the reservior on sat morning...shall see...roller bladding on sun sounds good to me...that is if i dun fall and shatter my bones...mm...wat if i fell and no one is there to my rescue...wah very cham le...then i have to crawl back home...haha...jogging better...safer...

ahead of me will be filled with busy weeks...preparation, assignments, presentations...so i've decided to slack abit for this week...and try to recharge my long gone energy...

cant wait to get new clothes tomolo....or should i say later...i need alcohol...it's the second time i'm mentioning it this week...argh!!!

life is good afterall...i have my desired fyp topic...muah haha...something related to ASD...pediatrics!!!! am soo darn happy...plus my group mates are my own classmates...even better...happy happy....

wat comes down will go up...sigh sometimes i hope there wont be any downs...but that's life...

graduation is held for the whole of this week...was wondering wat it'll be like in a year's time when it's my turn...mm...it'll be a good gathering for all of us i guess...but first let us all pull thru the final year together...

yd...how have u been in thailand...hope u had fun at bangkok...mb i can go visit u during dec since i have hols during that time! haha...shopping!! miss you lots!! and we're planning to go see ur mom and yilong plus play with ur doggy this sat!!! will write to you soon...gotta send u some articles...long overdue man...take care yah...

gee...i feel like drinking again and audrey...ur mention about wala makes me wanna go even more..haha...gee...wonder when i can go again...perhaps soon...soon soon i hope...i need it!

i will never ever eat nuggets before training again...makes me wanna puke...damn horrible...

was so much in a daze after training today...bloody tired...energy darn low man....vision blurred again...played games with my vice cap till we both gotten so high and gong...i cant even walk straight after that

was shivering in cold today while i was in the lib...despite me wearing sweater...it's still bloody cold...weird...

yeah now i have more space to walk in my room cos i've finally cleared my stuff...

gonna sleep...

o my...it's been a looooooong time since i last heard this song....i missed it soooooo much! shall make a dedication on it at wala next time...i miss shirlyn's version....o man...really really miss it...

Mad About You

Feel the vibe, feel the terror, feel the pain It's driving me insane I can't fake For God's sake Why am I driving in the wrong lane Trouble is my middle name But in the end I'm not too bad Can someone tell me if it's wrong to be so mad about you Mad about you Mad Are you the fishy wine that will give me A headache in the morning Or just a dark blue land mine That'll explode without a decent warning Give me all your true hate And I'll translate it in our bed Into never seen passion, never seen passion That it why I am so mad about you Mad about you Mad about you Mad Trouble is your middle name But in the end you're not too bad Can someone tell me if it's wrong to be So mad about you Mad about you Mad Give me all your true hate And I'll translate it in your bed Into never seen passion That is why I am so mad about you Mad about you

felt like a matchmaker...o well sorta...feels good though...hope things go well...

don't seem to have the drive for studies...feel as though i'm passing my days without concreate plans or goals...like an empty shell walking around aimlessly...damn i hate this feeling...think my adaptability gotten sucked dry during attachment...right now i'm lacking the drive for everything i do...wat's wrong with me...

was watching 'tuesdays with morrie' last nite...me too am afraid to cry, to love, to show my own emotions...i always hold back...no matter how hard i try, i cant give it all...why why why? i dunnoe...i think somewhere along my development stage i'm stuck and it's gotten fixated till now...haha gee that sound awful...

i dunnoe...mb i havent been thru enough...but havent i had my fair share?? why is it that i still feel vulnerable...how many huge hurdles do i have to go thru before i can at least breathe without any obstruction?? some how all these years i felt suffocated...gasping for air...occasionally feeling better when i'm allowed to breathe normally... and juz when i tot things are finally changing for good....it's another round of suffocation again...when is it gonna end??

i'm really tired...how long do i have to hold on...how many times do i have to tell myself i can pull thru it...how many times do i have to tell myself i'm strong....when can i ever be free from this mental tortment?? sometimes i wonder if depression ever left me for good...i dun wanna go thru it again...i really cant...

painted my nails...bloody red...haha...it's been ages since i last painted them...bought the nail polish months ago and was too lazy to use it...

tiring day...training from 1-5...walked around the track with jessie for 1 hour plus...i dunno how many rounds we've walked but the conversation we had soothed me alot...it's really nice to walk and talk non stop....haha thanx for talking to me woman...and filling me up with that extra infor! gee...i dunno wat i'm doing at times man...totally...

