have been taking down notes for my clinical for the pass one hour or so...need to take a break before i start having phobia about hands...

quite funny...i borrowed a goniometer from my sup on fri cos i wanna go home practise the measurement of the bending angle of the digits...took it to camp with me..and i ended up measuring my squashies' hands during the camp...haha actually i only started out with my committee members then the others juz willingly lend me their hands after that...haha so cute..esp the twins...

slept for 14 hours since last nite...can u imagine that...i havent had this kinda luxury since long ago...was sleeping like a dead pig by 8.30pm and none of my family members knew i was home...sis-in-law even tot i went out again and sms me to ask wat time i'll be home...she said i blend so well with my bed that none of them notice me sleeping...-_-"

will go jogging if i'm not feeling lazy...woo hoo...got new earphones...hooked to the ear kind...now i dun have to keep adjusting it while i jog..cos the previous one keep dropping out...damn irritating...

weather is good...for the first time i didnt take any nap even when it rained...muah haha...mm...something is not right...if yk knows he'll have said this " you're not jiahui! u're fake! where is the real piggy jiahui?" muah haha

really really tired...right now i cant even open my eyes to the usual size that it suppose to be...

camp juz ended...i cant say it's a very very good camp...but at least we accomplished wat we suppose to do...good enough...at least nothing major cropped up...

pretty fun last nite...walking around with committee at the schl's track...wah...can see alot of stars le...it's so unsual to see so many stars in s'pore...so all of us were like standing on the track staring at the sky for very long...so nice...

sigh...think i'm old le...cant stay up for long...wanted to paint banner with the gals thru the nite..end up i slept at 3,4+ till morning...still, i'm tired the whole day...trying to pull thru the day despite my aching head...sian...

another thing is...i gave my classmate's chalet a miss...so so sorry regina...i wanted to go down straight from schl but had too many stuff to carry home...really sorry about that...but i do hope that u like the present...

so sweet..dylan actually planned a surprise 21st birthday party for regina at east coast chalet...wonder how everything turned out...o man missed out so many things..first is...class chalet and now this...feel so far away from my classmates...wont see them for another month le...so lonely...hai~ like outcast le...except that i aint out of the group cos i'm weird but becos i'm busy with other stuff...argh...sian

no life...no life...no life....

morning: bright and energized...looking forward to the day as best as i can...attachment is pretty interesting...abit stressful cos sup demands quite abit...but so far she's pretty nice...others like TAs and other OTs in the hospital are nice and friendly too....juz like one big family...with my sup being the mother hen...haha

evening: dead tired...i have been sleeping like a dead fish in the train on my way home for these two days...kinda like a natural thing for me do already...cant help it...i've used up my energy to sustain my alertness during the placement...

bro juz threw tantrum really badly...i guess he's stressed up about his 3 weeks china trip...sigh...poor thing

right now...i'm sleepy...tired...as usual...think i'm gonna take a nap then read up then check on my squash gals...sigh..i'm really sorry for not being able to do the stuff with u two...i'm sorry for having u two to run the camp first...really thankful to have the two of u

nite time...i always start missing hairul...have been receiving his calls at round 2,3 am...good enough since he's away for camp in malaysia...and with the bad reception hearing his voice is comforting enough...

gtg...i'll try to survive this week...next week i'll be even more stressed up...sup is gonna ask alot of qn man...cham...have to take in as much infor as possible...

one more day to attachment...one more day....

what have i been doing? settling squash stuff as best as i can...trying to read up 'hands' stuff...which reminds me...everytime it comes to 'hands'...i'm always hugging buddha's leg...except that this time round nikki is not with me...i'm alone...

managed to spend time with hairul today...nice...felt more settled and very much contented being with him the whole day...i know i can be difficult at times...i appreciate him for tolerating my tantrums, mood swings and my fickle-mindedness...i always try to think of a win-win situation for the both of us which can turn out pretty upsetting and bizarre sometimes...sorry for making things difficult...

