I feel like drinking...feeling shitty....

Yup I'm a product of freaking singapore education system(as u can see I so wanna swear the word F***...but prefer to keep my blog slightly clean from vulgarities). At this point of time I'm feeling damn shitty cos...although I managed to score pretty well for my LLD assignment, I failed the case study report with 2.5 marks from reaching the passing grade. Damn it...I struggled with revision for exam and doing this report during the study week...and my effort seem to go down the drain.
yah yah am like a baby fussing about not able to pass assignment...wat's the big deal right...anyway I always magnify my failures instead of my success...something is wrong with me...I know...but I juz hate seeing my effort turn out like ash...meaningless.

okie I dun wanna talk about it anymore...the more I complain the more I feel like swearing...
Anyway spent the whole noon at yd's hostel...seeing him learning guitar from yk was pretty entertaining cos yd was trying to get the fingering right and hearing him scream while yk tortured him by stretching his-already-distorted fingers was so funny. Haha...after the guitar cum finger torment session, 3 of us went out to watch an italian movie. On our way to town...yd irritates us with his usual out-of-tune singing and the thing that makes me wanna slap him is he kept pretending as though he is the old time qi cham chinese lady who had to sing to make a living...worst of all he pretends that the guitar is his pi pa and he keep singing the song 'tian ya~ hai jiao.....'. I'm pretty amazed by his creativity man...making use of things around him to bug ppl, sometimes really make me pengz. By the way his act of being qi cham singer is so horrendous...I told him I'll throw him money juz so he'll stop.

Talking about the movie, it's 'Facing Window'...wanna know the storyline...go find out yourself...ain't going to explain here. It's quite an interesting movie...storyline is not bad...I like how the story is being told and presented to us...direct and yet indirect in some ways. If one day you're given the chance to save ppl...would you save those ppl who had turned their back against you first or will you choose to save ur lover first? Two paths and you're at the crossjunction...which path will you take?
The old man in the movie chose to save ppl who denied his presence while his lover was taken away to the concentration camp. Choices...always difficult to make a right one...but once you made your decision, make sure you can live with it...if not you'll regret and have to suffer the consequences for the rest of your life no matter how much effort are given to made up for it.
I like the part where the Lozendo and Giovanna constantly spy on each other through their windows...lusting for each other through the frame of their own. Weird thing is when Giovanna was at Lozendo's apartment and begin to view through the window she used to look at...the views are different...meaning to her life becomes different too...perhaps that's why their affair didn't proceed. Views we see from our frame are always nicer...but if we dun see it from another angle...we will never be able to reflect upon our own lives...

Phrase that I like from the movie 'Don't be contended just because you're surviving....demand what you want in life...' Makes me wonder...cos I often think that life will be simpler and happier if I'm more easily contended with what I have...is that not true?

lazy bum...lazy pig...ice-cream ice-cream...yum yum...

haha yesterday was the most fulfiling day for me...I slacked at home totally! haha...yup...I woke up in the noon, had brunch and then started slacking...reading books from time to time...watching tv too! It's really nice to have the time to do things of my own and not bothered about homework and tests! Which reminds me...results are coming out soon...damn...abit worried.
anyway went out with mama to shop for awhile, bought a nice top...yipee! Later, mama went karaoke session, I dun see the point of going home and having dinner alone so decided to meet ck at bugis to walk walk. Went to eat spagetti at Sketches...this time round the service was rather bad...they didnt give us water...make a hungry person like me to wait for like 20 min. So can't exactly blame me for bitching them...anyway ck bitched too...haha that makes two bitches...anyway at last we had our order and with my tummy filled..we went shopping again...
Great Singapore sale is coming! sooo happy! I can stock up my clothes again...yeah!
Anyway, in the noon I was watching this documentary on the making of ice-cream and ice-cream cone...suddenly have the craving for it at 930pm....okie most of the shops were closed by then so in the end we went to hunt abit for ice-cream stalls...Finally!!managed to get ice-cream at dohby ghoat...Sooo happy! It's really yummy cos it's from gelare...eh not sure of the spelling...anyway that's not the point...point is I'm able to satisfy my craving and this can make me HAPPY!~man zu man zu man zu~
okie I sound like xiao cha bo...but I'm always like that esp when I manage to eat something I crave for...am not a food person...juz someone who can be easily contended...haha
Am reading this book call - autobiography of a schizophrenic girl, story of 'Renee'. Came across this...'The world was a moving picture, taking place without my participation'....how sad can that be when one constantly sinks in unreality and unable to make contact with the real world...many of us will say things like - how I wish I can be detached from all these cruel realities and mb those ppl who are mad are far better off than us....well well...u have no idea the constant struggles and difficulties that these so call 'mad ppl' have to go thru just to be normal like us. Not sure if I make any sense but what I wanna say is...try not to overlook things around you...not even the smallest ones...cos you don't know when you'll lose it juz like that.

