not again...

affected...
all be cos i've been hanging out late during fri and sat nite you assume that i am not putting enough effort on my studies...you said you dun wanna see me repeating my course or not being able to graduate...yah one bad fall and i'm marked dead on that forever...such a failure...ugrh...i know you care but must you always say things like that...

anyway drop tat subj...happy annoucement...i'm gonna be an aunt soon! haha...5 weeks preagnant...i mean my sis-in-law...so exciting!! can't wait man...

hop to another subj...had fun at the bbq last nite...nice to meet up with my click and chit chat...haha lotsa stuff to catch up...oooo juicy news flying around...haha...really have to thank sze for organising this bbq...=)

thanx for accompanying me last nite...sorry arh end up u have to go home while i join the gals at happy days...keke...anyway see u later k...tata

thank u mr H...hehe

alright...second week into my attachment...i'm like half dead cos kena bombarded by sup on alot of questions...think i won't fair well for midway eval...but i'll do my best...anyway now super lack of sleep...gotta prepare for tomolo's party...cos we have to organise games for our dept party tomolo...i hope things will go well...

sat having squash one-day camp...forgotten that it clashes with sze's bbq...will make it...die die i'll go cos i said i'm going...u guys have fun bbq~ing first lo...need anything like tibits or alcohol then i'll buy when i'm on my way there k...

As for U!
speechless...sweet enough of u to send me home juz now and even sweeter of u to give me a surprise...was stressed out today....to the extend it's almost the same kinda stress i felt when i was having exam...well...tomolo's a brand new day...will be better i hope...can't wait for the weekends to come...esp next week's weekend...hehe...thank u so so much!!

how true is it...i dunnoe...

Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-



i'm stressed up...damn stress up...help help help...many things to do...am so damn sleepy...
ugrh...i hate stress...it got worst when i'm home...not so much during attachment...so shitty...really full of shit lo...cos my diagestive system always cok up during attachment...either too stress or something...

i need hug and i need ppl to tell me things are gonna be alright...that i'll not be dead after this one month of attachment...damn it...it's only 2nd day of attachment...

unplanned evening...

i've gotten my purple specs...muah haha...yah yah it's purple! nice k...anyway will let u guys see it on sat...haha

tue nite...was wearing very lok kok...cos someone was wearing t-shirt and berms...wanted to have dinner together then go home early...but we ended up going holland v...eh two underdress ppl going holland v...looked kinda weird...but cant be bothered...haha...simple nite turn out pretty fun...

wed nite...went city hall for dinner...ordered salad and coffee...eh nydc really give huge serving for their salad...cos the one we had ended up as our dinner...pretty big bowl of chicken and veg....soo damn healthy...haha....caught singapore idol at the foutain...first time watching tv there...mm it's like catching those kind of big screen movie except that this screen is made out of water...interesting...yeah taufik won...i've guessed correctly...muah haha...but who know's mb he'll end up like ruben...hmm...

alright, i have to get ready to meet my beloved peifen...havent seen her since her exam...
o yeah sat going yd's house to bum round...
ck babe...if u're reading this...not sure if u're free tomolo...i'll contact u k...mb can meet u for lunch or dinner...

as for U...i'll see u later...~buai buai~

drink drink drink...

wooo...had squash training with coach and the gals...fun...yah i always say it's fun...cos i enjoy the process...

haven't hang out together for so damn long...i miss u gals so much...i miss the drinking days....getting tipsy together and giggling away...o man i miss those days...really...

didn't drink that much last nite...one stella, one volka blackcurrent and one tequila shot...and tah dah...i'm sleepy...so lousy...haha...and can't even play pool properly cos the gals keep teasing and distracting me... so sorry angie...keeping making our team lose...hehe...

bought jessie belated birthday gifts...cos haven't had the chance to see her till yesterday...hehe hope she likes them...

process...am always trying to make the best out of it
many things happened without me knowing the outcome...neither will i wanna expect too much nor to make sure the ultimate outcome will appear for definite...
dunnoe wat i'm blabbering about...juz something that came across my mind...

