sigh...finally my placement has ended...went back to schl today to do some research...i actually miss the feeling of being in schl...and it feels nice to be in the lib reading up stuff...haha...yah i'm weird...
yeah no more travelling from one end of singapore to another every morning...but i do miss the ppl and kids at jurong cdu...hope everything will be fine for them...
will be sleeping late for this whole week cos i need to rush my work...must get them done asap...but i have one big headache...i dunnoe how to use photoshop to design leaflet...mm...if only it can be handmade...haha...it'll be so much easier...a computer idiot like me...sigh...will find my way to finish it lah...
yippee...gotten a new schl bag...thank you my dear...i really like it alot but at the same time am feeling guilty for making u spend so much...seriously i didnt know it cost that much...eek...
okie gtg head for schl to do work...feeling abit stress now...sigh...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
floating...
cant seem to settle down and get my work done...attachment is gonna end in a week time and i have yet to start doing my work...plus me falling ill...that's worst...
one week break coming...gotta do work...tonnes of them...and studies too...think i've placed it aside for long enough...think i'm gonna miss my kids when my placement end...sigh...seems like my one month is not enough with them...cos i only get to see them at the most 4 times? or less than that...sigh...time is passing so darn fast....and i'm growing older each day! gosh....
think i slept too much today cos i'm like blabbering now...cant help it...been tired the whole day...must be my period...so many things to do but i'm procrastinating...argh...wake up wake up...
gtg read some stuff...brain dun seem to work these days...damn...
one week break coming...gotta do work...tonnes of them...and studies too...think i've placed it aside for long enough...think i'm gonna miss my kids when my placement end...sigh...seems like my one month is not enough with them...cos i only get to see them at the most 4 times? or less than that...sigh...time is passing so darn fast....and i'm growing older each day! gosh....
think i slept too much today cos i'm like blabbering now...cant help it...been tired the whole day...must be my period...so many things to do but i'm procrastinating...argh...wake up wake up...
gtg read some stuff...brain dun seem to work these days...damn...
Friday, March 18, 2005
where were u when i needed someone to guide me and be there for me during my lowest point...and now u assume father-like figure all of the sudden...
it reminded me of wat u've said sometime back...that if i'm guy...u would have wacked me inside out for being such as loser...but becos i'm a girl ultimately i'll be married off and u can wash ur hands off me eventually....
...i'm never good enough...i can never outshine u...do u know how pressurising it is to constantly live under ur shadow...i dont even know why i did that...was never good in my studies...neither am i good in my chinese...i so wanted to prove that i can be as good as you...perhaps i overestimated myself...
it reminded me of wat u've said sometime back...that if i'm guy...u would have wacked me inside out for being such as loser...but becos i'm a girl ultimately i'll be married off and u can wash ur hands off me eventually....
...i'm never good enough...i can never outshine u...do u know how pressurising it is to constantly live under ur shadow...i dont even know why i did that...was never good in my studies...neither am i good in my chinese...i so wanted to prove that i can be as good as you...perhaps i overestimated myself...
Thursday, March 17, 2005
hungry...
at this moment...i'm feeling hungry...cos i had nothing but porridge thru out the day...damn hungry!!!
i'm sick...running a fever yesterday after attanding to 4 kids...pretty fulfiling day for me...although i got shoe prints all over cos a kid refused to take off his shoes during therapy and he stepped on me for dunno how many times...
anyway took mc today...sigh...out of no choice cos i really have no energy plus i dun wanna infect the children...so i have to make it up...which means my attachment will end one day later...sob...sob...i so dun wan that to happen...sigh...
sigh...feel so weird...everyone is treating me like a kid...mom keep reminding me wat to tell the doc when i went to get mc this morning...i'm like duh not the first time i see doc on my own...something else happened too...mm...talk about it next time...need to go sleep...take care ppl...drink more water and dun fall sick...
i'm sick...running a fever yesterday after attanding to 4 kids...pretty fulfiling day for me...although i got shoe prints all over cos a kid refused to take off his shoes during therapy and he stepped on me for dunno how many times...
anyway took mc today...sigh...out of no choice cos i really have no energy plus i dun wanna infect the children...so i have to make it up...which means my attachment will end one day later...sob...sob...i so dun wan that to happen...sigh...
sigh...feel so weird...everyone is treating me like a kid...mom keep reminding me wat to tell the doc when i went to get mc this morning...i'm like duh not the first time i see doc on my own...something else happened too...mm...talk about it next time...need to go sleep...take care ppl...drink more water and dun fall sick...
Sunday, March 13, 2005
haha we came in 15!
out of 50 teams...we actually came in 15 for the xphysique event....woo hoo...well done eaters!!! haha didnt expect that at all...
nothing much today...except that we gotta attend the annual OT conference held by the year 3s...next year will be our turn...man...so scary...
couldn't go squash cos of the conference...and i'm so blur lo...booked the courts for the squashies but forgot to give my guy captain my ic no. for him to make payment...so damn absent minded...plus he couldnt reach me as i was at the lecture theatre...no reception...sigh... felt so incompetent...sian plus my attachment i havent got time to plan for squash camp yet...damn...
anyway...evening time went to toa payoh to have dinner...then sit around at starbucks to chit chat...sigh...felt good...we laughed at silly jokes and chat about current issues...miss spending time with my friends...glad we did that today...hehe...fun fun....
sigh...think i need to take up tuition...dilema...sch work, squash, tuition....how am i going to cope and how am i going to spend time with hairul, my friends and even myself then???
i need sugar daddy...muah haha....
i cant wait to earn my own bucks...at the same time i very much wanna study still...think i dun even have the money to further it...sigh...cant be help...part of growing(old) process...
list of things i wanna buy:
1. schl bag ( current bag...disintegrating at the moment...shall see how long it can last)
2. hp ( current phone i love it...but abit siao siao lately...dunno why....think it's dying soon...)
