sigh

It's actually not about the drinking...I didn't expect you to wanna drink actually...I'll be happy enough to just spend time with you over dinner and if you gotta leave halfway, i'm fine with that....but the very first time when you said you're not coming at all...i just feel =( cos i thought i could spend new year eve with all you guys...sigh...

Sorry baby, i wont feel upset if u dun mean anything to me...

Anyway...spent the whole day helping a friend in the preparation for his proposal to his gf at the airport...

It was a success and everyone at the airport clapped for them...so so sweet...

Congrats to the couple o....

Shall blog again...freaking freaking tired...

Rambles...

I have a feeling it may fall flat and no one will enjoy the party.

I'm sorry I nearly blew my top. I couldn't help feeling a tad disappointed last night. Okay, the mango sago did make me feel alittle better.

I feel like raising my two hands and say 'Whatever' to everything around me. Every comment, every remark, every decision made.

Alot of things are replaceable, I think I'm just in denial mode. Give me time to accommodate to it. I'm sure I can get use to that soon...

I have never...

had such Great Christmas Eve!

Started my Christmas Eve by preparing salad and dessert. Went to Jessie's place for dinner. Turned out the dessert was pretty well liked by most peeps...hehe...happy...

Done with dinner, off we head down to Happy Daze for count down. It was alittle disappointing. We ended up not counting down, instead we were too busy trying to shun from the peeps who started the 'snow fight' with their sprays...nearly suffocated or rather intoxicated by the fumes that the sprays gave out.

Downed 4 shots then off we head to Somerset for the Martinis! Emerald no. 5 serves the best martinis! Had tonnes of them cos it was one for one.

Had so much fun downing the martinis and our round of games in ' I have never...' We were laughing our heads off and making so much noise that the couple at the next table found it interesting just watching us play.

No puking for me this time round. Wasnt smashed either despite tonnes of alcohol which was good, except that I missed a step and sprained my ankle while trying to go back to Jessie and Peifen.

Abrasions and sprained ankle...still....I had so much fun this year...so much more fun as compared to last year....Thank you girls for being there for me...

Hope everyone's Christmas this year trump the one they had last year!

It's been a year...

I remembered the details. Everything single thing that happened. The effort I spend trying to look for a decent Xmas present for you. The time I spent going back to exchange the gift because you said you didn't like the colour.

I remembered the quarrel we had over the bridge when everyone was counting down by the riverside. I remembered the tearing up of Xmas card, throwing them into the bin and the storming off part.

I remembered you looking for me. I remembered your angry face knowing I went back to my friends. I remembered running after you, trying to look for you. I remembered finding you sitting at the side of the pavement while still talking to me over the phone.

I remembered retrieving the torn cards. I remembered bursting out in tears while saying Merry Xmas to you. I remembered crying in your arms for a good few minutes. I remembered you giving me your sweater.

It's been a year.

Did I mention how much I hate Xmas?

My week...

Been out most of the time...Meeting friends, accompanying fen do her 'G' shopping, went tanning with nikki babe, went handsome's house to bum around...

here are some pics of the week...















Handsome was suppose to drive me home...Realised we havent had enough of chatting with each other so we decided to stop by some coffee shop for more catching up















The nite when handsome drove justin and I to cosy bay and geylang for dou huey...saw alot of hum sup ah peks, blangadesh workers and china ladies...eew...















Our tanning session...despite it rained all these while, we managed to get ourselves burnt! haha...so nice to just chill, tan and talk...though lying on the sand is still giving me the backache...















Jessie and I, we met up yesterday nite...decided we wanna have margaritas so headed down to cafe iguana...pink guava and mango were so yummy...















Ray joined us later...had more margaritas and then went to the pump room for more drinks...she refused to take pic...so....















i took a pic with her...dun rem ever taking pics with her alone leh...but i like this one...hehe...
















Jessie took this pic...dun rem what i was doing...















Wanted to take pic of jessie but she moved...or that my hands arent steady...haha...

Had such a fun nite! Looking forward to tomolo! Xmas eve!!!

Little ben ben

My nephews are ever so cute...you guys have already witness how cute auggy is...now it's time to witness how cute little ben ben is....

I dun rem auggy reacting to his name the way like his baby bro...this little ben ben's chuckles are soooo cute!