6 days...

haven't been blogging for days and so many things had happened...gee...i'm dazed by the stuff that went by...

for many things that happened during these 6 days...i haven't quite figured out the reasons why they turn out this way....but i'm contented...pretty much... hehe....U!

sat~ got to hang out with my click of frens...watched SAW....psycho show...but interesting...haha...totally grossed out by the scenes...ck gotten so scared that he had to grab my sleeve...haha...cannot help it but i really find it funny when u hid behind ur bag, sat lower and lower and eventually grabbed the sleeve of the sweater that u lent me...haha...

sun~ went out with mr H...keke...had fun...loved to go out with him...walked around in town and had dinner...then walked around town again..haha...=p

mon~ went shopping with yd...walked alot man...pratically from one end of orchard to dohby ghaut...shopped quite abit...but didn't buy anything except for his 3 pairs of socks...haha...but i enjoyed his company...been a long long time since we last did that...

funny thing was...think both of us are getting older and were so exhausted from all the walking that eventually when we get the chance to sit down...we both let out this ~ah~ sigh...haha like some old ppl...old liao old liao!

in the evening...we went to baker's inn for desserts...my o my...their desserts are sooo good!!! my hot choco cake is soo rich...yd's cream something something(i dun rem the name) is good too...i love the crust on top...it's a sugared crust and u'll need to use the spoon to break it...underneath it is like egg pudding...~melt~ so nice!!!

yan joined us shortly after we're into the desserts...kena strangled by her while yd juz walked away talking on his phone! argh...didn't even save me from her claws...
okie lah i was at fault in the first place for not telling her something...but i still need help when this woman attack...haha...cos she can get quite violent...haha

anyway had fun that nite...happy happy...haha mr H joined us for awhile too...keke...

tue~ had squash training...arh..i nearly died lo...if u think running in the squash courts is easy...come join squash and give it a try...ran 50 times inside and my legs are wobbly already...good butt exercise though...haha try it...

wed~ met up with apple and min...went ktv...hahaha fun fun...always love to sing and hang out with them...alot of things to catch up with...haha even went raffles city to see apple's bf performing as tigger...haha quite funny...cos tigger keep waving at us on stage too...haha

went shopping with the gals after that...stamped my own toe with the high heel i was trying on...gosh was juz telling apple that the shoes look bimbotic and there i am stamping it on my own big toe...-_-''...duh...stupid stupid...bleed abit somemore...

thurs~ went schl for awhile...to surprise someone...haha...guess wat...while walking towards the schl...few feet away a girl infront of me gotten splashed by the car...cos it was raining then...i was trying so hard not to laugh...at the same time counting myself lucky that it's not me...hahaha...then another gal slipped and landed on her butt right before i entered the schl...i feel like i've jinx them or something cos both happened right before my eyes...o man...

o btw...i've gotten my results...hahahahaha satisfying lah...at least no sup paper!!! mainly Bs and Cs...haha...goodness...was so scared lo...cos COP was quite a killer...glad that ppl around me did well too..happy for them as well...hehe good good...

okie have to stop here...too too long le...one more week to attachment...worried...


hehe...yeah pulled thru exams...see...told u men's sixth sense is not accurate...haha
thank you for all the time spend together...love it....
lot more stuff to say but dunno how to put it so shall leave it as it is...
see you later!

incredibles...hehe

6 am in the morning, not that i woke up early... i simply can't seem to sleep...think btw 2-5 am i was sleeping...then suddenly ~ting~ i'm awake...no matter how hard i try to sleep...i can't....cham think tomolo may not be fit enough for training....

i'll still make it for the movie though...it's been a long time since i last watched a show with my click...gonna catch the movie- saw...plot seems pretty interesting, heard it's kinda relate to human survival instinct..mm...will let u know if it's nice...gee...i seemed to be into movie critque lately..

btw i bought the skirt i've been eyeing previously at project shop( ck rem the one i tried for u and sze to see...haha yah yah it's that one!!!) and it was like half price!! haha happy happy...