3. court shoes for squash ( few occassions where i nearly slipped and kill myself in court...)
shall see...if my allowance come mb i'll get them...if my allowance doesnt come then forget it...mb i shouldnt even ask for allowance to be transferred cos each time i ask i feel like a begger...sick to the core...
sigh...forget it...i shouldnt have expectd so much...juz be glad that i dun need to pay my handphone bills and transport fees...the rest juz leave it....
gtg...2 more weeks of attachment...woo hoo...
nothing much today...except that we gotta attend the annual OT conference held by the year 3s...next year will be our turn...man...so scary...
couldn't go squash cos of the conference...and i'm so blur lo...booked the courts for the squashies but forgot to give my guy captain my ic no. for him to make payment...so damn absent minded...plus he couldnt reach me as i was at the lecture theatre...no reception...sigh... felt so incompetent...sian plus my attachment i havent got time to plan for squash camp yet...damn...
anyway...evening time went to toa payoh to have dinner...then sit around at starbucks to chit chat...sigh...felt good...we laughed at silly jokes and chat about current issues...miss spending time with my friends...glad we did that today...hehe...fun fun....
sigh...think i need to take up tuition...dilema...sch work, squash, tuition....how am i going to cope and how am i going to spend time with hairul, my friends and even myself then???
i need sugar daddy...muah haha....
i cant wait to earn my own bucks...at the same time i very much wanna study still...think i dun even have the money to further it...sigh...cant be help...part of growing(old) process...
list of things i wanna buy:
1. schl bag ( current bag...disintegrating at the moment...shall see how long it can last)
2. hp ( current phone i love it...but abit siao siao lately...dunno why....think it's dying soon...)
3. court shoes for squash ( few occassions where i nearly slipped and kill myself in court...)
shall see...if my allowance come mb i'll get them...if my allowance doesnt come then forget it...mb i shouldnt even ask for allowance to be transferred cos each time i ask i feel like a begger...sick to the core...
sigh...forget it...i shouldnt have expectd so much...juz be glad that i dun need to pay my handphone bills and transport fees...the rest juz leave it....
gtg...2 more weeks of attachment...woo hoo...
Monday, March 07, 2005
x-physique!
haha...so fun! went for ntu sports club event today...really enojyed myself...yd, thanx for psycho~ing me to join...although i feel like breaking ur neck when i swam in kallang river...cos it's so damn tiring...keke...
alright...did alot of things for the first time...
jumped off at the kallang bridge and swam in kallang river...ran to the cycling point...cycled for awhile then went to kayak....first time kayaking...really damn lousy...haha...think papa ng really vomitted blood kayaking with me...but it's very fun lah...cos i keep laughing and laughing...cant help it cos no matter how many 'left right left right' he shouted...i juz cant synchronise with him...haha...we really struggled alot cos our kayak keep going to one side...damn tiring...
tried rock climbing and abseiling too....so malu cos i fell then have to start again...but alright lah...fun fun...abseil is fun too...
o well...overall it's good experience..i'm so happy that we've made it thru...and i'm proud that i've actually made it thru too...and for the first time i really hated running...but anyway had great time with my frens and mr H too...
alright gtg...attachment tomolo...hopefully i still have energy to chase after kids...
yd, i'm so proud of u...=) pls have good rest since the event has ended...take care yah..and thanx!
alright...did alot of things for the first time...
jumped off at the kallang bridge and swam in kallang river...ran to the cycling point...cycled for awhile then went to kayak....first time kayaking...really damn lousy...haha...think papa ng really vomitted blood kayaking with me...but it's very fun lah...cos i keep laughing and laughing...cant help it cos no matter how many 'left right left right' he shouted...i juz cant synchronise with him...haha...we really struggled alot cos our kayak keep going to one side...damn tiring...
tried rock climbing and abseiling too....so malu cos i fell then have to start again...but alright lah...fun fun...abseil is fun too...
o well...overall it's good experience..i'm so happy that we've made it thru...and i'm proud that i've actually made it thru too...and for the first time i really hated running...but anyway had great time with my frens and mr H too...
alright gtg...attachment tomolo...hopefully i still have energy to chase after kids...
yd, i'm so proud of u...=) pls have good rest since the event has ended...take care yah..and thanx!
Saturday, February 26, 2005
dependency...i hate it...
mentally wasnt feeling that well...may be due to the lack of sleep...cos thurs nite was rushing report like mad....only slept for 3 hours and i'm off to schl...
lack of sleep...makes me cranky...
realise i've depend too much on ppl around me esp my parents...been depending on them to gimme allowance...depending on my dad to drive me to schl...depending on them to understand that i need to get away from singapore for my hols before i go crazy...
shouldnt have given up tuition back then...how naive i am to think that my dad will give me allowance without complaining about it...no doubt i may spend a little too much...but have been cutting down on expenses...
it just sickens me that at age 22 i have to justify to them what i spend on..explain why i need the money...i hate to beg...but i hve to cos i'm totally dependent on them financially...it makes me feel so useless and incapable...
have been so eadgy since last nite...simple comments by my dad made me cry...although perhaps he didnt mean it...wat he said really put me into thinking...i'm expecting too much from them...parents at their age should be pampering themselves and enjoying their lives instead of providing for me...
i've always linked dependency to weakness....and ironically... i often fall into this comfort zone subconciously...until one day like yesterday when things happened and it hit me in the head telling me i should wake up and stop being a baby...
who can i depend on? myself...
others will always have the choice to reject u when they wan to...so if u're at the level where dependency is fully established...u'll juz crash and burn when they choose not to help u anymore...or that u realise u need to beg in order to get wat u wan...how pathetic....
hate being the weak me...i hate to cry...i've cried too much during that 2 years...and i told myself dun fucking cry anymore.....
or perhaps i've been conditioned since young that crying equals to being weak...yet i yearn to cry sometimes to let out my emotions...this kinda struggle always put me into situation where i wanna cry but no tears come out...or eventually if i do cry...i cant stop...
