Halloween...

I is jealous...I have always wanted to go for Halloween party but never had the chance to...even now...i cant cos rushing assignment...

Auggy beats me to it man...he's having a party in schl tomolo and he's dressing up as a tiger...why tiger? i dunno...but sis said she asked him on 3 different occasions, 3 times his ans was 'tiger'...so he seemed pretty serious about it...so much for a 2 yo..haha...here's a preview of his outfit...i hope sis can draw whiskers on his face tomolo!















so cute right! i think he's trying to roar here...haha...i wish i can go trick and treat with him...o man..it'll be so fun!

sis said next year she knows what outfit to get for auggy...how she knows?

her dad asked :"next year be superman?"
auggy: "no"
sis asked: "be spider man?"
auggy: " no"
sis: "then what you wanna be?"
auggy: "ultraman!"

doink doink doink...he is sooo like bro man...

Rambles...

You know how when you've reached a certain age and you can't avoid but have to start doing things alone - cook alone, eat alone, watch movie alone, wash clothes alone, sleep alone and live alone...

Either you get use to this lifestyle or...you start to fear the possibility of yourself doing that for the rest of your life and you try to look for the so-call lifetime partner or soul mate...

So what happens if one is comfortable with being alone but deem as a deviant by kins??

5 years from stepping on the big 3...I can already foresee that scenario with me being the main actress...

In fact, I can foresee my relatives asking me 'so when will it be your turn arh' during dodo's wedding this coming Dec...

they better not ask me...if they do...hmm...I'm still trying to think of an ans that will shut them up...for good...

'When my tummy is big, you'll know i'm getting married...'
or
'Another 10 years? I'm still waiting for my boyfriend to hit the legal age of having sex...'
or
'Tomorrow! Didnt Mom invite you guys for the dinner? I told her to inform all of you!'
or
Maybe I'll just pretend not hearing those questions and gorge myself silly with the sharks' fin soup...

btw there is sharks' fin soup right???

Happy.....

it's amazing how technology makes wonder...

I finally get to skype with auggy and he sang cuppy cupcake song to me via webcam...

I get to see fat little ben ben sleeping....

and to my surprise...my bro actually has a facebook account...muah haha...

I just called mom to wish her happy birthday but she like not surprised leh...hai yar...no fun...

anyway back to work...feeling abit stress all over again...o man...

Happy 60th Birthday!

I know it's your birthday today, what I didn't realise is that this year is your 60th birthday and neither one of us is around to celebrate with you except dad.

Happy 60th Birthday, Mommy...wish you health and beauty =) May you be youthful always!

Love you lotss...Muack!

For my babe

I feel your ache...

I hope you'll feel better soon...yes give yourself time to heal but soon k...

We'll go London to work and pick our ang mo 'thorns' ;)

Love you babe...

laughing my head off...

Yd replied my sms...saying that he loves me enough to accept and compromise the new me...so sweet right...so i put that up on msn...

and this is the respond i get from my bro...

DieselBoB says: 交男朋友很应该，交女朋友就不好了

~Doink~ I nearly wanna flip from my chair....
What gives him the impression that i'm a lesbian...

I ish like men Men MEN!

btw...just did webcam with my auggy and ben ben plus sis and bro...

soooo cute can...auggy gave me flying kisses...hai yo...melt melt

still taste better on its own...

and so with less than 2 hours of sleep, Alison and I managed to pull our slides together and present them to the class today...

it was fun, at least we managed to get peeps to respond and managed to maintain their level of interest on the topic...

good job ally! I hope you're sleeping and getting enough rest now...

I wanted to sleep at 7 but simply couldnt get to sleep...

soon soon...btw..white wine and coffee...mixed...outlook is yucky...tasted so so....

coffee with bailey is still the best mix...

stress...

I need to shout...F!@#@$@#!!!

Presentations: 2 - 1 down 1 to go (1 today, 1 tomorrow)

Essays/reports: 6 - 3 down 3 more to go...to squeeze out 9500 words from my puny brain...

Exams: 1 next fri...

You think white wine and coffee will taste good?

I'll find out and let you know later...

My boys...

Fat ben ben flying...



Auggy singing hokkien song...



And he sings itsy bitsy spider...

high on caffeine...

had 4 cups of coffee today....cant seem to sleep...so shall update my blog with some pics...















carbonara pasta that we attempted ages ago...nice nice...abit eggy in the end though...