back to my cozy little bedroom

Yup...I'm back from my redang trip...all chao ta and exhausted...thanx to the super long bus ride....
Anyway, have enjoyed this trip and surprisingly, I didn't miss home at all...perhaps the getaway is not long enough...mm..think it's becos of the the frens I went with...I really appreciate their company...although things did crop up and squabbling did occur, still I love travelling with them cos they made me realise how much I depend on them and how much I shouldn't depend on them.
Still..I had fun with them!
Well it's fun in the sense that I tried and I saw alot of things for the first time. First was the bus journey with super scary drivers who sped thru narrow and bumpy roads in Malaysia(seriously I dunno how they lay the roads). Second was the snorkeling trip, feeding and seeing different kind of fish that I nver would have thought will exist in this world. Third was wearing bikini and suntanning at the beautiful beautiful beach. Fourth was making 'muah chee' out of the 5 of us. Fifth was the belly button cleaning session for papa ng(it's really yucky and I admire vic for her courage to do that for her bf).
During this trip...I think I really grossed my frens out with my bad habits. What can I say...I can be as natural as possible with them and let them see the ugly side of me...like burping out loud in front of them. acting cute to get my way thru, bitching them occasionally, being lazy from time to time, changing in front of my gal and guy frens. Think apart from my family, they're the ones who see this side of me. Think I'm crossing the line...will have to try not to take them for granted...afterall they are not obliged to take such nonsense from me.
Am taking a step back to chill out and get things done alone...
brain not working now...have to go...will write more tomolo

Pissed off totally...

Tried to do something just now but it juz wont work...damn it..it's so frustrating...
Anyway had a nice dinner with pf today and guess wat...two of us wore the same colour top PLUS same coloured bra...how cool is that! Freak the hell out of us sometimes..haha..
I realise such conincidence always happen between the two of us...it's although she's my other long lost twin. Nothing needs to be said or done and....taa daa...we know what each other is thinking or we can dress exactly the similar range of clothing..
Wonder how it would be like to live with pf under the same roof...I've always wanted to do that..think it'll be fun, with all the freedom and independence that we will have. But who knows maybe at the end of the day we'll end up hating each other's bad habit and can't wait to kick each other's butt. Mmm still waiting for such a day to come...
Two more days to redang...yeah! mm..damn do I sound bimbotic...but who cares...have been using my brain for quite a while so shall let my boobs take charge for the time being...haha...
okie this bimbo need some sleep...tomolo is 'cleaning my room' day...have to clear my messy place before mama screams at me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really a gal...cos my room can be damn messy and I really hate cleaning up...

Bitter Sweet

Yeah...back from sentosa...haha gotten another set of bikini & a pair of slippers from my friends and being smacked by the second cake for this bday.
If only this year were my 21st bday...prehaps the bitterness I had about my parents won't persist from last year till now. I guess in future whenever my birthday approaches, the bitterness will come back and haunt me, reminding me of what had happened and how trival I may be to them (long story).
I do love my parents not that I dislike them simply because they did not celebrate my bday. Come on I ain't that childish. It's just that sometimes disappointment from love ones can hurt you deeper than anything else. Little gertures or casual remarks are good enough to break me into pieces...inside...
Say I'm petty or anything...either I inherited that from my dad or I juz remember unhappy things more vividly.
Hai~ I tired liao..need to sleep le...still deciding what kind of style to use for writing my blog...but then what the heck I'll juz write the way I want it...

Finally i created one....

okie at last I managed to start this blogger thingy... if not someone gonna nag at me..
Actually I wanna start on sat so that I can note down every single bit of stuff that happened at Wala Wala...but then I was too tipsy to do anything.
Frankly, this yr's celebration is far better than the one i had last yr and I have not been soooo happy for a really long time. Sat was a super duper great advance birthday celebration to me even though it's kinda impromptu! Still, I love the fun we all had and so many first time happen to me that nite haha..it's my first time having so many ppl singing bday song for me; first time I blew two cakes at the pub at the same nite; first time having a song dedicated specially to me and best of all having that cool guitarist to sing bday song for me again at the end of the whole session ~melt~
Haha but of cos I can't thank my friends enough for making such a memorable nite for me...and giving my bites that leave me with bruises on my arm and thigh...haha thanx ah...
Anyway I'll type more after I come back from Sentosa...meanwhile juz wait for my next entry...