I blew up...once again...
I'm tired...my immune system has been pretty down...
I did not expect myself to blow over your casual comments but I did...
I know you didn't mean it but it still hurt to hear it albeit not directly to me...
I do try to help...maybe in your eyes it is ultimately not substantially enough...
Work...come back home...play with kitty...bring her downstairs so that I can relieve you guys for awhile...by the time all has been done, it will be late...I will be drained...
Reports piling up...so I try to do as much at night...
I feel like a single mom...I am tired...
Maybe it was not your remark that upset me...just that it triggered everything and I could not hold it anymore...
I think I have not cried like that since I broke up with banker...and it continued till sat and sun nights...so silly right...
To me, it's like a slap in the face, nothing I do is good enough...
Sometimes I ask myself, why do I try so hard?
2 comments:
we try very hard because we love..
don't forget the love
hugz
I think I know how you feel, even if I am still 16. I get those feelings about school all the time. The homework is piled on (this a college private high-school, so it's tough), and I get behind and think what's the point, I'll get a crummy grade anyhow. Then in life, it seems like nothing I do is good enough for my parents, and mostly me. I get mad at me the most. Really ticked off. The thing I have to keep in mind, my full potential. I am often guilty of trashing that, and just saying "who cares?" For me it's my Grandparents, they keep me from doing myself in when I get discouraged and whatever. Obviously I am coming from a totally different standpoint, but perhaps think about what a good friend or relative knows you can be. Think of past conversations and stuff like that. A lot of times I find that having a really good friend to dump all my problems on is helpful, it somehow gets hashed out if it's not a pity-party. I like having a plan, a overly detailed one that says where I am trying to head, and how I plan on getting there. IDK, just my ramblings.
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