had dinner with apple and mark...haha so fun! catching up is always the nice part....been asking them when they are getting married...cos it seems like ppl around me are getting married soon..miss r is getting engaged...gina getting married...i think i'll have more wedding dinners to attend in juz a few years time...so fast eh...but i'm happy for them...

cant see myself getting married yet...not even back then when i'm attached...i have too many things in mind that i wanna accomplish...eew but i dun wanna die single and alone...haha...let's juz see how things go...i can only control that much of things in my life...love is definitely something i cant control...so let it be...

sigh...room is in a mess...wardrobe is in a mess too...how am i gonna move out if i'm always such a messy person...i'll clear my room tomolo...promise...slap me if i dun...

sitting inside starbucks drinking my coffee, penning my random thoughts

i looked out the glass panel and remembered something that happened at the spot juz outside the steps of starbucks...

i smiled...

when was the last time u sat down and think thru on the things u've done?

i did..despite feeling tired....and i actually smiled when i tot of what i've done and have been thru...it was bitter sweet no doubt...but wat is life if it's always filled with sweetness...soon u wont know how to appreciate wat u have and instead of facing the reality...u'll keep seeking for the sweetness that u wish will last forever....

i'm always a bitter sweet person...can be quite bitter at times but alittle sweetness will always be enough to melt me...sometimes i wonder if ppl find it hard to get along with me...

o btw...my sup sms me and informed me that AH has passed the JCI with flying colours...wah hahaha...i'm so happy for them...all the hard work finally paid off...and it's really sweet of her to keep me updated!

i have been listening to damien rice for weeks...so addicted to it...his songs are quite different...something new and edgy....i like~~

volcano

don't hold yourself like that you'll hurt your knees
i kissed your mouth & back that's all i need
don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
don't throw yourself like that in front of me
i kissed your mouth your back is that all you need?
don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
what i give to you is just what i'm going through
this is nothing new no no just another phase of finding
what i really need is what makes me bleed
and like a new disease she’s still too you to treat
volcanoes melt me down
she's still too young
i kissed your mouth
you do not need me

mom broke my favourite 'les miserable' cup...watched the play when i was 12 and bought it...sob...

11 years...and now it's gone...no more 'my' cup...

sigh...so fragile...nothing stays...

pulled thru another day with less than 4 hours of sleep...been amending my presentation the whole nite...dozing off here and there...trying my best to type as logical as possible...

in the end...i had to trouble my dad once again to drive me to schl...mom to make coffee and to heat up breakfast for me to bring to schl too...so much of being 23 huh...very much like a baby of the family...o well i like being doted on... who doesnt like to be treated that way....but i guess this status will not stick with me for long...cos the real one is poping out soon! i'll soon be chucked aside...haha...

sigh...was feeling lousy the whole day...cos was worried about presentation...i'm so scared that i'll be gunned down by HL's questions...cos she's the hands expert and i'm presenting case study on my hands pt...luckily it went thru pretty alright...though she did ask me some qn that i dun really know how to ans...sigh hopefully she saw how hard i've tried to ans her logically...

sleeping less...means i eat less too...juz dun have the mood to eat...cos too caught up with work...aint a good sign...but i cant help it...fluid is all i sorta took the whole day apart from the bit of food i shared with the gals...

nearly bursrt into tears during CE debrief...was so bloody tired that i was near breaking down...plus was listening to HB talking about stress during clinicals...reminded me of the bloody tough times i've been thru for the past month...juggling so many things on hand...i really feel burnout...if i havent had my frens with me and the 10 days break...i'll really die of mental strain...and to tell the truth...i havent been feeling too good mentally as in too much thoughts rambling in my head...pretty taxing for a tired mind...

sian...vision blurred...dunno is it due to tiredness or due to increase of degree...cant really see things clearly...if degree increase i'll have the excuse of making new glasses...muah haha...frens been telling me i've lost weight...mm dun think so le...i always tell them...it must be due to my tan cos when u get dark..u look slimmer and ur dark circles aint that obvious plus ur fats get burn off...haha who am i kidding..

i'm tired and stressed up...sigh...

bummed over at ck's place on sun nite...together with sze...so that mon morning we can send yd off at airport...quite a last min decision...but it was fun cos 3 of us have to squeeze in ck's room...and i get to sleep on the bed...muah haha...dozed off while talking to them...