sigh...freaking tired...cant type anymore...juz freaking tired...
lack of sleep...makes me cranky...
realise i've depend too much on ppl around me esp my parents...been depending on them to gimme allowance...depending on my dad to drive me to schl...depending on them to understand that i need to get away from singapore for my hols before i go crazy...
shouldnt have given up tuition back then...how naive i am to think that my dad will give me allowance without complaining about it...no doubt i may spend a little too much...but have been cutting down on expenses...
it just sickens me that at age 22 i have to justify to them what i spend on..explain why i need the money...i hate to beg...but i hve to cos i'm totally dependent on them financially...it makes me feel so useless and incapable...
have been so eadgy since last nite...simple comments by my dad made me cry...although perhaps he didnt mean it...wat he said really put me into thinking...i'm expecting too much from them...parents at their age should be pampering themselves and enjoying their lives instead of providing for me...
i've always linked dependency to weakness....and ironically... i often fall into this comfort zone subconciously...until one day like yesterday when things happened and it hit me in the head telling me i should wake up and stop being a baby...
who can i depend on? myself...
others will always have the choice to reject u when they wan to...so if u're at the level where dependency is fully established...u'll juz crash and burn when they choose not to help u anymore...or that u realise u need to beg in order to get wat u wan...how pathetic....
hate being the weak me...i hate to cry...i've cried too much during that 2 years...and i told myself dun fucking cry anymore.....
or perhaps i've been conditioned since young that crying equals to being weak...yet i yearn to cry sometimes to let out my emotions...this kinda struggle always put me into situation where i wanna cry but no tears come out...or eventually if i do cry...i cant stop...
sigh...freaking tired...cant type anymore...juz freaking tired...
Monday, February 21, 2005
new year, v day, being wacked day...
new year came and passed...collected ang baos...received quite abit of money...yeah good good cos i'm so darn broke...
didn't do much this year...visitings to relatives house were done in the first day...pretty fun...went ktv with my parents, aunt, uncle and cousins...had so much fun...think it's the first time i ever sang in front of my parents and with them too...really enjoyed myself...and i think they had fun too...though the karaoke system is a littlt too complicated for them to use when selecting the songs...
then it's v-day...planned to spend more time together during weekend but couldn't do so due to some reasons...it's okie...instead we had dinner at fish & co on monday...pretty fun...cos i made mr H carry something that he wouldn't wanna carry around...haha too bad...gotta be sabotaged by me...after dinner we juz head home loh...simple lah but good enough for me...
wednesday....being wacked by my junior on the forehead..and it's with the racquet...had a cut at the eyebrown area and a bum too...now my eyelid is bruised...goodness...so damn ugly...dark circles are bad enough..now this bruise...yucks...and it's turning greenish blue...-_- having been icing it...dun even dare to rub...darn pain!
okie it's been quite awhile since i update my blog...sorry arh...busy with schl and squash...fri was the worst...cos i practically travel from schl to tampines...eve's house to do home modification...then back to schl to attend a concert...by the time i reached schl...the concert had ended...tried to rush back as soon as i could cos i promised my fren i'll attend it...but i ended up missing it...could only talk to her after the concert ended...at least i made it back lah...so sorry i missed it angie...
was really zombiefied on my way home...by the time i reached home...i was too tired to move and ended up sleeping on the floor till1 am cos i havent bathed yet so didnt wanna stink my bed...was really gone this time round...minus the alcohol though...haha
attachment is out for me...will be posted to jurong child development unit...uh dunno where is it...if i'm not wrong it should be at jurong polyclinic...which is near NUH.... which mean i'll have to travel from one end to another everyday!!!! 4 hours of travelling at least...o my...sure dead tired one...but then at least i'm in pediatrics this time round...and did i mention that i'm alone for this placement...uh..okie lah...bo bian...
read-with-me prog is back...if i were to go for it...that means every sat i'll go read-with-me at 915am....then head for training from 12-5pm....-_- very fun hor...ppl dun even work full day on sat...arh...
okie i need to work on my report...have been procrastinating for freaking long liao....
ppl pls take care...weather very hot...so drink more water!
didn't do much this year...visitings to relatives house were done in the first day...pretty fun...went ktv with my parents, aunt, uncle and cousins...had so much fun...think it's the first time i ever sang in front of my parents and with them too...really enjoyed myself...and i think they had fun too...though the karaoke system is a littlt too complicated for them to use when selecting the songs...
then it's v-day...planned to spend more time together during weekend but couldn't do so due to some reasons...it's okie...instead we had dinner at fish & co on monday...pretty fun...cos i made mr H carry something that he wouldn't wanna carry around...haha too bad...gotta be sabotaged by me...after dinner we juz head home loh...simple lah but good enough for me...
wednesday....being wacked by my junior on the forehead..and it's with the racquet...had a cut at the eyebrown area and a bum too...now my eyelid is bruised...goodness...so damn ugly...dark circles are bad enough..now this bruise...yucks...and it's turning greenish blue...-_- having been icing it...dun even dare to rub...darn pain!
okie it's been quite awhile since i update my blog...sorry arh...busy with schl and squash...fri was the worst...cos i practically travel from schl to tampines...eve's house to do home modification...then back to schl to attend a concert...by the time i reached schl...the concert had ended...tried to rush back as soon as i could cos i promised my fren i'll attend it...but i ended up missing it...could only talk to her after the concert ended...at least i made it back lah...so sorry i missed it angie...
was really zombiefied on my way home...by the time i reached home...i was too tired to move and ended up sleeping on the floor till1 am cos i havent bathed yet so didnt wanna stink my bed...was really gone this time round...minus the alcohol though...haha
attachment is out for me...will be posted to jurong child development unit...uh dunno where is it...if i'm not wrong it should be at jurong polyclinic...which is near NUH.... which mean i'll have to travel from one end to another everyday!!!! 4 hours of travelling at least...o my...sure dead tired one...but then at least i'm in pediatrics this time round...and did i mention that i'm alone for this placement...uh..okie lah...bo bian...
read-with-me prog is back...if i were to go for it...that means every sat i'll go read-with-me at 915am....then head for training from 12-5pm....-_- very fun hor...ppl dun even work full day on sat...arh...
okie i need to work on my report...have been procrastinating for freaking long liao....
ppl pls take care...weather very hot...so drink more water!