Damn....

I'm not only addicted to alcohol and caffeine...now I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy...and I just realised I spent my entire Sunday and Monday either sleeping or watching Grey's...

This is so not good...My entire bioclock is screwed up and I felt like a slob that cant leave my room until my Grey's addiction is fed....

Fat arse...I'm so so gonna jog tomorrow...

no more delays...I dun wanna be fat Jayna...

Damn the cable...

Sassy hot date!

Lovers: Yd, Ck, Sze, Fen, Yilong, Myself

Place for tonight's date: AMK coffee shop opposite Mayflower Sec

Things we need to do: Get our fingers dirty and lick them off clean

Chilly crabs! How can anyone resist eating them. Dear Sze initiated the meetup for tonight's crab session. It was sooooo fun!

Fun to see the Sim brothers who dun really eat that much of seafood to attempt eating them...

Fun to conduct a crab crash course for yd so that he knows how to eat crabs properly...

Fun to see each other dodge a little whenever the one sitting next to you attempt to split the crabs apart...

Fun to see yd attempting to break his teeth by biting into that hard hard shell...

Fun to see yilong digging those crab eggs out cos he finds it gross to eat them...

Fun to have sze peeling crab for moi...

Fun to see fen eating crabs as elegantly as she can...

Fun to see how ck gorging on crabs too...

Fun to see each other's shagged face after eating the crabs as though we've just completed marathon...

After dinner was movies at yd's place...crappy movies...seriously...but I had fun laughing my arse off at the scenes...eating ice cream and attempting to be the ice cream woman but failed...

Guys...appreciate you all making the effort to eat crabs with me, to satisfy my cravings, to do something that you seldom do, to eat something that you seldom eat...

I dun need fancy stuffs...I'm happy enough to have you guys willing to spend time with me =)

muack muack...love you all to bits!!

Pics for the week....

Been out meeting frens and eating lotsa food...damn...i'm getting fat...















My beloved goddaughter has grown so much over the past 6 months...she looks different from the last time I saw her...hehe...here's the pic of apple mommy trying to give xin xin her bite toy...
















Sze...went drinking with him last sat and then again yesterday...















The hiao po who took this pic herself....haha...
















I like this pic...except that it's blurred cos someone doesnt have a steady hand =p















Went to Plalana, after not being able to find seats and being scorched by someone's ciggy at Balaclava...I seriously condemn the place...stupid arseholes...smoke also dunno how to smoke properly...may you lungs turn black...















Downed 1.5L of beer last nite..woohoo...nice!
















Okie...this is the best 3 persons pic of all nite...the rest were either fen was out of pic or sze out of pic...not to mention the one that he placed the timer on...he was completely out of the frame...we need more practice peeps...come on man...

Dodo's wedding

Part of the reason why I decided to come back to Singapore was becos beloved cousin of mine is getting married...

We grew up together, we fought, she always made me cry ( okie...I admit...I'm a hum bao most of the time when I was young), I always imitated her, copied her even in the dresses I chose...

And now, seeing her getting married to her cute-sporting hubby, I'm truly happy for her...

Here are some pics...














Went to do hair for the wedding...from looking like an alien...














to doing french manicure for the first time....Really like my nails! Cos back when I was working, I was never able to keep my nails long nor put nail polish...hehe...feel very ladylike leh...















My look for dodo's church wedding...mind u hor...i wore peachy pink! sooo not my colour...but it's the bride's theme leh...so bo bian...haha...
















The tired couple....The morning for 'Zhuang men' we literally had to use our bodies to block the brothers...cos they played cheat...not only did they waste the chilli beer, they took forever to wear the red undies that I bought...only the groom was sporting enough to wear the red bra with two oranges in them...haha

And they guys made us sisters to kiss groom's dog on the mouth before letting us into his place!! @$#@$ Heng i like dogs and that Hatchi doesnt smell...
















Pretty dodo and me! I freaking hate my nose...big and shiny...puke puke
















Wedding dinner...in the hotel room..waiting to go down...















Me and kiddo...the only girl left in the Aw family who is not married...haha...when is ur turn arh?!

i wish...

If I can use one word to describe this pic...it will be 'carefree'...I have no idea what Auggy was laughing about...but he sure was enjoying himself...