set off early in the morning to the airport...tot i could see him off at the departure gate...mm but his flight gotten delayed somehow...so i have to give him an advance hug before heading to schl...

it's mushy...but seriously i'm gonna miss you and you know wat, i dreamt of u telling me u have internet connection over there leh...and u really have it now...mm...my dream is pretty accurate isnt it...haha...take care will you...purple!

am so darn stress up...presentation tomolo...so dead and drained now...

babe..thanx for cheering me up...muack!

met up with gina and bonnie last nite...went for a drink..yah again...after wala on thurs...i tot i can go balaclava for another round of unexpected band on fri nite...sadly...it's way too crowded even though we reached as early as 745...sigh...

but it's the company that counts so we went to another place where there is nice couch and less smoke...and there we chat and catch up on all the stuff that have been happening around us...

drank abit too much...have to head home first after our frog-leg porriage at geylang cos they gals wanna go for you tiao still...was having headache then...cant rem myself giving instructions to the cab driver...but gotten home as usual...went for training today with the hang over...still i managed to run 6 rounds =)

was wearing this off shoulder top that i bought from KL... quite like it...was peeling on my back when i wore it last nite but who cares...at nite no one can see...haha...

gals...thanx for the bday gift...really nice...something that i need hee...hope to meet up again...at least before gina's wedding...


wasnt that tipsy yet...


hehe...yah we kiap gina's head in the middle


see the contrast...fair and chao ta...


yah...here...i'm way tipsy already...


another contrast...snow white vs pocahontas


near to sleep mode...

promised to talk about my KL trip...so here it is...lotsa pics...

a no. of booboos happened...firstly... i was denied access to jb cos i didnt change my youthful photo despite two written warning on my passport...damn officer didnt even wanna look at my face...cancelled my access card and tell me to go back singapore change photo...

the gals were so worried...i was rolling my eyes...wat to do...i can only stand there and try to talk my way thru...of cos put on my lovely smiles but then he didnt even look at me...damn...in the end he made me go to another officer...first instinct...look for a younger one...muah haha...it worked...nagged me abit here and there...made me filled up the card again...gave me final warning and ta da...went thru the custom...

second booboos...dear min left her pouch in the taxi on our last nite...with passport, money and hotel key...ur heart can juz stop beating when u know u've lost ur passport...wat to do...have to plan to go down singapore embassy to make necessary arrangement the next day...the walk back from chinatown area to hotel was in total silence cos we're in shock and totally exhausted...

when we stepped into the hotel to report lost of our key...we're soooo darn relive to find that the taxi driver actually sent the pouch back!!! money was gone of cos but passport and key were there...that's all we need actually...wah haha...so exciting eh...haha...

other than these booboos...the trip was fun...we ate and ate and ate...think the weight i've lost came back due to this trip man...didnt buy much stuff...cos nothing interesting there...basically we juz walked around alot...hehe

o celebrated fen's birthday as well...in the hotel...fun..

and did i mention the purpose of this trip is to meet up with this malaysian director who directed the movie 'sepat'...mm some arts film...min's idea cos she won this dvd after watching the movie...and i'm glad we went...cos the director is such a nice person to talk to...her work place is really nice...

will upload more photos of the trip...tentatively juz view these...hehe...

o and dun go suntanning before any travelling...cos it's bloody painful!


start off...waiting for the comforty bus


this hotel rocks...cos it's really vintage...nice nice


art gallery? nah...our hotel


lounge area...nice right...


breakfast...egg...


food...seaching for food


mrt in kl...very very slow....


twin tower...nothing much to see actually


birthday rituals...cake smashing in hotel room


birthday gal...muack...we went thru hell before this celebration


heading home via train...muah haha

wanted to watch dvd...realise i didnt know which channel to turn to...in the end it was the connecting system that i have forgotten to switched on...duh...

ever come to a point where u havent spend enough time at home and felt that u're a total stranger to ur house even the equipment...i had that feeling yesterday...abit dumb eh...

anyway went back to schl to return my long overdued books and to pop by to see my squashies...

sigh...first time ever, i lost my temper...lectured my juniors due to their lack of attitude...and they are guys somemore...whine and whine and whine...

