suddenly i feel like doing mean things...argh...feel like screaming my lungs out...why do i always torment myself...why am i so weak emotionally...why why why....i think i do it deliberately so that i can feel the pain to stay alive...argh...wat am i doing....

i miss my colleagues in AH...one of them is sweet enough to buy me the 3-D turtle puzzle that i was looking for...i've gotten it fixed and it looked juz like the real one...so cute...shall have it placed in the office tomolo...

have to fight a war tomorrow....i hate it when i'm not in control of situation...feel so insecure...i hope the consultants will be merciful and not refer so many cases to me at one shot...

no matter how hard it is...i'll juz have to survive thru and thru...if i can get thru this jmc set up i'll be happy enough...