I read the email, I saw the timetable like many times but I still manage to get it mixed up! Ugrh...darn pissed with myself. First day of school and I already sorta screw up...peee weee...I'm the ultimate blur queen...
So I travelled from home to Clementi then Clementi back to clinic...all in the time span of 45 min...
I need to wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd"
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
And so...
Michael Jackson passed away...what a pity...his last concert would have been awesome...and now, he is free from the ridicule that others placed on him, free from the worry of his finances and free from the fear of not being perfect outside in...
This week...
Home alone 2 started on Wednesday...why 2? Cos I had Home alone 1 back in 2008 when I flew back from Melbourne for vacation before flying to HK to find my family.
So far I dun think I have spent more than 12 hours at home except today...morning I would be out for work, evening out for dinner with friends then home at night to bathe and sleep...
Headaches been my pretty close friend lately...perhaps not enough rest...stress and headache dun go well...I can forsee myself struggling alittle more in month of July...all the handover, adjustment to make before getting the breather in August...sigh...die die DIE...
I took the longest nap ever...it was supposed to be good until I had the dream...
I rather dream about fen...miss her...and her sms always cheer me up!
This week...
Home alone 2 started on Wednesday...why 2? Cos I had Home alone 1 back in 2008 when I flew back from Melbourne for vacation before flying to HK to find my family.
So far I dun think I have spent more than 12 hours at home except today...morning I would be out for work, evening out for dinner with friends then home at night to bathe and sleep...
Headaches been my pretty close friend lately...perhaps not enough rest...stress and headache dun go well...I can forsee myself struggling alittle more in month of July...all the handover, adjustment to make before getting the breather in August...sigh...die die DIE...
I took the longest nap ever...it was supposed to be good until I had the dream...
I rather dream about fen...miss her...and her sms always cheer me up!
Monday, June 22, 2009
I quit...
You are always free during weekdays after work and you work in the city...
I work in Jurong...go city very troublesome...so next time you come Jurong to meet okie...
Pissed.to.the.max.
I did try to arrange to meet up in the past...when I was free, you weren't...when you are free, I ain't...so what you want me to do? I aint complaining about it...why should you?
Just becos I used to be nice...just becos I work in city...just becos my work involves dealing with kids...
Everything is deemed easy for me...
I have been feeling stressed...being awake way before alarm time is bad enough, sleeping/waking up with the feeling of stress regarding work is bad enough...dreaming about banker and having to push those thoughts away to focus on work is bad enough...facing my mistakes and not to feel guilty on the daily basis is bad enough...
what more do you want from me?!
I work in Jurong...go city very troublesome...so next time you come Jurong to meet okie...
Pissed.to.the.max.
I did try to arrange to meet up in the past...when I was free, you weren't...when you are free, I ain't...so what you want me to do? I aint complaining about it...why should you?
Just becos I used to be nice...just becos I work in city...just becos my work involves dealing with kids...
Everything is deemed easy for me...
I have been feeling stressed...being awake way before alarm time is bad enough, sleeping/waking up with the feeling of stress regarding work is bad enough...dreaming about banker and having to push those thoughts away to focus on work is bad enough...facing my mistakes and not to feel guilty on the daily basis is bad enough...
what more do you want from me?!
I have always thought it was pretty hard to find a teardrop shape pendent BUT....hey...I have just found this lovely teardrop shape pendent from the Tiffany & Co website! Not crystal nor diamond but just a simple silver one which I can wear it with me all the time.
It is so pretty looking...
And then it hit me, how much bullshit it was when I was told it aint easy to locate one...hmm....
It is so pretty looking...
And then it hit me, how much bullshit it was when I was told it aint easy to locate one...hmm....
Sunday, June 21, 2009
snippets of life...
Deforestation happened last Friday...finally I got down to make the appointment and do something about it...
I realised I can be distracted so easily. I think it would have hurt so much more, should I not used the handphone to bring myself away from the task. The count-down and anticipation would have brought on so much more pain! Not to mention the slight bleeding due to dryness of the skin. Anyway, deed was done and I am a happy customer.
Went to seletar airbase for the baffalo wings and other food. It was a nice place to hang out and great fun that yd's mom could join us. We got back to our guitar hero last night! Hilarious night with new people joining us in the chase of beats. Not to mention we have found a new female drummer who has much better rhythm than most of us!