calmed down...was thinking if i have failed as a leader...i tried to get the morale up for my members and club...but with the lack of support from the schl sometimes it's really tough to do so...cos we dun have fundings to get coach for training...we're always being pushed over...contantly have to wait for replies to see if we can get into ivp...little contributions and they wanna get huge results...typical isnt it...

attitude is all it counts...if u dun have the correct mindset to come for training then dun come at all...the worst is to come for training and give me all sorts of excuses not to do them then whine n whine about being tired...who is not tired in the club...my committee gals are...but they've never complained a single bit...

perhaps i havent set good example to them for i havent been around for quite awhile due to clinicals...schl starts and i'll make sure watever i do they do too...

went down to wala after that...was fumming mad till i forgotten to have any dinner...
downed two stella plus nuts with empty stomach and i'm tipsy...shirlyn sang sad songs towards the end...nice...didnt realise how much i miss the band till i heard them...

aint no sunshine when she's gone....i havent heard that from her for a long long time...

going down bala tonite...another round of unexpected...~grin~

model...i swear i'll work out after these rounds of drinking...u watch out on ur diet too...~evil grin~

why am i not asleep at this time when it's suppose to be my hols?
me and my big mouth...
promised my sup i'll give her the translation tomolo...see...argh...have to deliever it by tomolo 12....then after that meeting the guys to go shopping...freaking dead man...shall hide my face under the cap tomolo...

feeling so high now...once again procrastination cost me to suffer big time...was watchin csi and alias the whole day...o man...havent watched alias for so darn long...realised i missed out so much of the storyline...used to 'watch' it with yd...will msg each other whenever it reaches the exciting part or that sidney has new cool outlook for her mission...so fun!!...now we dun have that kinda time to do such thing...busy busy busy...bet yd lost touch with the storyline too...

feeling abit numb at my fingertips...yucks...must have typed too much...

i cant wait for baby augustine to come...already i dreamt of driving him around showing him off to my frens...mm...they said i'm gonna spoil him...hell yes...cos he's mine too..though i have no contribution in him being created...haha....still he's gonna be part of my life! soon!
baby boy...aunt jayna cant wait to see and hold u...touching u on ur mama's tummy doesnt really help...so see you in august! muack!!

woke up at 8 and went back to sleep...yawn...luxury...feels so good to have time for myself...but i wanna get out of my house...messy room and translation work are driving me nuts...

sometimes i think my wilfulness really gets me into deep shit...haha...cant help it..it's like a hidden character in every youngest child...i gave in to my wilfulness and now have to face the consequences...blame who...myself...

game of love... i went in with a clear mind and came out with a woozy one...tot i can be a good player and will play it well...in the end i'm being outplayed by a better one...cant rem when i've decided to give up the control of this game...mb that's why i always ended up being dumped...

finding companionship is easy if happiness, fun and excitment is all that you're looking for...it's always easier to share happiness...i had fun and laughters for the past relationships...but till now i have yet to find one that i can share my sadness with or even go thru the downs with me...frens will know wat kinda shit i've been thru and they're the only ones who guranteed to be there...

6 months is all that happiness can last...which is why my r/s always expire then...i havent found a player who can surpass or stretch this deadline..

sigh...woman is woman afterall...always say one thing but meant the other...me especially...

was checking my hp... realise i've been sending msg to the wrong ppl...so blur...stupid nokia phone...wont happened anymore...always need time to adapt to new phone...urgh...

woohoo...i'm back...it's been fun!!! though there's a no. of booboos happening during the trip...but we survived thru it...will update about that tomolo...

been thinking alot during the journey to and fro...to the extend that i'm too exhausted to carry on and i fell asleep ...i havent done that for a long time...months i think...kinda miss it...

haha...yd thanx for the cd u've burnt...his songs are indeed good...i looooove them! been listening to it for the whole 3 days and havent gotten sick of it! the more i listen, the more sadness i feel....i like that feeling...


