i loveee my squashies...they are the only ones whom i can really depend on when i'm tipsy and drunk...they are the only ones who can stand my smooches and puke...they are the only ones who will make sure i'll be home safe and sound...
was reminded of st james nite and realise i actually rem more than i thought i rem...jessie and ray...thanx for reminding =p
accidentally poured a glass of red wine on a girl's blouse on that nite...ray actually had to help me apologise and compensate the girl...jessie actually had to bear with the consequence of being called a 'madam'...
wanyee had to tolerate being cornered by me when i wanted to put a huge smooch on her cheek...
jessie amazed by me singing along with the Beyond cantonese song at that dragonfly section (o man what was i thinking)
and me hicupping and dozing off on jessie's shoulder and something else while waiting for cab...hehe...thanx for the cushioning babe...
girls....thank you so much for tolerating my nonsense...i know i can be quite a handful and full of nonsense when i drink a tad too much...
it was indeed a fun new year afterall! haha...
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Arh!! so happy! love this pic so so much! no one has ever drawn me before! neither have i tried getting myself drawn like that...wish i have the abs that are shown in the pic =p wah haha...
thank you silly no. 1!
Happy new year everyone!
New year, new begining....
Had so much fun for the past few days...the usual gatherings with relatives, usual small talks we made with ppl we seldom see, the usual next-year-bring-your-boyfriend-along comment....still, i love chinese new year...each year is different for me...
~new year eve eve~
Had maternal reunion dinner at my uncle's condo...usual gathering except that this time round there's more toddlers around...4 generations all together...
i ended up chasing after my youngest uncle, hitting him cos he cox auggy into drinking red wine...was so angry that i drank up all his wine from the cup...ha...
after that went dempsey road for more wine and sausages with dodo and her hubby-to-be...thanx for the treat dodo...
~new year eve~
Went to harbour front for lunch with my aunt, uncle and cuzzies...nice food, great company=)
noon time went over fen's place to nua and to get my nailpolish done...hehe not to mention to get goodies from auntie too...hehe...yummy!
evening had reunion dinner on our own and i headed down to yd's house...at bout 12am then we headed for chinatown! It was so fun! i was abit stoned lah cos very sleepy towards the end but i really enjoyed myself shopping with auntie, dawn, yilong and yd...it's like a family outing to me...my family has never done that before. Thanx for including me for the shopping trip!
we had great fun laughing at auntie and her hyena tattoo...keke very fun to see her smiling and holding her hand so dearly!
like i told yd...why do i always give my 'first time' to the sims....haha...
4 yrs back, when he juz had his car lisence, i kar kar be his passenger for the lorry ride to julia's bday party at east coast...that was like 2nd day post he was given the right to drive legally on the road...and mind you i didnt put on sit belt cos there was none and this fellow had no prior experience of driving a huge lorry! everything was smooth except for the hump! ha
this year, our dear little bro had gotten his bike lisence a week back and boy he had gotten himself a scrambler...this bike is so darn high that i had to hold on to yilong and yd in order to get onto the back seat...it wasnt as scary as i tot...didnt burn my arse with the exhuast pipe at the back and wasnt that loud...and i pass this little fellow simply cos he rides over the hump much much smoother than his bro...haha....
~CNY day 1~
did the usual thing of going to relatives house to bai nian..
evening time went over to aunt's place for dinner and drank 3 glasses of red wine before i pop over papa ng's place...
amazed that i can balance myself thru the train ride feeling high and on 3 inch heels...
sorry about dozing off and not able to play mahjong with u guys...was really tired by the time i'm done with shower ...
~CNY day 2~
woo hoo...went house visits...starting from sze's house to mine then to adrian's...to jl's...ck's then final stop was yd's...had steamboat again! haha...but it was nice...
done with dinner and washing dishes...hopped over to st james...went to the jazz section...weird ang mos singing with not so attractive moves...wat a waste...
drank abit too much and gotten tipsy...i think we did went to different sections of the entire place juz that i simply cant rem anything except snapshots of myself attacking jessie, ray and wan yee...giving them smooches on their cheeks...actually i only rem kissing jessie...but was told that i kissed the other two gals too...oops...sorry...hehe...