Insomnia...not sure issit the food i had for dinner, the coffee or you...

have been meeting up with mr H lately....first was in schl...then was lunch and yesterday for dinner and movie....watched Incredibles....eh not as nice as i expected le...beginning part was so draggy...okie lah it does get better towards the end...haha...

got home late...cos of the movie and it was raining so we're stranded in sheltered area...trying to look for cab...

thanx for sending me home...=) and thanx for the lovely nite!
~hugs~

not my cup of tea....

haha was on msn the whole day today...can't believe it...
okie and i went clubbing with the gals today...

first, we went to rouge...nice place...like the atmosphere and the serivce there...more of a chill out place...

then we wanted to go china black....BUT....super duper long que...so took a cab down to zouk and phuture....

dance floor was packed like sardine...and we have to squeeze with so many ppl juz to stand there in order to dance...-_-"....okie as u can see from the way i type...clubbing is so not for me...let me tell u:
1. i cannot dance
2. music sux
3. didn't get to drink much alcohol... if i drank more and i've gotten high mb i'll find no. 1 and 2 more bearable and fun...
4. all youngsters...and drunk(fat and ugly) guys that came and disturbed my gals...ugrh...so wanna flick them off like flies...

i did have fun at rouge when we sat down, talked and drank abit....had great time chatting with the gals...mm juz the dancing part...eh think i'm too old for that...hahaha...

anyway i bumped into yan and her gal...man her gal can dance real well...hehe no wonder this woman aint studying for her exam and instead came out to chiong...

need to sleep le...cannot take it...hair still wet but can't be bothered...tomolo still gotta go for dentist app at 11!! i have been good and have brushed my teeth all the time so pls pls pls...i dun wanna have any decay or holes in them...juz polish them white and shiny...~cross finger~


not sure what time u wait up till....gosh don't wait up next time...should sleep earlier cos u're still sick! okie am off to bed...~nite~

tired...

happy birthday ck!!!!!

o man...i'm sleepy...but have yet to bathe...waiting for the water to get hot...haha....

met up with apple today...finally we get to see each other!!...haven't seen her for monthsss....too bad min still having exams...if not three of us will have crazy time together...mm next wed...i think three of us will meet up...yeah!

we have so much to catch up...and we talked for so so long...haha....esp during dinner and coffee time...and we've been shopping around for her gifts and clothes for hours....man my legs are tired...esp after yesterday's jog....

okie i'm going to bathe now and then will be off to bed...
going clubbing with my classmates later tonite...i feel like drowning myself with alcohol but i know i can't...gotta look after the gals...hai i dun like dancing le...how...mb juz stand there and keep drinking...haha...we'll see...nite everyone...


happy...met up with someone in schl today...
poor chap...you seem pretty sick...eew...take care and pls see doc!

big huggzzzz

o yeah...brought the cookies for the guys and gal...papa ng, vicky, yidong, ck, adrian and chun yew....it's like a family gathering last nite...haha so fun! miss them miss them...finally had the chance to chit chat and bum around at papa ng's place...~contented sigh~ hehe

my reward for the day...big hugs from everyone! haha....okie lah i didn't hug papa ng...eh but i hugged his vicky..so can le...chun yew cannot hug...cos he's too young...haha...

actually, i'm just glad that i can cheer them up alittle...u know how exams can dampen one's mood...haha...but anyway u guys will soon be out of this misery...hehe

And yd...yes lah i celebrate both hari raya and deepavali...where can u find a fren as mutliracial as me..i've even got names in four different races remember...haha...=p

alrighty...i'm off to jog...finally the sky is clear and weather is so damn cooling!!! wonder how much i can run today...eh hopefully alot..haha...ciao~


=)...i'm not too sure what exactly happened but i do hope that this festive season and the visits to your relatives will cheer u up...smile...u know how to reach me when u need to...seeya!
~hugz~

cookies...yum yum....

yesh...managed to get some homemade cookies today....haha...all thanx to my lovely ah ping...u know wat...if u ever open a bakery shop...i'll chip in money to support u k...and help u eat too...muah haha

okie okie...i have to admit..i didn't do much..except for chopping up the nuts (which took me damn long cos the nuts keep rolling...and stop rolling ur eyes when u read this...haha) and shaping the cookies...plus washing up...yah i'm better at washing dishes than baking...haha

i love to hang out with this cousin of mine...cos she's like a little sis that somehow didn't pop out from my mom's womb...haha...i used to bully her alot man...make her cry alot too...but when i look at her today...mm i think she has grown quite abit...no longer the cry baby...hehe...although she made me puke blood during tuition...and is still doing it to the new tutor now....haha...still... she's fun to be with...we'll bake cookies or something else next time k...


