Sometimes I wonder, had I not put enough effort in the relationship. I would want to believe I had. I think when it got started, I put in alot of effort. So much so that I over indulged the other party. So much so that I was taken for granted over so many things, over so many occasions.

Along the way, I learnt. I learnt not to give in so much. I learnt to take back what I have given in. I learnt to not take so much things to heart. I learnt to take the backseat and just watch it go along. Eventually it just went the path of a downward spiral. From the initial disappointment to getting unmotivated. It was actually quite a long way. For me at least.

I think at this point of time, there is nothing you can do. Even if you continue to put in effort ie. texting me despite me not returning any of the text. I dun think anything can change what is happening now. This continual of effort should have been put in a year ago. Not now, when everything has crumbled. For me to reach the stage of not having the urge to reply your msges, not feeling upset when I see your msges, it means alot.

I really have to count my blessing, that despite going through such failure in relationship, I have wonderful friends, colleagues, a career and great work evironment to back me up and support me. I think perhaps that's why I am in this line, it's a sign and I'm glad. I think to a huge extend, the kids I see are actually treating me instead of me treating them. They cheered me up tonnes over and over again and they never fail to make me laugh (though sometime they make my blood boil at times too).