~CNY day 3~
went gu ma's house for the gathering as usual...uncles, aunts, cousins and their babies...place is getting smaller with more ppl coming into our big family...it's really heart warming to see that...
That pretty much sums up my CNY...fun! hope next year will be as fun too! muah haha....
Saturday, February 17, 2007
same me, same auggy, same occasion....
top is the pic taken this year during reunion dinner....
bottom is the pic taken last year during the dinner....
same position, same hug, same smile from me, same no-smile from auggy...
any difference spotted? baby boy grew so much over the year...and i've grown older over the year too...boohoo...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
handsome: eh what time you knock off...
me: 5.30pm lo...
handsome: o then you think if i meet up with you at 5.30, i will be able to reach clark quay by 6.30?
me: u may be abit late if u meet me at 5.30...why wanna meet me? i didnt bring your tie today leh...
handsome: no lah...want to take train with you together mah...
me: eeeew....so sweet of you....
handsome: of cos...
me: o_O okie lo...haha....
we did meet up and took the train together...though he did run late due to some delays...still, i appreciate him wanting to meet me up...
i know you love me...in your own way...so subtely...thanx for not giving up on me...
me: 5.30pm lo...
handsome: o then you think if i meet up with you at 5.30, i will be able to reach clark quay by 6.30?
me: u may be abit late if u meet me at 5.30...why wanna meet me? i didnt bring your tie today leh...
handsome: no lah...want to take train with you together mah...
me: eeeew....so sweet of you....
handsome: of cos...
me: o_O okie lo...haha....
we did meet up and took the train together...though he did run late due to some delays...still, i appreciate him wanting to meet me up...
i know you love me...in your own way...so subtely...thanx for not giving up on me...
| You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut |
 You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions. |
happy vday
Hair is wet, am waiting for it to dry, then i'll go sleep...
Met up with nikki babe for a movie in the evening. Two singles spending vday together. First time for her, second or third time for me (i cant rem exactly)...still, we had a good time, drooling over daniel wu in the movie and chatting so heartily while having our late dinner...Babe, thank you so much for spending time with me...hopefully i can catch you again before you fly back to aussie or i'll see you in melbourne in another 5 months time...
7 yrs back, i still rem the vday i had in nyjc, jl placed the piglet in the locker for me to find out...back then everything was so sweet and innocent...soo....childlike...
3 yrs ago, i still rem the vday i had in nyp, mr h had the florist to send flowers to schl for me and me giving him blue roses in return....it was sweet too and the kinda thing that teenagers will do...erm though i was in my 20s already...haha...
this year, i was suppose to spend this vday with banker...but somehow i knew it wont happen and true enough it didnt...
BUT i'll not forget the vday this year...cos someone put in the time and effort to make something for me...been a very long time since i get handmade present...the sincerity with this gift is very much felt and appreciated...thank you so much!
time to sleep...argh...i so not wanna work...i need a break from work totally....
Met up with nikki babe for a movie in the evening. Two singles spending vday together. First time for her, second or third time for me (i cant rem exactly)...still, we had a good time, drooling over daniel wu in the movie and chatting so heartily while having our late dinner...Babe, thank you so much for spending time with me...hopefully i can catch you again before you fly back to aussie or i'll see you in melbourne in another 5 months time...
7 yrs back, i still rem the vday i had in nyjc, jl placed the piglet in the locker for me to find out...back then everything was so sweet and innocent...soo....childlike...
3 yrs ago, i still rem the vday i had in nyp, mr h had the florist to send flowers to schl for me and me giving him blue roses in return....it was sweet too and the kinda thing that teenagers will do...erm though i was in my 20s already...haha...
this year, i was suppose to spend this vday with banker...but somehow i knew it wont happen and true enough it didnt...