the talk over the phone last nite...i truly appreciate that too...it puts me at ease knowing that we both are trying to make the best out of this relationship...nothing is easy...we both are aware of that...but at least we are happy with wat we have now...
thank u baby...

i guess i have to start singing my helium voice song...i will survive...need to pull thru this week...
reality...i need to face it...

predicted mood for the next few days: fucked-up mood...

need to sort things out...all my plans have to be re-arranged due to the last min changes...need to gear up for my placement...

actually right now i'm pretty panicky inside...am suppressing my feelings, emotions, mood, blah blah...i dun have time for all those things...watever it is i'll have to pull thru it...i'll juz have to see how far i can stretch myself till...

sigh...sucky day...bloody luck...

i think god has been giving me signs all these while...first, hairul gotten fractures for his wrists...then is apple telling me how sucky her job interview was at AH....then is sid always asking me if i get hands placement how....

yesterday...gotten a call from HB...asking if i can start my placement next wed...hands placement at alexandra hospital...i'm like...huh...i can say no meh...sigh...wah biang...hols cut short...squash camp coming...club crawl preparation on the way...like that i'm gonna die lah in 2 weeks time...

comforting thing is...hairul is finally back from his trekking...hehe...

have to thank yd and yk for talking to me and keeping me sane...yeah went wala last nite...still as fun as ever...too bad cant stay there for long....hopefully will get a chance to go there again...soon...haha...

can't u let me stay home for awhile longer and do my own stuff...

u said i can do it when i'm free...why are u pressing me about it then...it's juz a bank book...maybe to you it's super important...but i'll get it done by the end of the week...

told u i'm tired...and tired of having to travel to schl for 4 days out of a week...which is why i wanna stay home for as long as i can...but i dun think u get it...perhaps u dun see why i cant get out of the house earlier and u dun understand why i'm going to schl so frequently despite the fact that it's schl hols...whatever it is...i will do whatever u want me to do...i'll get it done alright....

it brings me back to my sec schl years...
i rem i told u once that i was selected to be president for my chinese cultural society club...
i told u with excitment and a tinge of pride...i was expecting u to be happy for me and the very least, supportive of your daughter...
'arh...why president...can u not take it?' was ur response...
wat can i say? wat can i do? it seems like my parents aint impress or proud of it...
perhaps that's when i stop informing them much about myself except for trival stuffs...
cos i know wat their response will be..

i wonder if they're ever proud of me...

happy~

had fun yesterday...cos i managed to buy myself a tube top..and the gals gotten me a bra and panty that i wan..muah haha...sexy~
hehe thank you so much...had so much fun trying out dresses with u gals

my meetup wit pri schl fren was surprisingly a pleasant one...no awkwardness despite not seeing each other for about 10 years...we've talked so much! trying to update one another on our lives for the past 10 years in the 1 hr+ conversation. Really nice chatting with him...

best part of the meetup was when my fren took out his ic plus his ns card and showed me his pri 6 and after poly pic...o my gosh...he is so much better looking now...well built and more charming...haha...i couldnt help burst out laughing when i saw his pri 6 photo...cos that's where my memory of him stopped at...chubby, flat hair,big size,cute looking guy...haha i miss that fat fat cute looking him...but then am glad that he managed to lose weight...cos he was way overweight then...am glad that he's happy with his life too...working so hard to establish his career...

it's nice to meet up old frens once in awhile...kinda brings back childhood memory...and reminds me of how much older i am now...sigh...aging man...sux...

listening: Quando Quando Quando by Michael Buble and Nelly Furtado

soothing...like this version alot...juz give you a different feel when you listen to it...

sigh...are promises made meant to be broken? if so, then don't make promises that u're not even sure u can fulfill...have learnt my lesson not to give empty promises unless i know i can keep to them...wat comes around goes around...dun like to receive empty promises so i dun wanna do that to others too...perhaps that why i always use the word 'i'll try...'

expectation+promises=disppointment
no expectation + no promises= no disappoinment

easy as that...

gotta go wash up and meet my pri schl classmate whom i havent seen for 10 years! mm...poor chap tried to organise a pri schl gathering but none make confirmation with him...mm...dunno why i've decided to meet him..alone somemore...tried to persuade simin to go but she dun wanna come...peifen now in new zealand...mm juz tot it'll be nice to meet up since he put in effort to organise an outing which failed...

Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy.
But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive.
~Mitch Albom
The Five people you meet in Heaven

meaningful isnt it...any kind of love will go thru that situation whereby the joy within slips away under the presence of any challenges and to replenish it, is to work from the baseline instead of focusing on the surface...arent we all constantly focusing on the wat we see instead of wat we should understand...cos it's always easier to tackle things that are the most obvious to us...

going to finish reading this book. Pretty interesting to me. Kinda like it more than ' Tuesday with Morrie'. If u have time, go read it...

kinda lost touch with artsy films lately...wat happened arh...mm...time plus money constrain...
arh..mb if tomolo i have time i'll watch 'the hours' again...if only i have dvd of 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' , 'before sunrise' and 'before sunset'.... i think i'll watch them again and again...haha...sigh...good movies are hard to find u know...must find a way to get back to watching arts films!

last nite i was writing my journal...fell asleep while penning my thoughts down...didnt know i can do that...haha...must be too tired...anyway i like it that way...cos i wont dream that much and i'll feel more refresh when i wake up...

yeah...finally bro brought back sis's roller blade...gonna try it out again...do or die i wanna master the art of roller blading...cos my area is such an ideal place to do that...juz pray hard that my bones arent brittle and that i wont crack any of it again...

so far...presents received: crumpler bag ( hehe from hairul), cool note book+cap (thanx to liting, ying ying, huixin and audrey), cards (thanx to aunt, my squash mate, shijie), dkny perfume+moisturiser( thanx ck! i love it!!!), bikini( sexy ones from apple and shimin), earphones( cool ones from weiming, weikun and jianming), lunch + courtshoes ( peifen and simin...muack!), yummy dinner and cake ( yd's mom, yd, ck, sze, vicky, yk, jl, yilong and adrian, thank u!), surprise cake and coming gift voucher ( eve, chris, nikki, kaysing, regina)....wah haha...i've decided to get myself either nice hair clip, earrings or bra....mm perhaps i'll settle with bra...wah haha...nice nice! we shall see to it!

more pictures

Realise the auntie at the background has the same look as ours? haha


smiley...beer...water...banana me...


this is my 'yah right...' look
dunnoe why...but i just like this pic alot...


handsome and me! nice pic eh...good lighting!
and that's not my hand on his arm...haha looks like it isnt it?


blurry...but nice...


and lastly...someone whom i'm gonna miss for the next 5 days...

First time....

First time...

Daddy pad my head this morning...wishing me happy birthday...gave me 100 bucks ang bao...

Mommy wished my happy birthday too...

Hairul being the first to wish me happy birthday and owing me 23 k

Frist time...

Me crying non-stop in front of the com now...not even knowing why i do that...it juz keep flowing out...sudden outburst of frustrations...emotions....all combined and oozzed out of my eyes...making them swollen and red...making me look like raindeer...sux...

gonna go wash up...

23 no longer 22

Happy Birthday to me...one year older...dunno to be happy or wat...haha...

surprisingly...mommy remembered my birthday...offered to go out to eat as form of celebrating it for me...mm...weird...last last yr and last yr dun have leh...anyway cannot make it for dinner lah cos got training...plus have to meet SAO for some discussion first...i juz hope that things can go smoothly...

went sentosa with my hairul for a retreat on mon and tue...wat can i say other than fun fun fun! played volleyball, frisbee...we're even joined by these bunch of uni kids and played a few games of frisbee with them too...pretty fun...they all look so young man...we tot they're poly kids in their 17s...cos the guys dun even look like they've been thru ns...hmmm....

