I WANT TO SLEEP

bloody bloody tired...but i like it...cos it means tonite i can sleep without any dreams...peaceful sleep thru the nite....

yesterday spent the whole nite trying to burn that counselling videos for my team mates...hai yo so troublesome man...i tot it's as easy as burning audio files...didnt know must have other programmes to convert the videos...was so desperate man...
luckily i have ck to help me and also yk to send me an idiot proof prog so that i can rip the file without much trouble...thanx guys...i will learn my lesson to seek help earlier and not end up suffering plus deprieved of sleep...

week went by juz like that...physio test was a killer and the more i do the mcq the more confused i am...i need more time to think thru the qn...it's either i'm slow or i'm stupid man...hai~
okie debate was alright...though i must say...i sux BIG time in debate...i dun even know wat i'm talking about! i think ppl also dun understand wat i'm trying to say...gees...when can i communicate at ease in english? sometimes i wonder since when i had such huge problem speaking english...it wasnt like that last time...

next week is my one week break...tot i can rest but seems like i cant...mon and tue got camp...i kinda regretted joining esp after seeing the ppl at the briefing on last wed...sian~ then wed i have to trying to do my assignment...thurs is for discussions...fri there is a gathering...yah then one week will be gone juz like that...and i still have so much work to catch up...how~

it seems like there is lesser time for myself...time management is my major problem and i seriously need to plan my stuff properly...why am i always so busy? and wat am i busy with...

hai~ i abit scare for physio le...though i have been trying to keep up...i scare i fail the test...have to keep my fingers crossed at all times man..

as u can see...my tots are in random now...which means...i really need to sleep le...

side notes: i planted balasm with my fren..hopefully it'll grow...

my babies...o my babies....gone...

so blue...

true enough my sunflower babies withered under my hands!!! damn damn!!! shouldn't have moved them...or like wat my lecturer said shouldn't have touched them too much when transfering them...now they're like dying...gone gone....my poor babies...

think i can only grow cactus...even cactus died under my hand before...o man...is there any other plants that are more hardy and can withstand my rough handling...urgh...stupid stupid stupid...

suddenly i'm kinda daunted by this question....do i have the ability to keep doggies...wah wat if they die under my hands too..how...i cannot take that le...

i must say i am still guilty for making that hamster died last time...due to my ignorance...thought it could survive solely on veggy without giving it water....stupid right...no wonder the very last day of this poor fellow...its body was like suddenly so skinny...it wasnt until lately that i realised it's my fault...cos that hamster was smuggled back by my bro from china...haha...i tot it couldnt get used to the weather here and died...o man..it's me.....hai~

gotta get back to work...tired...bye babies...sob sob~

i'm so dead....

this is red alert man...am so up to my neck already....procrastinating like a stupid idiot for the past few weeks! o man what am i doing....i seem to lose all the discipline i'm left with.

physio test is in one week's time...though i hve kept up reading to chap 11... i have this feeling i need to read them on more time...again!

have counselling session to shoot...hopefully can be done within one or two days...have debate next week too...have to prepare...i scare i gabra....o no...i'm never good in debating using english...chinese i may be able to do so but english i'm sure to stammer man...

am starting to feel abit draining...cos of training...think i got too much of it...someone used to ask me whether i'm sian about going for training so frequently...i'm fine with it...but now that i have to juggle with my schl work...i felt stretched...i can't help but feel the same scenario replaying....like the time when i spent way too much time on ccs...my grades suffered...i suffered...for 2 freaking yrs...history cant repeat itself...not on me...

the only thing i'm glad is that my sunflower sprouted!!! muah haha....at least it shows that i still have a little hope in gardening...gonna transfer my babies to bigger pots tomolo!!! may u all grow strong and healthy! hahahahaha

ihopeimnotlosingu

i totally have no idea wat to write...spent my public hols rotting at home and watching tv...how unproductive...o man and i'm suppose to be an ot....

great...sat went out for dinner with my frens...ate at magic wok...food is not bad and pretty reasonable too...actaully i dun care about the food...i juz wanna sit down with my frens and eat with them...their presence and company are good enough for me...i guess it's becos sometimes i fear that not meeting often with them will prone to us drifting apart...insecurities...that's me...
we went to a coffee place at arts house too...the out of tune singing and guitar playing nearly stop us from going in...but alright...we still settle on that place...atmosphere is good and cosy...juz minus the singing...

i need to buck up in my work...havent been able to concentrate fully...i'm trying very hard...cant lose my grip now or i'll go crazy....have to be more discipline...damn it...

o yah i finally baked my pendant...heng it came out nice and not chao ta...it's so fun...and hopefully the seeds we planted today will sprout into little plants...and hopefully my sunflower and petite orange will grow....i'm not a very plant person...remembered that a bonsai i was so hoping it will grow sorta die under my 'care'...hai i think i can only get more satisfaction thru arts and craft....anyway if u're wondering how come i have so much time to do all these...well...it's part of our lesson to do them....haha fun eh...love my course....

gotta run...have to study....ciao~ everyone

run...run...run....

broke my own record today...ran 8 rounds with jessie...o man...with my aching calves i still force myself to jog...mb tomolo my legs will turn wobbly...o well...love jogging...it's always nice to have someone to jog with

had this discussion with the student officer who is incharge of squash...bloody idiot...he dun wanna send the squash team to IVP and he keep saying nasty things like...competition is not for gaining experience but for good players to play and win games...

come to think of it...there are so many things for us to explore; to try and to gain knowledge...if we were not given the chance to compete in this tornament...it'll be a real pity cos we'll be denied the opportunity to learn....

things are getting better for me...but i think work load is piling up...am so tired after training...but squash is still quite fun for me...dunnoe is it the ppl or the sports itself...haha i aint a competitive player...definitely not man...but playing it out of interest is really fun....=)

have to go bathe...stinky~~~

Almost.....

sat was fun except for losing v cam...apart from that...i did have fun with my click...and truly i enjoyed myself...havent seen them for a long time and it always feels good to meet up with them...but next time we shall decide on a place that has less ppl yah....

anyway that's not the point...so many things happened on sat...and it's kinda overloading my brain....first was the friendly match...okie first time i won a match...happy....

evening went out for gathering with frens...had alot of fun but end up losing my fren's equipment...okie very giulty bout it but never mind cos will pay for it....

worst of all...my two bao beis fell off the bike in the sat afternoon along the highway...and until the next morning...i didnt know a single thing about it...how great a daughter i am.....juz freaking great eh

luckily they are still in one piece...with bit of scratches here and there....and i really thank god that they actaully fell on the left side of first lane where there's no vehicles...if they were to fell on the right...would have been knocked by on-coming cars...

hai~ this thing has never happened to my dad before...think it's the first time the bike slided and they fell...dunno wat's wrong...and the worst thing is...they landed by the side of the highway bleeding and no one....NO ONE stopped to help them...bloody ppl only know how to see from their stupid cars and bikes...two of them actually have to call 995 on their own...and u know what...they cant get thru 995! so ended up calling the police...

sometimes i wish my parents will inform both my bro and i about wat happened....i'm not blaming them for not calling us when they're at the hospital...but i would definitely have rushed down if they had called me...at the very least i can do is be there and give them comfort...but anyway that's the way both of them handle stuff...and i'm glad they're okie now...juz hope their wound will heal faster...esp my dad's...

overload overload...many things running thru mind...gotta sleep...