BUT i'll not forget the vday this year...cos someone put in the time and effort to make something for me...been a very long time since i get handmade present...the sincerity with this gift is very much felt and appreciated...thank you so much!
time to sleep...argh...i so not wanna work...i need a break from work totally....
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
pauses...
i admit...i lost myself completely the moment i stepped into this relationship...lost as in not lost in the midst of lovey dovey moments but lost the 'me' in me...
did stupid things that i thought i wont do; reacted the way i thought i wont react; cried the number of times i thought i wont cry; placed myself in a position so low that i thought i'll never allow myself to be in; lied to someone whom i thought i'll always be truthful to...
he's not the best lover, he's not good looking, not sensitive, not loaded, not well tempered, not someone who will keep to his promises all the time...then why did i hang on to this relationship so darn tightly?
I like his confidence, i like the way he communicate at times when he puts in effort and is not busy playing his ps2, i like the way he explained things to me at times...i thought he can be the one to guide me through life...i thought i can tap onto his confidence level and grow with him in life...i stubbornly wanted to prove that we can make this relationship work despite the age and mentality differences...
it's juz like me wanting to study chinese in NUS and be a chinese teacher back then...i stubbornly held on to this idea and tried getting into the teaching line desperately...applied; reject; applied; reject...till i felt so depress that i could no longer function confidently as a being...i stubbornly wanted to prove that i can do it...i stubbornly held on to it and rejected all other options in life...
yes, never learn my lesson...always land myself in the 'jiao tou lan e' state then i'll start to realise i need to let things go...
it is hard to let go, it is hard to admit defeat for someone as stubborn as i am...but now i have to...for myself, for ppl who love me...
i am afterall not that bad right? i'm still whole and abled, still mentally sound, still has the ability to communicate and appreciate things in life, still has the capability of making myself pretty...haha....
sigh i juz want to be like the past- drunk, giggly, carefree, blur, silly...most imptly, love myself more than i should be...
did stupid things that i thought i wont do; reacted the way i thought i wont react; cried the number of times i thought i wont cry; placed myself in a position so low that i thought i'll never allow myself to be in; lied to someone whom i thought i'll always be truthful to...
he's not the best lover, he's not good looking, not sensitive, not loaded, not well tempered, not someone who will keep to his promises all the time...then why did i hang on to this relationship so darn tightly?
I like his confidence, i like the way he communicate at times when he puts in effort and is not busy playing his ps2, i like the way he explained things to me at times...i thought he can be the one to guide me through life...i thought i can tap onto his confidence level and grow with him in life...i stubbornly wanted to prove that we can make this relationship work despite the age and mentality differences...
it's juz like me wanting to study chinese in NUS and be a chinese teacher back then...i stubbornly held on to this idea and tried getting into the teaching line desperately...applied; reject; applied; reject...till i felt so depress that i could no longer function confidently as a being...i stubbornly wanted to prove that i can do it...i stubbornly held on to it and rejected all other options in life...
yes, never learn my lesson...always land myself in the 'jiao tou lan e' state then i'll start to realise i need to let things go...
it is hard to let go, it is hard to admit defeat for someone as stubborn as i am...but now i have to...for myself, for ppl who love me...
i am afterall not that bad right? i'm still whole and abled, still mentally sound, still has the ability to communicate and appreciate things in life, still has the capability of making myself pretty...haha....
sigh i juz want to be like the past- drunk, giggly, carefree, blur, silly...most imptly, love myself more than i should be...
Thursday, February 08, 2007
My Personality
82 | |
57 | |
60 | |
62 | |
7 |
| You are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You have some concern with others' needs, and are generally pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized. |
Browse 1000s of the most popular myspace layouts or create your own layout. |
Closure...
Managed to get thru to him last nite. He sounded indifferent. O well, what's new. No doubt i have contributed to that, somehow i also know he doesnt have the capacity to take it anymore. At least now we both know that there is no point continuing and dragging each other along.