~Before Sunset~

wanted to update about this movie but was abit *busy* lately haha

anyway i caught it alone...yah weird but with all my frens having exam and me so wanna catch this show...i seriously dun mind catching it all by myself...although yan keep saying how cham it is to catch a romance show alone...duh...

it's not really a romance kinda movie but it does talk about love and life....i juz looovvveee Ethan Hawke and Julie Deply...they did such great job! The chemistry between them is sooo good...makes me wanna watch Before Sunrise which was produced 9 yrs ago!


i like the relationship that they have...it seems so intense yet real....and it touches my heart so so much...

two strangers went seaparate ways after having met and spent a nite in Vienna 9 yrs ago...they parted before the sun rises...now they happened to meet each other after all these years....they only have one afternoon to find out if the feelings they left behind are real and whether they are really meant for each other....sound absurd...well u should catch it and if u ever do wanna watch it...dun focus too much on the ending or expect the two of them to make out and live happily ever after...cos in reality, things juz dun happen that way...and yesh the ending is slightly abrupt....but hey who is to say there must be an ending to every movie...

if u have the second chance, what would u do to prevent this special relationship from slipping away like it did previously?

the idea that we can only be complete with another person...ever wonder how and when it becomes such a norm...and why it is a norm?? well it's juz something that caught my attention cos i heard of it from a fren long ago and i know it's written by ethan hawke...and btw i love the part where julie deply was going bizarre in the car talking about her perspective towards love...cynical but interesting...catch it catch it...


okie...am suppose to be in bed...
words said, i've heard and i've remembered them
i may not say much but i am indeed smiling...
nitez~

how many ' if only..' have u said in ur life?

cant believe it...once again i woke up early...7.30am...i couldn't get back to sleep at all...it never occur to me that this aging syndrome will hit me so soon... o man...mm anyway i dun intend to sleep in too late...try not to if not during attachment period i sure die...

excited and scared at the same time...gotted posten to sgh neuro dept...demand is there...have to put in effort to keep up to it...

was chatting with this friend of mine the other day...and u know wat...i realise after 3 whole years...i'm still pretty much bitter about the previous relationship...mm...mb cos it's somewhat an unfinished episode...or perhaps it's juz my vincdictive nature...silly eh...i used to imagine the scenario on how my breakup will be...even though back then i was in the midst of being happily attached...weird eh...but anyway the ending is so not wat i thought it will be...

i dun hate him...in fact right now i dun feel a thing about him at all...i didn't shed a tear back then and neither have i cried when i think back...dun ask me why...i really have no idea...perhaps it's all these accumulated feelings that make me so insecure and cynical about relationship...think of it, these thoughts can be quite draining...but can't help it...it juz comes naturally...

life still goes on isn't it...right now i juz wanna be happy...

okie...change colour...went out having breadfast with my parents...they're like little kids chatting about this and that non-stop...

my dad said something about volunteer work...that it is a waste of time...that i should volunteer myself in housework instead( it aint the first time he said that)...-_-" u know i was like alley macbeal....playing scenarios at the back of my mind...except that this is no dancing baby but of stranggling my dad and shaking him hard...telling him to wake up....ugrh...he is so testing my patience....

