It's been awhile since I last wrote an entry. Busy and exhausted from work most of the time. Starting to feel less enthusiastic about work, which I dun know why. I dun loathe my work, I just feel tired so easily and so constantly.

Weekdays are mostly spent on work while weekends with the families. I didn't know running to and fro both sides of the families over the weekends can be this tiring. Perhaps too many things on my plate and I have not been juggling things very well.

I didn't realize my lack of participation would be deemed as not being interested in my friends' lives. It's not that I treat them any less or that they are any less important to me. Seriously it's not that. So when I was told that I dun seem to be putting in effort in the friendship anymore, it was like a slap in my face. I'm not sure if it is the case of me taking initiative in the past, organizing this and that; making alterations for everyone and everything but myself, that I become worn out and I started to just let things flow in order to avoid frustrations and disappointment. I used to be able to handle all these - keeping up with chats, fixing dinner dates, arranging for venues and time, or even being blown off the very last minute of the arranged event. But as time past I just feel so tired and perhaps started doubting myself if anyone actually appreciate all these things done. Where did that old me go to? Right now I only seem to be able to deal with one thing at a time. And because of that, I can no longer cater to everyone's needs ever so often.

Is this because we are at different phases in life? What would happen if I get married and set up my own family. My time would be even lesser and I probably won't be able to keep in touch as frequently or intensely as we used to. What would happen then?

Sigh...