Watching 'Frida' now. Have always wanted to catch it. I think quite a number of scenes were cut. So dampening to the mood. Her drawings were...interestingly weird. And so were her relationships.
Mizuno run was pretty much done...so what's next? POSB run? Army run? Stand Chart run?
I realised I can be distracted so easily. I think it would have hurt so much more, should I not used the handphone to bring myself away from the task. The count-down and anticipation would have brought on so much more pain! Not to mention the slight bleeding due to dryness of the skin. Anyway, deed was done and I am a happy customer.
Went to seletar airbase for the baffalo wings and other food. It was a nice place to hang out and great fun that yd's mom could join us. We got back to our guitar hero last night! Hilarious night with new people joining us in the chase of beats. Not to mention we have found a new female drummer who has much better rhythm than most of us!
Watching 'Frida' now. Have always wanted to catch it. I think quite a number of scenes were cut. So dampening to the mood. Her drawings were...interestingly weird. And so were her relationships.
Mizuno run was pretty much done...so what's next? POSB run? Army run? Stand Chart run?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Long way to happy
One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
Do you know I had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way
Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottem of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
I seriously dun mind being home alone for the next half a year. Eventually I will live on my own. Just afraid that I will some how spiral downwards again and plunge into that black hole once more, unable to get up.
Perhaps then I should get into the regime of running every night...at least I guess the dreams that happened ever so often will cease completely...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Out..
I met the two of you about the same time 3 years ago...
Little did I know, you have such common grounds with him...
Haven't we always been friends? There wasn't much contact in between cos of the things that happened and eventually you were with someone else while I was with him. Now, you are with another person while I'm on my own.
Like him, you appeared intermittently in my life. Like him, you tried to put me in the exact same position. Haven't you heard, Jayna is still under construction...healing in progress...
I'm human, I have feelings. I'm the youngest child and one thing for sure, I really hate to share.
Let me do the nasty job here. I'll draw the line. Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean you can use me as a tool.
You want company, go look for your girlfriend. You want company, go look for your wife.
Like him, I'm striking your name out. Both of you.
Little did I know, you have such common grounds with him...
Haven't we always been friends? There wasn't much contact in between cos of the things that happened and eventually you were with someone else while I was with him. Now, you are with another person while I'm on my own.
Like him, you appeared intermittently in my life. Like him, you tried to put me in the exact same position. Haven't you heard, Jayna is still under construction...healing in progress...
I'm human, I have feelings. I'm the youngest child and one thing for sure, I really hate to share.
Let me do the nasty job here. I'll draw the line. Just because I'm nice to you, doesn't mean you can use me as a tool.
You want company, go look for your girlfriend. You want company, go look for your wife.
Like him, I'm striking your name out. Both of you.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
sigh....
First day of using a replacement phone. Felt like an idiot but getting the hang of it now. What can I say, I think Samsung phone is still as user friendly as it used to be.
Funny thing was, some msges and phone no. popped out. I've long deleted them, non-existence in my Nokie phone. Looking at the dates, I think they came through while I was still using my Soul phone. I can't say I aint affected by them.
O well, just another round of deletion to make...
Funny thing was, some msges and phone no. popped out. I've long deleted them, non-existence in my Nokie phone. Looking at the dates, I think they came through while I was still using my Soul phone. I can't say I aint affected by them.
O well, just another round of deletion to make...
Fen's advanture + my rantings
Totally excited for you! Now you should be either watching those in-flight movies or simply dozing off from the lack of sleep...
Am so excited for you...envious at the same time that you're exploring New Zealand on your own...without me...boo hoo...
I guess as we grow older, it becomes harder for us to wanna choose going on this kind of work and travel trip. So I'm really glad that you get to do it! I shall wait patiently for six months for you to come back home and tell me all the interesting encounters that you'll have...
O wait...you can tell me when we are in Melbourne end of this year!! woo hoo! Totally looking forward to that!
On second note, I love not having to work on Mondays...dun be envious okie...missy here works full day on Saturday, so this is my deserved rest day!
Just when I'm falling in love with E71...it's having this overheating problem...bringing it for service tomorrow...yd darling...thank you so much for lending me your phone...will return you once i gotten back mine...will send it back to ur house too so that your mama can get to see me more often...haha...perhaps I should rekindle my craze for guitar hero...