i've been doing volunteer work since interact club days...and his words simply just brushed aside all my effort...i so wanna to ask him...so next time when i'm a therapist my job will be one that is of wasting time too issit...didnt ask...i was afraid of hearing his ans...cos if he ever said yes...i will stop eating immediately and walk home straight a way...thinking if it's time to move out of the house...seriously i had enough of him saying things that hurt me in one way or another...he did that once...and i crumbled like nobody's business....yah i am fragile esp to his comments...mb that's why i'm so stubborn, trying to prove him wrong...but time and time it seems like nothing has gotten across to him...

enough said...i'm going shopping...retail therapy..here i come...and i better get something good...after not being able to get my peachy bodynits panty...i need something else to perk me up...haha...

goodness...i think i had such bad cough that my chest hurts....i can't even breathe in hard or cough too much cos it's painful...thanx to exam man...ugrh...now i can't even do sit ups or go jogging...dun think my lungs can take it....

need to sleep...but aint really sleepy yet...bet it's the coffee taking effect...juz chatted with a friend...hehe

today's so fun...went out with pf finally...watch shark tale...ain't as good as finding nemo...story wise...it's not really a cartoon for children...seems to suit adults more...still, it's pretty entertaining...laughed quite abit...

bought a short skirt at far east...muah haha it's cheap! bought earrings too...my favourite tear-drop shape...wanted to get a pair of shoes too...but too bad last pair was the displayed ones...so gave it a miss...

went to this eating place at scotts food court...they have burger called bao-ger...haha...it's very much like burger except that the bread is replaced by the bao...mm...get it? anyway we didn't eat that...we ate the set dinner with rice...nice! the person in-charge recommanded us the chilli crab bao-ger...mb next time we'll try it...should be nice...

alright i need to sleep...need to go town again tomolo...meet elective mates to get my assignment signed...duh....and to meet yan....and this woman...did something shocking...so shocking that i think ppl will be looking at us tomolo...-_- thanx arh...

anyway nite~.....yd, ck, papa ng, adrian.....hang in there...exam will soon be over...soon we'll be able to party~~~

yeah...exam over...

muah haha...exams are finally over....i'm here idling around with nothing to do...cos most of my frens are still having exams....and poor pf is sick...so have to cancel the dinner with her...hopefully tomolo can meet up with her for a movie...

cleared my room...finally, i have adequate space to walk around...haha...can't believe myself...i have never been such a good girl before...to clear my stuff right after exam...haha even my parents said i'm a little weird...

anyway went wala wala yesterday...unexpected band wasn't performing...hai...wasted...i so wanna hear shirlyn sings...mm...they had this other band with a male lead singer...aint really special...songs they sang are basically wat u hear from radio...

bored bored bored...nothing to do...okie shall stop...gtg...waiting for someone to call...haha..

panicky...

the older i get the more panick attacks i'm prone to...first is pract now is exam....my heart is weak...it's going to fail me soon with all these heart racing moments...

using my brain to study brain functions and memory...if only when i study these topics my memory will increase from KB to GB...i'll be so happy...

Seriously i miss my friends...really i do...i miss theirs faces...i miss talking to them face to face...i miss laughing with them...yah u'll think i'm some crazy woman who can only miss friends cos she got no lover...haha but i really do miss them lots...the only thing i can do now is sms them...how am i going to survive if i ever wanna go oversea to study or work...hmm..beats me...

and i wanna watch Visit of Tai Tai too...but i know i dun have the luxury to do so...o well guys let me know if it's nice k...i'll catch other productions once my exams are done...hopefully by then there'll be good plays around...

Before Sunset....aim to catch it after exam too...ethan hawk...like him...esp after great expectation...sigh...

alrighty back to studies...hang in there...everyone...or mb just me...

my little kite

juz had two pract exams...taking a break...here's something i've written long ago...cant rem what i was feeling when i wrote this...juz something to share...

Daddy taught me how to make a kite
simpl, plain yet significant
Colourful strings attached to it
How beautiful the kite was,
I used to think

Soaring in the glaring sky
my little kite disappeared among the clouds
Panicked, yes I was
But with a little tug and pull
it came flying back into my sight, my comfort zone

Controlling the roll of thread was fun!
Pull it,
and the kite will be by my side
Let go,
and it will merge with the sky!