Monday, February 07, 2005
sleepy but cant sleep...
perhaps it's the coffee...perhaps it's my brain...need to sort things thru my mind...havent been putting my best effort in schl work...deadlines are coming up and i'm still procrastinating...guess i'll need to do my work during cny...
sometimes i wonder wat lies ahead for me...i seem to know where i'm heading to yet i feel clueless at times...
am i good enough to be an OT? am i good enough to be the captain? am i good enough as a student? am i good enough as a classmate? am i good enough as a friend? am i good enough as a lover?how come i seem to be inadequate in all the areas...
sometimes i wonder wat lies ahead for me...i seem to know where i'm heading to yet i feel clueless at times...
am i good enough to be an OT? am i good enough to be the captain? am i good enough as a student? am i good enough as a classmate? am i good enough as a friend? am i good enough as a lover?how come i seem to be inadequate in all the areas...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
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i need to buck up
so stupid...kena first warning by this nursing lecturer for wearing slippers...-_- students...wat they want us to wear...i dun wear make up to sch neither do i wear heels...why fault me for wearing something comfortable...rigid old mind...
went to visit eve today after ee zu let us off...so poor thing...worried for her man...
but she seemed quite alright...was sleeping soundly when we visited her...bought her a small little balloon..haha hopefully it cheered her up...at least she is still joking with us when we're there...
surprisingly...hua beng appeared too...juz when we were speculating whether he'll coms visit eve...he appeared at the door...wah not bad to have such nice lecturer...haha...really nice of him to pay a visit..at least he reassured eve upon her cirriculum...
after that...i followed the girls to arab street to buy their materials...mm...never been there before..pretty interesting...wrapping papers there are selling real cheap....
went bugis for a walk...still didnt see clothes that i wan...sian...
have to go back to schl for squash in the evening...feel like crying while i was in the train heading to raffles place...dunno why...mb i'm feeling abit drained...yah think once again i feel like screaming my head off...sigh...i wanna go somewhere...a corner to hide so that no one can find me...
need to bathe...feel so unhealthy...had my dinner at 10...fat ass....
went to visit eve today after ee zu let us off...so poor thing...worried for her man...
but she seemed quite alright...was sleeping soundly when we visited her...bought her a small little balloon..haha hopefully it cheered her up...at least she is still joking with us when we're there...
surprisingly...hua beng appeared too...juz when we were speculating whether he'll coms visit eve...he appeared at the door...wah not bad to have such nice lecturer...haha...really nice of him to pay a visit..at least he reassured eve upon her cirriculum...
after that...i followed the girls to arab street to buy their materials...mm...never been there before..pretty interesting...wrapping papers there are selling real cheap....
went bugis for a walk...still didnt see clothes that i wan...sian...
have to go back to schl for squash in the evening...feel like crying while i was in the train heading to raffles place...dunno why...mb i'm feeling abit drained...yah think once again i feel like screaming my head off...sigh...i wanna go somewhere...a corner to hide so that no one can find me...
need to bathe...feel so unhealthy...had my dinner at 10...fat ass....
Monday, January 31, 2005
yeah...got home early today...considered early cos sun hasn't set yet mah...plus i usually reach home at night...at least i get to have dinner with ma and pa...
dun feel like doing anything..so come here and write something...
actually nothing much...feeling tired as always...am always sleepy despite the no. of hours that i sleep...mb it's time to take some supplements...sickening i'm reaching 23 and my body is like an old woman
quite happy yesterday...cos get to have dinner out with my whole family...when i say whole family it means bro, sis-in-law plus my parents...of cos that inculde the little baby in my sis-in-law's stomach...it's been a loooong time since we dine out together...usually we eat at home...but i've always like to have dine out...change of environment and mum dun need to cook...dad dun need to wash dishes...haha...
am happy that ppl around me are happy...=)
lately i discovered that my neighbour is actually a possessive dog owner...perhaps she's emotionally unstable...cos she has juz given birth...haha
anyway there was this morning i was playing with her cute little doggy at her gate...she gave me a black face and asked me "yes?" in a u-touch-my-dog-and-u-die kinda tone....i'm like "huh?"
do i need a reason for playing with ur doggy??...isn't it a compliment that someone else find ur dog cute and wanna play with it....o well i tot it was me...mb my face provoked her...but apparently my sis-in-law got it from her too...so yah i think she juz doesnt like ppl to touch her dog...but her doggy is so cute...and whenever i get out of my house every morning...its eyes and waggy tail keep luring me to play with her/him(eh i dunno the sex of the doggy...anyway doesn't matter)...all i can do each time i see it, is to say hi, hello...and it will tilt its head and wag its tail as though it understands wat i'm saying...haha...mb i'm imagining it...but yah that dog is really cute...
too bad lo...can't play with it...
ppl if u ever own a dog...pls be generous enough to let others play with it...i mean...it's nice to see other ppl patting and finding ur pet cute isn't it? why deprive ur pet from human interactions...
i wanna keep dog...arh....labrador or bull terrier...dog dog dog...
anyway it's dinner time...ciao~
dun feel like doing anything..so come here and write something...
actually nothing much...feeling tired as always...am always sleepy despite the no. of hours that i sleep...mb it's time to take some supplements...sickening i'm reaching 23 and my body is like an old woman
quite happy yesterday...cos get to have dinner out with my whole family...when i say whole family it means bro, sis-in-law plus my parents...of cos that inculde the little baby in my sis-in-law's stomach...it's been a loooong time since we dine out together...usually we eat at home...but i've always like to have dine out...change of environment and mum dun need to cook...dad dun need to wash dishes...haha...
