Sunday, October 10, 2004

foul mood

once again i'm in bloody mood...not cos i'm having my period...cos i've realise something which i have been denying and hoping it has changed....

firstly, i have so many darn assignments to rush that i practically haven't been sleeping more than 5 hours daily...and now i'm having sore throat...and headaches...great...

i realise no one in my family take me seriously...an hour ago my parents met old neighbours of ours back in the ang mo kio days...they came to our house, they talked and looked around.

Something in their conversation struck me...when they asked my parents if i were still studying in university...my parents juz gave a small laugh and replied yah havent finish studying...

i mean wtf...they dun even take the time to tell them that i'm in poly and not a uni-grad with basic degree student...they probably think it's such a trivial thing to them...mb they dun find the need to explain to other ppl but to me it juz mean something...they dun give a damn wat i'm doing...

count me a petty, paranoid, stupid bitch but all i ever wanted is their recognition...but all i ever get is seeing them proudly showing the neighbours the tonnes of books that my bro bought from china back when he was studying there...

and u know wat...i realise all these years i have been fighting the battle alone, trying so hard to get back on my feet and so bloody caution not to fall again, trying to make them proud of me...alone....no matter how much i tell myself that they are there for me...fact is they're not...

i'm so tired...whenever i touch on this issue i'm always so emotional...so lonely...

4 comments:

pinkmpho5|s said...

hugz muacks!

aurora said...

Hey girl, i understand what u mean. sometimes I find it hard to explain to people why I am in poly and what the hell OT means. it's not our fault that they always thought we study PT because there are just too few of us. Let's say we shall make an impact on society in future. so now, we shall be in waiting in the background and faithfully doing our job. one day, we will be rewarded. :)

pinkmpho5|s said...

hey gals! OT is cool! i think it's so cool to be able to help your patients adapt to their lives once again.. and also very in depth... ;o)

Misspiggy said...

hey gals...thanx so much for ya support...=)