But how fun can it be
when the thread snapped
And my little kite was mine no more
Tried to grasp it with my little arms
All I had was emptiness

'It's okay' Daddy said
'We can always make another one'
Yes, and maybe I can attach more threads to it,
So that it will not be taken away from me again!

Daddy only smiled at me
The same kind of smile that I will have right now...

~yj~

@_@

Guess wat...i havent been sleeping for 20 hours le...rushing the 3 assignments...and i finally finished on time...hopefully i can make it thru...esp robert's case...i crack my head to do one....

aint really tired at this point...think over the point of feeling tired...

have to start mugging for papers le...and pract too...i really really hope i can do well for pract....though not very likely..but...will try my best...hopefully my mom will be guinea pig for me to test on....

think i may not blog for quite a while...but guess all my friends are busy mugging too...all the best for all ya exams...

gtg...ppl...sleep well and drink more water k....

i will survive...~i miss the helium voice~

running out of time but here i am...wasting time...sipping at my ginseng...hoping it will gimme the wakefulness that i so needed now...

2 down 1 more to go...drowning in the sea of papers...come look at my room...every inch of it is covered with papers...it's the time of the year again....reports...driving me nuts...hai this time of last year...i have buta san to acc me thru my typing....but this time round he's too busy to keep me company...hai yah miss those times...cos can irritate him...haha...have to thank him o...cos he always have to take my grumbles and complaints whenever i catch him online...


X: hey are u drowning?
Y: no, i'm swimming.

ass-u-me.....yup....ppl like to assume...explain further next time....i'm running out of time...

it's killing me....

arh....the headache is killing me...right frontal lobe...making my right eye pain also...as though it's gonna pop out...had it during squash training juz now...

training today is fun...kinda take my stress away abit...i think i'm driving coach crazy...cos i'm forever so slow...in reflex and in learning from my mistakes...hai yah but then i tried my best le....

arh...pain pain pain....weird tot i was hungry that's why headache came...but then ate bread liao it's still there...hopefully the bath will relieve it....

hai sickening shit...tomolo have to attend national education....waste my sleeping time....not that i dun love my country...but being a history student and under s'pore schooling system for so long...i bet the govt's propaganda is working very very well in all of us(if u watch dim sum dollies u'll know how true it is...ha!)...why on earth they want to make us sit thru these excruciating 10 hours of lectures....plus that lecturer....cannot stand him....

exams is in 2 weeks time...still doing assignment...next year how...will be worst lo...double the work load plus squash...how to cope arh...think i may juz drop dead...doubt i can fulfill the roles to expectations lel...how how how....

arh headache....i miss wala wala so much...i miss roy playing guitar too...hai~ but then heard he's not back with the band...hai~ why why why.....
will drink till i'm dead drunk after exam...dun care arh...i cant take it any longer...

foul mood

once again i'm in bloody mood...not cos i'm having my period...cos i've realise something which i have been denying and hoping it has changed....

firstly, i have so many darn assignments to rush that i practically haven't been sleeping more than 5 hours daily...and now i'm having sore throat...and headaches...great...

i realise no one in my family take me seriously...an hour ago my parents met old neighbours of ours back in the ang mo kio days...they came to our house, they talked and looked around.

Something in their conversation struck me...when they asked my parents if i were still studying in university...my parents juz gave a small laugh and replied yah havent finish studying...

i mean wtf...they dun even take the time to tell them that i'm in poly and not a uni-grad with basic degree student...they probably think it's such a trivial thing to them...mb they dun find the need to explain to other ppl but to me it juz mean something...they dun give a damn wat i'm doing...

count me a petty, paranoid, stupid bitch but all i ever wanted is their recognition...but all i ever get is seeing them proudly showing the neighbours the tonnes of books that my bro bought from china back when he was studying there...

and u know wat...i realise all these years i have been fighting the battle alone, trying so hard to get back on my feet and so bloody caution not to fall again, trying to make them proud of me...alone....no matter how much i tell myself that they are there for me...fact is they're not...

i'm so tired...whenever i touch on this issue i'm always so emotional...so lonely...