went for ward round today...i stood there...10 mins into it...i started seeing stars...not a good sign man...so i excused myself to go toilet...pee~ed and went back to stand there and listened to the house men report about the progress of each pt...

15 min into it...i started to break into cold sweat...then saw more stars this time round...i excused myself again and went to sit on the toilet bowl to rest...my boss must be wondering why i kept going to the toilet...but then i didnt tell her cos we are already down to 2 therapist to take charge of the whole 13 wards...plus i've already had 2 days mc this month already...

actually i panicked alittle when i was feeling faint...cos i need to pull thru today no matter wat but i know physically i may not be up to it...

but then come to think of it...the worst case scenario will be that i faint among the medical offiecers, house men, registras and medical students...all 'pretty well trained' health professionals...and hopefully one of the handsome good looking docs will come save me and gimme CPR...ha ha ha

anyway managed to pull thru today...with the help of my beloved therapy assistant...cant thank her enough....

sigh....i'm sick again this week...this is like the second time this month...think my boss aint very happy with me cos i took mc and they have to cover for me...

eversince last attachment, i've been sick on and off...or should i say i fall sick very easily for the past few months...perhaps the lack of exercise...immune system getting a tad too low...

actually i kinda get attune to working life...i love my job...i dun mind interacting with elderly...i dun mind chatting with them either...cos some of them are really lovely and cute to talk to....but once i'm off work...i'm always in shut down mode...i wont wanna talk much to anyone when i reach home...and i snap pretty easily too...seems like my patience is used more on my patients than when i'm home....

went to return dvd to yk on wed...was so drained...and he saw me...he kept asking me wat happened to me...why am i getting skinner and skinner...where is the fat oldt me...i nearly wanted to cry...i miss talking to yk...but that ady i simply have no enegery to stay and catch up with him...i miss our time spent together reasoning about life...i miss that...

i wish i can sleep through the nite without having to wake up in the middle of it knowing that it's actually not time to get up yet...it's been like that for nearly a month...i dunno wat's wrong but it's making me freaking tired...

i juz wish that i can sleep and not wake up...

hey hey...i'm back...i know i MIA for a long time...

first thing first...i know i'm the stubborn cow...i know i reacted pretty hushly...my apologies...afterall i know u care about me...i dunno wat's wrong with me lately...very bitchy and sensitive...

will be out of job soon...actually...i was disappointed at first but lately i'm starting to feel glad...already i'm formulating get away trip at the back of my head...arh...i wanna have fun...like i told fen...perhaps one of the days i'll juz sms my friends to tell them 'hey, i'm flying to (insert asia country's name) now...seeya in few days time!'

it'll be fun le...grab passport and run away on my own...haha...

sigh...gotta prepare for my presentation tomolo...will update about my life again...

he's back!!! finally!!

he hasnt been around much lately...i didnt realise how much i've missed him until i saw him smiling at me when i called him and him, crawling towards me giggling and laughing...trying to follow my socks...

auggy is back...miss him so much...

this little angel is turning 1 yr old by end of the month! so fast! seemed like yesterday that my sis-in-law was crying and screaming in pain...

o yar...that's really fast...one year already...

i realise i'm slowly fading out of the picture...perhaps i didnt put in enough effort to try and mingle within them...perhaps it's my stupidity that's putting them off....perhaps it has come to a point where i'm no longer needed in their lives...

sent a batch of my classmates off at the airport on sat...they should be in sidney right now...unpacking their stuff...trying to grab some rest...

i didnt get to see them off by the departure gate...the goodbyes i said to them were rather light hearted and with laughters...but i'm sure there were bound to be some tears shed at the point where they had to board the flight...

i wonder how the scene will be like next year at this moment when i'm suppose to fly off to la trobe for my studies..will there be tears or will i be missed when i'm gone...

looking at how things are going around me...maybe it wouldnt be that hard to say goodbye to me afterall...