Mizuno run pack sux...paid 35 bucks and all it has to offer is this fulgy green singlet for running (man sizes somemore cos they ran out of 's' for female!), some vouchers, a dull waist pouch and an old SHAPE magazine that was dated March 09...I wonder if the organization bit will be as fucked up as I read from the posts by others regarding last yr's event...hope not...better not deposite bag...
I think talking and letting it out helps...although there are still days in which I felt like shit...but at least the loss that used to be so intense is slightly more manageable...
Am so excited for you...envious at the same time that you're exploring New Zealand on your own...without me...boo hoo...
I guess as we grow older, it becomes harder for us to wanna choose going on this kind of work and travel trip. So I'm really glad that you get to do it! I shall wait patiently for six months for you to come back home and tell me all the interesting encounters that you'll have...
O wait...you can tell me when we are in Melbourne end of this year!! woo hoo! Totally looking forward to that!
On second note, I love not having to work on Mondays...dun be envious okie...missy here works full day on Saturday, so this is my deserved rest day!
Just when I'm falling in love with E71...it's having this overheating problem...bringing it for service tomorrow...yd darling...thank you so much for lending me your phone...will return you once i gotten back mine...will send it back to ur house too so that your mama can get to see me more often...haha...perhaps I should rekindle my craze for guitar hero...
Mizuno run pack sux...paid 35 bucks and all it has to offer is this fulgy green singlet for running (man sizes somemore cos they ran out of 's' for female!), some vouchers, a dull waist pouch and an old SHAPE magazine that was dated March 09...I wonder if the organization bit will be as fucked up as I read from the posts by others regarding last yr's event...hope not...better not deposite bag...
I think talking and letting it out helps...although there are still days in which I felt like shit...but at least the loss that used to be so intense is slightly more manageable...
Friday, June 05, 2009
Boiling...
Can go for follow up, fly to HK and fly back here for follow up...as if...
What the fuck is wrong with everyone...I told you the consultation date. Can't you book the flights after the consultation has been done?
After putting in effort to push off the fear for the checks...now I have to deal with some more shit! Just because you are having difficulty handling the situation, your call for help has caused such dilemma...
You just want to get the flight settled aside from your work...yes...you're just following what you were told to do...yes...
But not at the expense of health...
What the fuck is wrong with everyone...I told you the consultation date. Can't you book the flights after the consultation has been done?
After putting in effort to push off the fear for the checks...now I have to deal with some more shit! Just because you are having difficulty handling the situation, your call for help has caused such dilemma...
You just want to get the flight settled aside from your work...yes...you're just following what you were told to do...yes...
But not at the expense of health...
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Sundown 2009
The overnight movie marathon was awesome! No doubt I have caught those movies before, it was still pretty fun to lie down in the open field and just relax while watching the show.
I was quite amazed that despite having a hectic schedule in the day, I was able to stay awake through the night! Yd snoozed alittle here and there (lousssssyyy =p) while I was busy munching, catching the movie and sms~ing yk mean msges to ask him to run faster...haha...
It was fun. Even with just the two of us. Even with little bit of ant bites here and there. Even with the short drizzling going on.
It amazed me how those people completed 84km ultra marathon and still could walk up the stage to receive their prizes...I mean...they ran non stop for 7-9 hours and still could walk after that...I think I would just be in total paralysis...cos I might just reach the finishing line in the Sadako method plus with massive mental breakdown due to the delusions that I have ran half of the distance but in actual fact I had just completed 4km and still have 80 km more to go!!!GASP!
I think I'll stick to half marathon for the time being. Dealing with the fact of having 17 km more to go is still more bearable...ha ha ha ha...
Btw, pretty proud of yk for completing his sundown full marathon...and watching him grimaced whenever he sat in the car, walked down flight of stairs and struggled to get out of his seat...was all...quite funny...hehe...
Photos up...when I'm not as lazy...
I was quite amazed that despite having a hectic schedule in the day, I was able to stay awake through the night! Yd snoozed alittle here and there (lousssssyyy =p) while I was busy munching, catching the movie and sms~ing yk mean msges to ask him to run faster...haha...
It was fun. Even with just the two of us. Even with little bit of ant bites here and there. Even with the short drizzling going on.