am happy that ppl around me are happy...=)
lately i discovered that my neighbour is actually a possessive dog owner...perhaps she's emotionally unstable...cos she has juz given birth...haha
anyway there was this morning i was playing with her cute little doggy at her gate...she gave me a black face and asked me "yes?" in a u-touch-my-dog-and-u-die kinda tone....i'm like "huh?"
do i need a reason for playing with ur doggy??...isn't it a compliment that someone else find ur dog cute and wanna play with it....o well i tot it was me...mb my face provoked her...but apparently my sis-in-law got it from her too...so yah i think she juz doesnt like ppl to touch her dog...but her doggy is so cute...and whenever i get out of my house every morning...its eyes and waggy tail keep luring me to play with her/him(eh i dunno the sex of the doggy...anyway doesn't matter)...all i can do each time i see it, is to say hi, hello...and it will tilt its head and wag its tail as though it understands wat i'm saying...haha...mb i'm imagining it...but yah that dog is really cute...
too bad lo...can't play with it...
ppl if u ever own a dog...pls be generous enough to let others play with it...i mean...it's nice to see other ppl patting and finding ur pet cute isn't it? why deprive ur pet from human interactions...
i wanna keep dog...arh....labrador or bull terrier...dog dog dog...
anyway it's dinner time...ciao~
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Hotel Rwanda
great show i've watched today...so glad i've caught it...pretty shocked by the movie....cos ignorant ppl like me only know that many many innocent ppl were killed during the Rwanda massacre....i have absolutely no idea the situation that was going on in the country and what the ppl had to go thru during that period of time.
life...so vulnerable...
discrimnation....damn powerful weapon to gun ppl down....arent i glad to stay in s'pore where different races can live in harmony....eh seriously, i cringed at the sight of those killing scenes...it's juz a movie no doubt but it's based on true story.....the idea of ripping off one's life juz becos of their skin colour or the tribe they belong to simply make no sense to me...perhaps suppression does play a part...perhaps human beings are made to be vindictive...i dunnoe...juz feel sad to see that such killings had happened and that it is still happening in other parts of the world....
genocide...blood shed and lives taken can never be justified...
seldom do i tear when i watched movie...but this one did...cos i cant imagine myself living in fear all the time...being abandoned by ppl u think u could trust...most of all being completely helpless....i tot city of god is bloody enough...mm think this is worst......watch it yah...worth ur time and money....
okie i need sleep...nite ppl....maybe i'll type more tomolo...tata
life...so vulnerable...
discrimnation....damn powerful weapon to gun ppl down....arent i glad to stay in s'pore where different races can live in harmony....eh seriously, i cringed at the sight of those killing scenes...it's juz a movie no doubt but it's based on true story.....the idea of ripping off one's life juz becos of their skin colour or the tribe they belong to simply make no sense to me...perhaps suppression does play a part...perhaps human beings are made to be vindictive...i dunnoe...juz feel sad to see that such killings had happened and that it is still happening in other parts of the world....
genocide...blood shed and lives taken can never be justified...
seldom do i tear when i watched movie...but this one did...cos i cant imagine myself living in fear all the time...being abandoned by ppl u think u could trust...most of all being completely helpless....i tot city of god is bloody enough...mm think this is worst......watch it yah...worth ur time and money....
okie i need sleep...nite ppl....maybe i'll type more tomolo...tata
Thursday, January 27, 2005
i do care....
i'm not the sort that know how to put across my thoughts to others...i dunno why....i juz dunno how
ppl around me are changing and it is always the hardest thing that i have to come to terms with....i love them dearly...really..... and i know that being a true friend i should point out their mistakes and pull them back when they fall....
but i juz dunno how....i dunno how to tell them that they've changed...that they're no longer their old selves...i'm not expecting them to stay the same....things are always changing...so am i...point is i juz dunno how to react to their changes....all i know....is to be by them and with them through the changing process....it may be tough no doubt....but that's all i know i can do...
i dun care to wat extend they've changed or will change...i juz know i can't give up the friendship...i really can't...after all these years...they are too dear for me to let go...i always tell myself no matter how tough it is it's okie...so long i'm with them...i think i sound like a silly woman here trying to make some sense out of her own thoughts...
super duper tired now...cos had squash training yesterday and today.....sometimes i wonder if i ever will be a better player...cos i'm always so slow in reaction...my squash mate has been so encouraging...she keeps reminding me to run for the ball...haha appreciate that...seriously i like her attitude...get me going too...thanx alot yah...hee....
today had a fun lesson...line dancing and cooking too..for my group we made salad....nice looking and delicious one...luckily the homey lemon dressing works...was afraid ppl will find it too sour...anyway we all had a great eating session with my mentor...we ended up chatting with her about backpacking experience and her oncoming trip....gotten some tips from her....envious that she gets to travel and see the world...would love to do that someday...
hai~ she's leaving us at the end of this semester....so sad...i tot she'll see us thru our 3rd year...somehow among the lecturers...she's one of the more easy going ones....gonna miss her...appreciated her presence during my attachment...guided me quite abit in handling pts....
btw...my aunt called my mum yesterday...cos my cousin told her i have a malay boyfriend...and she actually told mum to talk me out of it...reason being there's religion issues being involved and that malays tend to have many wives....-_-'' i nearly flipped...she being more educated than my mum actually said that malays tend to have many wives....pretty funny...i know she cares about me...but sometimes things she says can really be abit weird...
anyway was talking about it with mummy....my parents are pretty open minded with my relationship...they may be old but they're able to accept my choices....mum did ask me...why of all guys i know i actually choose to be with mr H...haha...as in how come dun choose chinese choose malay....i only shrugged my shoulders and told her things juz happen and that i'm happy with present situation...not sure if she understands but i juz wanna lead my life the way i want and be happy with it....is it too much to ask for?