stayed in rasa sentosa for one nite...nice place...nice pool...got lots of ang mos with their ang mo kids...haha so cute...too bad the room we've gotten is not the one facing the sea...if not it'll be real nice!

after this trip...i'll be back to schl to work on squash stuff...arh...dunno why members getting lesser and lesser despite us calling...i hope i'm not making a mess out of the club...sigh...

arent i suppose to be happy? am going to spend time with my dear away from singapore...okie it's only sentosa but better than nothing mah...

sigh...but something not quite right...maybe it's my period...or the fact that i'm gonna be one year older soon sickens me...not that i'm afriad of getting old...it's juz that i'll always be reminded of the disppointment and bitterness when i was 21...of cos at the same time i'm reminded of the sweet sweet memories at wala when i'm 22...
just that bad things plague me more than the happy ones...

this whole thing juz kind of dampen my mood...arh...sick woman..what exactly do u want...i dunno...get it over and done with...ironic ironic...dun e and u wont get the d...sigh...shall keep to that...afterall that's wat happened last year isnt it...and that was the best thing i had...indeed it is...

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Photos...

here are some photos we took on fri...pretty cheezy and nice ones...haha...more to come


cheezy...


2 big eyes gals and one sleepy head


bus stop

it's been a long time....

alright...first entry after i've changed my blogskin...pretty proud of myself...cos a computer idiot like me can do up all the tagboard and link stuff all by myself...i consider it aint too bad...

okie so wat have i done since wed...

after my first and last paper...went out with the gals to town to walk around...bought something which cheered me up...though it's not for myself...haha...uh i also dunno why i'm happy...think the fact that i bought something juz make me feel better...after having sushi for dinner...went espirit and zara to shop...tried this halter top and tube top at espirit...nice....haha...but didnt buy...hehe can save money...

after that...i'm suppose to go home...but no..i did not...haha met up with ray and jessie at happy dayz...met a senior from squash too...pretty nice gal...had fun chatting and chilling out with them... too bad angie cant make it....i like to chat with the gals...cos it's really fun and we can talk about anything under the sun...or should i say moon...haha

anyway...drank quite abit...was tipsy...and i knocked my nose on the tap during shower...now got brusie...so dumb...no more bacardi 151...taste yucky and too burning...no more no more...'quick fuck' is still the best...sweet and nice...

thurs...went to polyclinic with hairul...slept at 3 on wed...woke up at 7 to make my way down to his place...super duper sleepy...had mac breakfast with him then we went to see doc at polyclinic to get his wrists checked...queue is super long...and all the time are spent on waiting...but am fine with it...cos we juz sit there talk and talk...bug each other and try to entertain one another...haha...one piece of advice...dun go polyclinic alone...it's really super boring and tiring cos have to wait very very long....

fri...which is today...went to have lunch at the nice jap restaurant with yd,ck,sze and vicky...so fun!!! miss them so much...been a long time since we last hang out...think we've all enjoyed the food and the company...so nice...had a funny incident in the toilet...shant put it here...cos it's really very embarassing...haha....stupid act of mine...haha

after lunch...went to jap supermarket to walk around...after that dunno wat to do...cos we're suppose to catch a play which is at 8...so we decided to go brewerkz to taste beer....haha...nice place to hang out too...cos the interior is pretty cosy...took lots of photos....fun fun...laughed alot...cos we're talking about old sec schl days...now we all know who is the more jinxed one in terms of making the eca clubs to close down...haha

evening time had dinner at buger king...i laughed the hardest here cos yd was telling us some traumatising events he and his sister put yilong thru...biang...so damn funny...and horrifying too...haha...really quite hilarious...poor yilong...childhood must be quite terrifying to him...haha..

after that..we went for the talk show 'it takes two' ....pretty entertaining...but it kinda lack something in it...still...selena tan and hossan leong are really good in this theatre scene...and boy...hossan leong's voice is goood....

show ended at 10...and we decided to have coffee...so another round of chit chatting...this time round...we talked about photography...

mm..that's about it actually...pretty fun day for me...so happy...hehe...have to go bathe now...