It amazed me how those people completed 84km ultra marathon and still could walk up the stage to receive their prizes...I mean...they ran non stop for 7-9 hours and still could walk after that...I think I would just be in total paralysis...cos I might just reach the finishing line in the Sadako method plus with massive mental breakdown due to the delusions that I have ran half of the distance but in actual fact I had just completed 4km and still have 80 km more to go!!!GASP!
I think I'll stick to half marathon for the time being. Dealing with the fact of having 17 km more to go is still more bearable...ha ha ha ha...
Btw, pretty proud of yk for completing his sundown full marathon...and watching him grimaced whenever he sat in the car, walked down flight of stairs and struggled to get out of his seat...was all...quite funny...hehe...
Photos up...when I'm not as lazy...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
missing...
I know I haven't been around much for you, I know I haven't been meeting up with you much either...
But I will still miss you and I will definitely miss talking to you...especially dozing off while msning with you...
I'll wait for you to be back for the Cambodia trip...to conquer Asia one by one...
Thanx for listening...I think it's like the time when I failed my A level...you dun have to hear me out but you did...
That's all I need...really...
But I will still miss you and I will definitely miss talking to you...especially dozing off while msning with you...
I'll wait for you to be back for the Cambodia trip...to conquer Asia one by one...
Thanx for listening...I think it's like the time when I failed my A level...you dun have to hear me out but you did...
That's all I need...really...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Mishap..
Wanted to be vain and put on my contact lenses, only to get my right eyeball be fucking fucking FUCKING painful! The burning sensation that I felt was so excruciating that I literally wanna dig my eyeball out for a good wash under the running water! This has never happened before! Fucking solution...argh!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
He cheered me up...
The sun arises and make happy the skies,
jealous clouds bring rain and dampen spring but have no fret,
all is not lost yet,
for the clouds will clear,
and the sun will reappear,
the birds that hid away shall come out to play and sing louder than the receding rain...
~happy bday piggy~
Thanx oki buta...thanx =)
jealous clouds bring rain and dampen spring but have no fret,
all is not lost yet,
for the clouds will clear,
and the sun will reappear,
the birds that hid away shall come out to play and sing louder than the receding rain...
~happy bday piggy~
Thanx oki buta...thanx =)
Monday, May 18, 2009
Argh!
It may be wrong but my fear of being written off someone's life is greater than fear of going to hell.
But then again, it's part and parcel of life. I should be able to get used to it. I have to get used to it.
I wish I can be vindictive enough to hate him...
But then again, it's part and parcel of life. I should be able to get used to it. I have to get used to it.
I wish I can be vindictive enough to hate him...
Birthday celebration part 7
~Martime House date~
Nice dinner with my pals...steak, escargots, calamari, salad, soup...
Wine at wine boss...
then kena dragged to 'Play' to dance...
It was a wild night...nice wild night...with crazy peeps...hehe...
What a way to wrap up my celebrations!
Nice dinner with my pals...steak, escargots, calamari, salad, soup...
Wine at wine boss...
then kena dragged to 'Play' to dance...
It was a wild night...nice wild night...with crazy peeps...hehe...
What a way to wrap up my celebrations!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Birthday celebration part 5 & 6
Part 5
Met yd in the noon to make new specs. Took awhile for me to choose and I finally decided upon these puma specs...trying to look sporty so that I'll be sporty enough to wanna exercise regularly....hahaha ~roll eyes~ who am I kidding right =p
What I love about this trip...to see yd bargain the price of my specs and his shades...see how he tehhhhhhhhh and allowed me to get that extra discount despite his own shades...hehe...thank you so much!
Following the specs making...went for rojak....coffee...chatted...met up with ck and james for dinner...they got me purple rose! teehee....
Thank you yd for the pressie...bringing me to specs shop...tehhhing for me....helping me buy t-shirt and necklace from thailand...and the purple nano!
Thank you ck and james for the rose and the purple nano!
Thank you sze, fen, choon yew, yingkai for the purple nano!
Thank you so much! I'll see you guys this sat!
Part 6
Suppose to meet Gladys and Alison for dinner...but Gladys aint feeling too up to it so I ended up having dinner with ally and her sisters...hehe...fun...