mr H~ pls dun be offended by wat my aunt said eh...she didnt mean it...wanted to talk to u about it last nite...but was too tired....will talk to u again...
gtg....seriously...i'm drained...energy low...need zzz....soon....nite everyone.....
ppl around me are changing and it is always the hardest thing that i have to come to terms with....i love them dearly...really..... and i know that being a true friend i should point out their mistakes and pull them back when they fall....
but i juz dunno how....i dunno how to tell them that they've changed...that they're no longer their old selves...i'm not expecting them to stay the same....things are always changing...so am i...point is i juz dunno how to react to their changes....all i know....is to be by them and with them through the changing process....it may be tough no doubt....but that's all i know i can do...
i dun care to wat extend they've changed or will change...i juz know i can't give up the friendship...i really can't...after all these years...they are too dear for me to let go...i always tell myself no matter how tough it is it's okie...so long i'm with them...i think i sound like a silly woman here trying to make some sense out of her own thoughts...
super duper tired now...cos had squash training yesterday and today.....sometimes i wonder if i ever will be a better player...cos i'm always so slow in reaction...my squash mate has been so encouraging...she keeps reminding me to run for the ball...haha appreciate that...seriously i like her attitude...get me going too...thanx alot yah...hee....
today had a fun lesson...line dancing and cooking too..for my group we made salad....nice looking and delicious one...luckily the homey lemon dressing works...was afraid ppl will find it too sour...anyway we all had a great eating session with my mentor...we ended up chatting with her about backpacking experience and her oncoming trip....gotten some tips from her....envious that she gets to travel and see the world...would love to do that someday...
hai~ she's leaving us at the end of this semester....so sad...i tot she'll see us thru our 3rd year...somehow among the lecturers...she's one of the more easy going ones....gonna miss her...appreciated her presence during my attachment...guided me quite abit in handling pts....
btw...my aunt called my mum yesterday...cos my cousin told her i have a malay boyfriend...and she actually told mum to talk me out of it...reason being there's religion issues being involved and that malays tend to have many wives....-_-'' i nearly flipped...she being more educated than my mum actually said that malays tend to have many wives....pretty funny...i know she cares about me...but sometimes things she says can really be abit weird...
anyway was talking about it with mummy....my parents are pretty open minded with my relationship...they may be old but they're able to accept my choices....mum did ask me...why of all guys i know i actually choose to be with mr H...haha...as in how come dun choose chinese choose malay....i only shrugged my shoulders and told her things juz happen and that i'm happy with present situation...not sure if she understands but i juz wanna lead my life the way i want and be happy with it....is it too much to ask for?
mr H~ pls dun be offended by wat my aunt said eh...she didnt mean it...wanted to talk to u about it last nite...but was too tired....will talk to u again...
gtg....seriously...i'm drained...energy low...need zzz....soon....nite everyone.....
Sunday, January 23, 2005
bumming around...
was dragging myself to go squash today...cos was feeling moody...think cos period coming and yah... right now am one red blooded woman....not that i fancy period...am juz happy that i dun have to go thru that emotional swings again...can u imagine...u're not upset but yet u feel so...all becos of estrogen making u to behave so...~sigh~
anyway didnt regret going for squash...cos it turn out to be fun as usual....haha...the scene of us cleaning the blood stains together in the squash court...mm...it's quite heartwarming...esp the two juniors who helped out on their own....mm...so good...=) ...and of cos my fellow squash mates as well...hehe
okie kendo ppl are nice...at least they offered to clean the bloodstains...not as bad as i tot they are...okie lah shant find fault with them...so long they keep the squash courts in good conditions...shall work things out with them...at the very least the authorithy wont find excuses of courts not being fully utilised...
bathed in schl with the gals after squash and then went to meet mr H for dinner
was at orchard....went for coffee at forum starbucks...always like to laze around there, drinking my usual....observing ppl and have my chit-chatting session...
we were basically juz looking at ppl and cars that went by....poking fun at how weird some ppl can dress and going googar over gorgeous cars....quite fun....haha...went tanglin for dinner....super quiet...unlike orchard that is packed with ppl...sat at the eating place reading magazines after we're done with our food...nice...juz like that noon where we sat at coffee club reading papers...rem? hehe...
ooo we saw kegan kang too...with this loud spoken lady...basically i can only hear the lady's voice most of the time...she really talks abit too loudly...cos i cant hear kegan kang's voice at all though his mouth is moving....
something i wanna put down...sorta a continual from yesterday's blog....
how weird...guys' perception of pretty gals always differ from that of ours....rarely do we see eye to eye upon issues esp on the topic of beauty....mb that's why we can never understand each other totally...cos the way we view things around us is from totally different angles...mb that's why man is from mars and woman from venus? haha...
anyway didnt regret going for squash...cos it turn out to be fun as usual....haha...the scene of us cleaning the blood stains together in the squash court...mm...it's quite heartwarming...esp the two juniors who helped out on their own....mm...so good...=) ...and of cos my fellow squash mates as well...hehe
okie kendo ppl are nice...at least they offered to clean the bloodstains...not as bad as i tot they are...okie lah shant find fault with them...so long they keep the squash courts in good conditions...shall work things out with them...at the very least the authorithy wont find excuses of courts not being fully utilised...
bathed in schl with the gals after squash and then went to meet mr H for dinner
was at orchard....went for coffee at forum starbucks...always like to laze around there, drinking my usual....observing ppl and have my chit-chatting session...
we were basically juz looking at ppl and cars that went by....poking fun at how weird some ppl can dress and going googar over gorgeous cars....quite fun....haha...went tanglin for dinner....super quiet...unlike orchard that is packed with ppl...sat at the eating place reading magazines after we're done with our food...nice...juz like that noon where we sat at coffee club reading papers...rem? hehe...