Lonelily
by Damien Rice

I gave me away
I could have knocked off the evening
But a lonelily landed my walls (??) in her hands
In a way I felt you were leaving me
I was sure I wouldn't find you at home
And you let me down
Could have knocked off the evening
But you lonelily let him push under your bone
You let me down
It's no use deceiving
Neither of us wanna be alone
You're coming home (x 4)
I gave me away
I could have knocked off the evening
But I was lonelily looking for someone to hold
In a way I lost all I believed in
And I never found myself so low
And you let me down
You could've called if you'd needed
But you lonelily got yourself locked instead
And you let me down
It's one thing being cheated
But you took him all the way through your bed
And now you're coming home
And I'm trying to forgive
You're coming home
And I'm trying to forget
You're coming
And I'm trying to move on
You're coming home
And you haven't called yet
You're coming home
And I'm trying to forgive
You're coming home
I'm just trying to forget
You're coming
I'm trying to move on
You're coming home
But you haven't called
You're coming home
You're coming home (x4)
I gave me away
I could have knocked off the evening
But I lonelily loomed her into my bone
You let me down
There's no use deceiving
Neither of us wanna be alone

~~

miss r...thanx for ya msg...i'm alright actually... dun worry...

quoted this from ya blog...
'I believe you meet the other party because you miss him and still think of him, so subconciously, you will see him some how. But you will spot him first, because you miss him more. If he doesn't spot you at all, that's bad, that means he doesn't even think of you anymore. That's why he's no longer sensitive to your presence.'

i've always been bad in spotting ppl esp in crowded places...so why did i spot him that nite...i have no idea...mm...perhaps i needed an ans for the unfinished business and eventually i've gotten wat i wan ...so in a way it's good isnt it...

filtering things not needed in my life...good process of telling myself wat is impt wat is not...cos my memory space is really limited...haha...that's life...at least mine is...

Argh...suffering from lobster syndrome...damn...i think i'm gonna peel like siao...

sze, ck....i had so much fun with u guys at sentosa today!!! thanx for psychoing me to swim to the island...cos i was paraniod that i'll drown..haha in the end i was exhausted and sze has to pull me along so all i do is juz float...nice le...like holding on to a dolphin (good enough that i didnt mention the other animal tat start with 's' end with 'l'...haha)...thanx for throwing me 3 damn times into the water...ur lousiness almost caused my bikini top to fall off 3 times -_-, making me scream like siao cha bo...haha it's fun when i clammed onto ck and wont let go cos i dun wanna be swang into the sea again....wish the rest could join us then we can run from one end of the beach to the other playing frisbee...good work out le...next time k...

haha now i'm all burnt...painful...

ed, appreciate ur frankness...and yah you shocked me...kinda brought me back to 3 yrs ago =)
at the moment i really dun have the energy....so let's juz leave it as it is...certain things cant be helped...friendship is all it is...i'm sorry u have to go thru it twice...but all along i've always treated u the same as before...

gotta finish up my report! nitenite

first day of not working...grovvy!!!

my multitasking level has been up by so many notches all thanx to my clinical...

sandwiches are made...think it'll turn soggy later...but wat to do...u guys still have to eat it no matter wat...cos i woke up early to make them! have this feeling that u guys gonna laugh at my tomato slices...watever...and mind u...i put two slices of ham in each sandwich....haha i know one is not enough...esp for sze...

anyway looking at the sky...i'm so thrilled!!! cant wait cant wait...

last day of work...yippee....worked extra 2 hours cos there wasnt enough ppl to handle the pts. Was about to leave at 12 when pts start coming in...so i actually treated them in my civilian clothes as i was ready to go...and damn i cut my finger -_-

met up with yk and yd for lunch at ikea...yd arh...ur editing is really good...and the music u've chosen is very suitable too...nicely done! u're getting better at it!

always a joy to hang out with the two of them...painful but i'm always laughing...why must u two always inflict pain and bruises on me...it's funny...now that i know i'm worth 'fighting' for btw the two of u and that u two really 'dote' me...i dun dare to use those words infront of u anymore...haha...why am i always the one who kena hit and pushed!

handsome...thanx for the present...thanx for talking to me...really hope u can join us at wala next wk...at least have a farewell drink with us? try k...

was roaming around like a zombie in the evening before meeting my fren for dinner...nice catching up...cos havent gotten the time to do so though we're in the same poly...i'm glad he's doing fine...sorry cant go night safari with ya...next time perhaps

babe i'm so glad u're back...i have so much to tell u...seeya tomolo k...

so true...the more i know, the more i sink into sadness...cos i'm starting to get paranoid...which i shouldnt in the first place...duh...

feeling very drained...mentally and physically...mm...wanna go wala soon...booze and music...recharge recharge recharge...i feel so darn old inside...