Babes...Thank you for watch and the CD! the 27 sweets and the nice nice paper bag! hehe...thank you!
Meet up soon pls!
Met yd in the noon to make new specs. Took awhile for me to choose and I finally decided upon these puma specs...trying to look sporty so that I'll be sporty enough to wanna exercise regularly....hahaha ~roll eyes~ who am I kidding right =p
What I love about this trip...to see yd bargain the price of my specs and his shades...see how he tehhhhhhhhh and allowed me to get that extra discount despite his own shades...hehe...thank you so much!
Following the specs making...went for rojak....coffee...chatted...met up with ck and james for dinner...they got me purple rose! teehee....
Thank you yd for the pressie...bringing me to specs shop...tehhhing for me....helping me buy t-shirt and necklace from thailand...and the purple nano!
Thank you ck and james for the rose and the purple nano!
Thank you sze, fen, choon yew, yingkai for the purple nano!
Thank you so much! I'll see you guys this sat!
Part 6
Suppose to meet Gladys and Alison for dinner...but Gladys aint feeling too up to it so I ended up having dinner with ally and her sisters...hehe...fun...
Babes...Thank you for watch and the CD! the 27 sweets and the nice nice paper bag! hehe...thank you!
Meet up soon pls!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Birthday celebration part 4
I promised myself not to cry starting from this month onwards but...
darn...almost teared when fen gave me the present over dinner just now...
Collection of photos of us, of ppl around me, ranging from pri schl to sec schl to jc to poly to melbourne, of my family, of my baby boys...of the love that I always have and those that has never faded a single bit...
Like what fen said, I think it's a brilliant idea to flip through it whenever I'm feeling down, to remind myself how fortunate I really and already am...
I know it's not cheap to print those photos out, to use that lau pok pen knife of yours to cut the pictures to the right size for the album, to sacrifice your sleeping time while you fight your engineer war the next day...
Thank you so much babe...
darn...almost teared when fen gave me the present over dinner just now...
Collection of photos of us, of ppl around me, ranging from pri schl to sec schl to jc to poly to melbourne, of my family, of my baby boys...of the love that I always have and those that has never faded a single bit...
Like what fen said, I think it's a brilliant idea to flip through it whenever I'm feeling down, to remind myself how fortunate I really and already am...
I know it's not cheap to print those photos out, to use that lau pok pen knife of yours to cut the pictures to the right size for the album, to sacrifice your sleeping time while you fight your engineer war the next day...
Thank you so much babe...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Birthday celebration part 3 - The hotel stay...
It was fun...the girls did make it all so fun by trying to blindfold me and leading me to the dinner place. Too bad, my excuse of 'dun wanna spoil my eye makeup' gave it away that we were heading to majestic bar for dinner!
It was cosy. Food, wine were good and the company was even better.
Back to the hotel room, the girls actually decorated the room with birthday banners and the little lightings! The room was alittle smaller than what we have imagined it to be. Nonetheless, it was so comforty that I was called forth to the bed almost immediately...hehe...
Hitting the purplish Barney pinata was fun and it did take quite awhile and abit more of my energy to 'break' his legs in order to release the goodies! Not to forget, the girlies were playing the famous Barney song at the background while I was waving the wooden wand like a light sabre. Darn funny moment.
Following that were drinks and yummy champange cake! Photos are with ray. I wonder when she will send them to me..hehe...
It was such a funloving, creative night and I truly feel blessed to have my squashies with me all these while.
~jessie babe...we missed you! Hope you're having fun in Africa =)
It was cosy. Food, wine were good and the company was even better.
Back to the hotel room, the girls actually decorated the room with birthday banners and the little lightings! The room was alittle smaller than what we have imagined it to be. Nonetheless, it was so comforty that I was called forth to the bed almost immediately...hehe...
Hitting the purplish Barney pinata was fun and it did take quite awhile and abit more of my energy to 'break' his legs in order to release the goodies! Not to forget, the girlies were playing the famous Barney song at the background while I was waving the wooden wand like a light sabre. Darn funny moment.
Following that were drinks and yummy champange cake! Photos are with ray. I wonder when she will send them to me..hehe...
It was such a funloving, creative night and I truly feel blessed to have my squashies with me all these while.
~jessie babe...we missed you! Hope you're having fun in Africa =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)