ooo we saw kegan kang too...with this loud spoken lady...basically i can only hear the lady's voice most of the time...she really talks abit too loudly...cos i cant hear kegan kang's voice at all though his mouth is moving....
something i wanna put down...sorta a continual from yesterday's blog....
how weird...guys' perception of pretty gals always differ from that of ours....rarely do we see eye to eye upon issues esp on the topic of beauty....mb that's why we can never understand each other totally...cos the way we view things around us is from totally different angles...mb that's why man is from mars and woman from venus? haha...
i ate from morning till nite!
havent been blogging for weeks!!! stupid com crash on me..and now cos of the stupid horse virus i have to reformat again soon...
busy life busy me....busy with schl work, busy with squash and of cos busy with my mr H...yah yah...am attached...not something new cos those who always read my blog should know it by now...have training 5 days a week for squash...need to make schedule with my committee...must take turns to rest if not sure burn out...
wanna talk about wat i did yesterday....muah haha...such a glutton...i practically ate from morning till nite...from home to outside....
morning~ woke up at 10...such a luxury....had bread and water...
noon~ mommy cooked chilly crab!!! was just telling nikki the other day that i missed mummy's cooking and that the crabs she cooked is the best ever....and today she really cooked it!!! so happy...ate some before i went out to meet my frens...very contended le....
noon noon~~met up with yk and yd...woo hoo....went to eat at robertson quay....yk brought us to this jap restuarant to eat....really nice and cosy place...filled with japanese ppl and japanese books....food there is superb...desserts too...really nice place to hang out...yk...not that i didnt trust u...i really am too lazy to search for the place myself...haha...
we hang out at the place fro 2 to 530....ordered 3 different dishes...curry rice and ramen of different soup base....wanted to taste different dishes so we end up rotating our food to each other...abit unglam...but who cares...haha...desserts are good...cos it's not the sort that u get to eat outside...really jap jap kinda stuff....yum yum
talked about man and woman...why is it so hard for one spiece to understand the other...how come there's actually books like: man from mars, woman from venus, being published. Talked about sigmund freud and one of his theories....talked about self centredness...interesting topics to chat...and we had so much fun trying to understand wat each other is trying to convey on the ideas we have...i also tried very hard to make out wat yk was saying...cos this chap kept mumbling when he's in the restaurant...all becos it's a jap place and jap ppl are soft spoken...-_- wah liao....first time seeing him to 'gentle' -_-''....
really nice to hang out with old frens...not walking around but to juz sit...talk and catch with each other...love it....
evening~ went suntec with yd...shopping...nothing much le...cos i dunno wat to buy for new year...zero ideas on wat to wear...sian...still i bought a top and a panty from bodynits...muah haha...
yan met up with us then...and u know wat...it's eating time again...went mache and we oredered tonnes of food...calamari, mixed veg, rosti, crepes, fish and chips...cant believe i ate so much...really too much...never spend my day out eating from noon till nite...never tried that before...agrh...so fat...it's either my period coming or i have been exercising too much...haha...
sickening...hormones seems to be fluctuating lately...think it's the medication...why am i a woman...have to go thru so much trouble...period didnt come i feel abnormal...when it comes i feel sian...and now i have to be on medication to make sure it's regular...so much disadvantages biologically...ppl have to be worried about me....questioning me if things are okie...concern concern...i know...hai yah see..i'm blabbering rubbish...
gtg for squash...will try to write as frequent as possible...
busy life busy me....busy with schl work, busy with squash and of cos busy with my mr H...yah yah...am attached...not something new cos those who always read my blog should know it by now...have training 5 days a week for squash...need to make schedule with my committee...must take turns to rest if not sure burn out...
wanna talk about wat i did yesterday....muah haha...such a glutton...i practically ate from morning till nite...from home to outside....
morning~ woke up at 10...such a luxury....had bread and water...
noon~ mommy cooked chilly crab!!! was just telling nikki the other day that i missed mummy's cooking and that the crabs she cooked is the best ever....and today she really cooked it!!! so happy...ate some before i went out to meet my frens...very contended le....
noon noon~~met up with yk and yd...woo hoo....went to eat at robertson quay....yk brought us to this jap restuarant to eat....really nice and cosy place...filled with japanese ppl and japanese books....food there is superb...desserts too...really nice place to hang out...yk...not that i didnt trust u...i really am too lazy to search for the place myself...haha...
we hang out at the place fro 2 to 530....ordered 3 different dishes...curry rice and ramen of different soup base....wanted to taste different dishes so we end up rotating our food to each other...abit unglam...but who cares...haha...desserts are good...cos it's not the sort that u get to eat outside...really jap jap kinda stuff....yum yum
talked about man and woman...why is it so hard for one spiece to understand the other...how come there's actually books like: man from mars, woman from venus, being published. Talked about sigmund freud and one of his theories....talked about self centredness...interesting topics to chat...and we had so much fun trying to understand wat each other is trying to convey on the ideas we have...i also tried very hard to make out wat yk was saying...cos this chap kept mumbling when he's in the restaurant...all becos it's a jap place and jap ppl are soft spoken...-_- wah liao....first time seeing him to 'gentle' -_-''....
really nice to hang out with old frens...not walking around but to juz sit...talk and catch with each other...love it....
evening~ went suntec with yd...shopping...nothing much le...cos i dunno wat to buy for new year...zero ideas on wat to wear...sian...still i bought a top and a panty from bodynits...muah haha...
yan met up with us then...and u know wat...it's eating time again...went mache and we oredered tonnes of food...calamari, mixed veg, rosti, crepes, fish and chips...cant believe i ate so much...really too much...never spend my day out eating from noon till nite...never tried that before...agrh...so fat...it's either my period coming or i have been exercising too much...haha...
sickening...hormones seems to be fluctuating lately...think it's the medication...why am i a woman...have to go thru so much trouble...period didnt come i feel abnormal...when it comes i feel sian...and now i have to be on medication to make sure it's regular...so much disadvantages biologically...ppl have to be worried about me....questioning me if things are okie...concern concern...i know...hai yah see..i'm blabbering rubbish...
gtg for squash...will try to write as frequent as possible...