He told me to grow up and that i'll always be a nobody if i continue to think that way -_-
Ultimately, he cant support me the way i wanted him to, esp emotionally. Perhaps i'm juz not strong enough...whatever it is...he's outta moi life! finally...
Anyway, everything will start anew. Chinese New Year coming. I juz wanna enjoy myself and prepare for my study. Speaking of which, i havent settle my study loan yet =p
He told me to grow up and that i'll always be a nobody if i continue to think that way -_-
Ultimately, he cant support me the way i wanted him to, esp emotionally. Perhaps i'm juz not strong enough...whatever it is...he's outta moi life! finally...
Anyway, everything will start anew. Chinese New Year coming. I juz wanna enjoy myself and prepare for my study. Speaking of which, i havent settle my study loan yet =p
Friday, February 02, 2007
cry cry cry...after today...no more...
seriously, i can do with a drink or two right now...i really really need it!
gonna do that with ray and jessie on sat....
since i dun have to ans to anyone or make promises not to drink anymore...i shall be the karen walker-alike jayna once more...i miss that...really...i miss drinking and chilling with my girls and pals in peace...
the downward spiralled r/s has come to an extend that i had enough and he had enough too...right now i truly appreaciate him not contacting me at all...it really makes things easier...no more being softhearted or guilty and going back to the vicious cycle...although at times i do miss him, his silly smiles, the stupid things we did together, his hug, his kisses and him smelling my hair...i'll miss all thsoe...but somehow all these doesnt sustain the r/s a single bit....
i'll go into deep deperssion if this go on....I need to get myself fixed...by myself....
i lost the ability to trust...perhaps it's like 'blink'....somehow, somewhere i juz know something is not right, something is not true in him but i cant pin point it....and silly me juz want to find facts to prove it but cant find anything concreate and in the end gottan a fake hope...a fake product - our r/s...
I want to start afresh....i'm so glad i'll be leaving for melbourne soon...i cant stay here anymore...not that i wont miss my frens...i'll miss every single one of them...but i cant expect them to help me pull myself up...i juz need some place new to start a new life...proving to myself i can actually survive very well alone in a foreign land....
no more jerks...i hate them...i had two in a row...enough is enough...i'll pull down that bus stop if i can...perhaps at that point of time, i believe too much in fate...or that i'm juz simply being too naive and dumb...agrh....
i'm bursting...my heart felt so heavy....
so...i shall go and sleep...it's the best remedy...at least for now...
gonna do that with ray and jessie on sat....
since i dun have to ans to anyone or make promises not to drink anymore...i shall be the karen walker-alike jayna once more...i miss that...really...i miss drinking and chilling with my girls and pals in peace...
the downward spiralled r/s has come to an extend that i had enough and he had enough too...right now i truly appreaciate him not contacting me at all...it really makes things easier...no more being softhearted or guilty and going back to the vicious cycle...although at times i do miss him, his silly smiles, the stupid things we did together, his hug, his kisses and him smelling my hair...i'll miss all thsoe...but somehow all these doesnt sustain the r/s a single bit....
i'll go into deep deperssion if this go on....I need to get myself fixed...by myself....
i lost the ability to trust...perhaps it's like 'blink'....somehow, somewhere i juz know something is not right, something is not true in him but i cant pin point it....and silly me juz want to find facts to prove it but cant find anything concreate and in the end gottan a fake hope...a fake product - our r/s...
I want to start afresh....i'm so glad i'll be leaving for melbourne soon...i cant stay here anymore...not that i wont miss my frens...i'll miss every single one of them...but i cant expect them to help me pull myself up...i juz need some place new to start a new life...proving to myself i can actually survive very well alone in a foreign land....
no more jerks...i hate them...i had two in a row...enough is enough...i'll pull down that bus stop if i can...perhaps at that point of time, i believe too much in fate...or that i'm juz simply being too naive and dumb...agrh....
i'm bursting...my heart felt so heavy....
so...i shall go and sleep...it's the best remedy...at least for now...
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