It's back...

I have been trying to fight it but it's back...and it's eating me up once again...It's making everything looks ugly again...

I have turned into this person who cannot let go nor look beyond what is presented...I want to let go of it and move on but I can't...I tried to move ahead, something will drag me back and I will go back to harp on it...again and again and again...and it just spirals downwards into the bottomless hole...

I am back to this insecure creature who is so unsure of herself and so lack of confidence...

Where did my self esteem go? Where did my dignity go? I feel so out of control now and it's killing me inside...

Keep things in check...

Running: 26 and 27 April...

Biennale 2011: went on Sunday with Peifen...

Dental appointment: have yet to fix, perhaps this coming Monday!

Advance theory booking: to get it done in a week's time

Keep things in check...

To apply for advance theory and secure the date - in process

To go for dental checkup - probably next Monday.

Run/jog 3x a week - started 11 April (Monday)...

Visiting Biennale - next Sunday

Cannot sleep, throat is hurting badly. Sigh.

I think I should join more activities to keep myself healthy and alert and happy. Maybe from there I will get to know more people, new people...new meaning to life perhaps...

Love spending my Sunday doing more meaningful stuffs. Meeting friends, spending more time with them, knowing that they are doing alright and coping well, makes it all worthwhile despite me being tired.

I would love to spend more time with you but I reckon, you seem to need sleep/rest more than the need to spend time with me. To keep myself happy, I pull myself out, and get myself busy.

Hate to do this but I have to constantly remind myself to be strong for myself cos no one else will and it is not any one's responsibility to do so. Even if there is this person who promises that he will be my pillar, it is only temporary. Everything will go back to square one eventually. Nothing last...I should have known...

Things to get settled...

Post the cheque - checked

Haircut and colour - checked

To apply for advance theory and secure the date - in process

To go for dental checkup - in process

Run/jog 3x a week - psyching in process

Visiting Biennale - next Sunday

Bug gage about his job status - always in process...