Chicken thighs that we roasted with sauce, carrots and potatos...yummy...















days when i have to cook for myself...noodles...with veg, chicken wings and egg...not back lar...aint that unhealthy i suppose...















told you about my bed being occupied by papers...ta daa....articles lying around...i slept with that for like 2 nights...sad...so sad....haha....

Auggy auggy auggy...

Just spoken to Auggy...he called me, gu gu! ~melt melt~

Gee...he knows how to speak full sentences now...and he speaks so clearly...

Told me, ye ye is in singapore and that he called back to talk to nai nai...

Gosh soo cute! Makes me miss him even more...

Missing out so much on his growing up process...

I am soooo gonna spend one month in HK...I can't wait!

Freaky freak freak...

Lately I'm buried under the heaps of assignments and presentations such that I often fell asleep either while reading articles or typing stuffs. Yes, that's how tired I am at times.

Half of my bed is covered by articles instead of ~cough~man~cough (joking lar joking)...Back in the old days, the floor of my room will be well covered by tonnes of papers...you have to maneuver your way in order to get around within my room ...now it has simply upgraded to papers invading my sleeping space...imagine this - queen size bed, half occupied by papers and the worst thing is sometimes my quilt ended up covering the papers too cos it's too big. Damn it, my sleeping partner is not my teddy bear nor pillow nor human...it's papers...PAPERS...sigh...

Another freaky thing...

despite me being soo tired from all the readings and typings...I actually dreamt of him last nite...very vivid dreams....very real...dreamt that we were having lunch like the old times....dreamt that we bumped into my friends who happened to know him...wah liao eh...

get out pls get out...I dun have enough memory space to wanna even recall or dream of him...

Dreams like that will linger in my brain and occupy maybe 1GB of space (like the nano he bought me...ha)....now I'm only left with 39GB for my 4 essays and 2 presentations....cannot man...

Shall reformat that diskspace....

see i'm typing nonsense...

my eternal sunshine...

I love his smile...i miss his smile...

it's about time to start the ration...

I fucking hate it when non-related ppl make their problems my responsibility to solve...

fucking landlord gave me the electricity bills to show me how much excess there was...excuse me...you're the landlord...it is YOUR responsibility to deal with the bills yourself...if you wanna charge excess, charge...dun make me stand there and asked me to help you solve the problem...it is not my fucking responsibility to help you justify or come up with pathetic excuses to overcharge us...

missy here has been very patient all along...but if you step on my tail...I'm gonna snap big time...

yes, banker pushed my limit beyond god-knows how far...my patience with ppl has always been that high...but currently with the fact that i'm living alone...it is just too tiring for me to compromise ALL the time...to EVERY single person...

No one will care if i dun care for myself...so wth...I dun wanna be that miss full-of-patience shit anymore....i hate the feeling of being shortchanged...

yes i'm a selfish bitch...yes i'm self centred...i'm not here to please everyone in my path...so dun expect me to be all smiley if i dun find you worth my energy to spend my portion of patience upon...

ha ha ha

eh i said i needed blood in previous blog...no response...no one loves moi...

except fen...she said she'll donate her blood to me in future if we stay together and that if she made me puke blood excessively...haha...same blood type somemore...good good...

this silly girl, declared accessories in the parcel but not the piggy mooncake, 2 lanterns and a pack of candles along with some of my clothings and heels...in the end accessories cannot send but the food and flammable stuffs got sent to my door step...how funny is that...

and one of the piggy biscuits is in purple basket somemore! haha both my favourite!

You know you're an alcoholic when...

your cousin who is doing research on social work needed to survey someone who drinks...and she immediately emailed me...why?

cos my mom told her i drink...doink doink doink...

And you know you're an alcoholic when...

your buddy thinks of you whenever she sees heineken...and she made the effort to dig thru her collection of postcards just so that she can send you a heineken postcard....

Hi, I'm Jayna, I'm an alcoholic....@#!@$@#$

" and they try to make me go to rehab, and i say no no no..." muah haha haha...

25 and ?

I think I've lost it. Lost the ability to feel, to think, to reflect.

I haven't been in touch with my emotions because I've been busy trying to move forward, to be in control, to be strong on my own and not rely on anyone.

Learning to do things myself was never easy. I'm the youngest child, a spoilt one too. Am always the one to test my parent's limit, the one who rebel, the one who is out of the norm.

So, where will I be 5 years down the road? Will I still be that spoilt child who wasted so much time and money, taking the longer path life?

What's next?