Monday, January 03, 2005
tomatoes!!!
muah haha....4 beauties' cherry tomatoe plant has blossomed!!! wah haha....the fact that i can actually taste the fruit makes me so happy...cos as u know watever i have planted have all died eventually...so now only left this cherry tomatoes that i shared with my classmates....luckily there's hydoponics...if not i think the plant will die under my hands too...keke...the tomatoes are sweet and juicy...if there are more, mb can let u guys try yah...
schl started in a glimpse man...one moment i'm stress with attachment and the next i'm back to schl again...then two months later i'm back to attachment again...o my...so fast so fast...this sem is gonna be tough...schl work, attachment, squash....think i'll be stretched among these stuffs...esp trainings....i hope i can pull thru it and not get burn out...erm but then i've been feeling sleepy easily...think it's age thingy arh...o no...
was discussing about club stuff juz now...abit worried cos i realise there's so much i need to look into and we are not very much supported by the schl...hai~
anyway this sem got alot of fun things going on...cos i'm actually learning cooking...-_-'' if my classmates get diarrhea pls dun blame me...cos i think the food i cook can only be fit for my stomach....haha...seriously i think so...except for baking lah...but that is if little cheif is baking with me...anyway i'll try my best to balance btw schl work and cca....i cant afford history to repeat...let's juz say i'll die die make sure i'll make it thru...
guys...havent met up since x'mas...will see u all on sat k...i try not to be late...hehe
stress is building up for u...i dunno wat i can do to help...but hang in there k...at the most we suffer together...haha...think i'll be stress too...see u in schl yah...=)
schl started in a glimpse man...one moment i'm stress with attachment and the next i'm back to schl again...then two months later i'm back to attachment again...o my...so fast so fast...this sem is gonna be tough...schl work, attachment, squash....think i'll be stretched among these stuffs...esp trainings....i hope i can pull thru it and not get burn out...erm but then i've been feeling sleepy easily...think it's age thingy arh...o no...
was discussing about club stuff juz now...abit worried cos i realise there's so much i need to look into and we are not very much supported by the schl...hai~
anyway this sem got alot of fun things going on...cos i'm actually learning cooking...-_-'' if my classmates get diarrhea pls dun blame me...cos i think the food i cook can only be fit for my stomach....haha...seriously i think so...except for baking lah...but that is if little cheif is baking with me...anyway i'll try my best to balance btw schl work and cca....i cant afford history to repeat...let's juz say i'll die die make sure i'll make it thru...
guys...havent met up since x'mas...will see u all on sat k...i try not to be late...hehe
stress is building up for u...i dunno wat i can do to help...but hang in there k...at the most we suffer together...haha...think i'll be stress too...see u in schl yah...=)
Thursday, December 23, 2004
tired...
yah time flies...i'm already in my 3rd week of attachment...mm...pretty worn out...but getting in tune with pts and hospital setting...sadly some of my pts are leaving...which is good cos ultimately they should go home...but i think i'm gonna miss them...although most of them gimme a huge headache when i assess them...haha...
put on weight man...sickening...feel fat and am fat...ugrh...havent gone for training for very long le...argh...i have two huge brusies on my thighs...mm how to wear my short skirt like that...hai yo...one's turning black while the other turning red...how nice...like christmas colour...
eyes gonna close soon man...cant wait for weekend to come...cos i can have fun and hang out with my beloved frens and U! this year's christmas...cant appreciate it more...cos i really need to rest...sleep and not do anything...haha...lazy bum eh...cant wait cant wait...=p
gtg...taking a nap then will plan for tomolo's treatment...jia you yj...-_-
put on weight man...sickening...feel fat and am fat...ugrh...havent gone for training for very long le...argh...i have two huge brusies on my thighs...mm how to wear my short skirt like that...hai yo...one's turning black while the other turning red...how nice...like christmas colour...
eyes gonna close soon man...cant wait for weekend to come...cos i can have fun and hang out with my beloved frens and U! this year's christmas...cant appreciate it more...cos i really need to rest...sleep and not do anything...haha...lazy bum eh...cant wait cant wait...=p
gtg...taking a nap then will plan for tomolo's treatment...jia you yj...-_-
Monday, December 20, 2004
not again...
affected...
all be cos i've been hanging out late during fri and sat nite you assume that i am not putting enough effort on my studies...you said you dun wanna see me repeating my course or not being able to graduate...yah one bad fall and i'm marked dead on that forever...such a failure...ugrh...i know you care but must you always say things like that...
anyway drop tat subj...happy annoucement...i'm gonna be an aunt soon! haha...5 weeks preagnant...i mean my sis-in-law...so exciting!! can't wait man...
hop to another subj...had fun at the bbq last nite...nice to meet up with my click and chit chat...haha lotsa stuff to catch up...oooo juicy news flying around...haha...really have to thank sze for organising this bbq...=)
thanx for accompanying me last nite...sorry arh end up u have to go home while i join the gals at happy days...keke...anyway see u later k...tata
all be cos i've been hanging out late during fri and sat nite you assume that i am not putting enough effort on my studies...you said you dun wanna see me repeating my course or not being able to graduate...yah one bad fall and i'm marked dead on that forever...such a failure...ugrh...i know you care but must you always say things like that...
anyway drop tat subj...happy annoucement...i'm gonna be an aunt soon! haha...5 weeks preagnant...i mean my sis-in-law...so exciting!! can't wait man...
hop to another subj...had fun at the bbq last nite...nice to meet up with my click and chit chat...haha lotsa stuff to catch up...oooo juicy news flying around...haha...really have to thank sze for organising this bbq...=)
thanx for accompanying me last nite...sorry arh end up u have to go home while i join the gals at happy days...keke...anyway see u later k...tata
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