I miss my baby boys...

Latest pictures of my baby boys...I miss them to bits...miss them sooooo much....















Auggy looking really smart in his winter uniform. So cute!



















He looked so funny in his daddy's shoes...hehe



















My parcel of 'Thomas and friends' reached him on Monday...he seemed to like the hat alot =) been calling home and trying to get me to thank me for it...so sweet hor...















This is little ben ben...you know...he seriously looks the same as Auggy at this age...SAME!!! I rem last time Auggy also have some photos with this kinda poses...look the same lor...















Very cute hor...got the shuai shuai look hehe...















Finger...yum yum....















In the process of covering my greys...kaoz...hairstylist said I have quite abit of greys again! !#@@!@#@!...sis asked me...what has aussie done to you...give u two cavities and white hair?? =p















Okie..this is my new look...one side shorter than the other...hope i dun look too toot....

The day with " you like it? you like it?...eh not really" storie...haha

My last dental appt was 3 years ago! Wow, I didn't realise that until I asked my dentist about the last visit I had with her. That record card even had my old house address instead of the current one. Freaking long ago! Perhaps I'm lucky, only had 2 cavities...hehe...eh...3 years never check leh...2 considered quite little okie =p

Went walking around AMK hub with mommy thereafter. Quite fun, except that I dun think my mama appreciate my choice of clothes for her...haha...kept saying too young...too bright...too trendy...doink...

Met up with handsome for dinner tonight. Was at Raffles City Starbucks, sipping my coffee, people watching, waiting for him to knock off...

It was the exact same spot in which I cried tonnes in public, to eve, to handsome...telling them how miserable I was on separate occasions but on that one single issue. Sigh, time flies...today, I just enjoy sitting there by myself, looking at the people buzzing passed...no more misery, I'm neither sad nor happy, just felt lighter...perhaps baggages are finally shedding off...

Had a great time chatting with handsome...so much to catch up upon over the past 6 months...so much to laugh about...with each other, at each other...hehe...it's this kinda connection that I've been missing, to hear from close friends and be heard with that tinge of attentiveness only they know how and can give to me =)

Meet up again soon...want you guys to see me until you wanna puke so as to make up for the remaining half a year when I'm not around...muah haha...

role reversal...

Parent no. 1: My bro ( not available in Singapore)
Parent no. 2: ME
Child no. 1: My dad
Child no. 2: My mom

Child no. 1: I WANT to go HK asap in dec...I CAN take the plane myself...You can go there with mom in Jan...your bro need help in doing the chores and looking after the little ones...I HAVE to go there in Dec...

Me: What's the hurry...they are adults, surely they can take care of themselves and the baby boys...no need to go so early lar...

Child no. 1: NO...I want to go there in Dec...

Child no. 2: I have doc appt on the 14 Dec...can book tix after 14 Dec or not...can can can?

Me: Okie...I'll try to get the airtickets for the two of after 14 Dec okie?

Child no. 1: I can go on 10...I can even go now...

Me: -__-"

So the whole freaking morning was spent with me in messy hair, stinky mouth and gooey eyes (I just woke up), checking airlines for the earliest date and cheapest deal for them to fly over to HK.

Finally we settled on 25 Dec noon flight. You know, working in JMC helped alot. Cos I dealt with difficult AND demanding patients, in this case, my parents. Mom was okie but it didnt quite help when she bugged me with the ' so now how?' every 5 min while I was doing the online booking.

I really wanna puke blood and die...and suddenly I feel so old as though I'm dealing with two kids...doink...

My consolation was that dad compensated me by treating me and mom for lunch- sushi. Then it was another round of " what is this arh...eh what is that....eh this one nice or not...." Hai yo...If not for me being therapist, having dealt with elderly and having the liking for dealing with kids as well...I think I will convulse and die on the spot with all these qn...

Sigh...okie lar...at least they are happy now...that's all I'll ask for...

freaked out...

I scared myself just now while I was at Robinson. I thought I saw him walking by the window. I thought it was him. Caught a glimpse and I actually froze on the spot, only to realise it wasn't him.

Was out with L and his friends last night. That place was showing the EPL. New Castle versus some other team. I thought of him. Sigh. I know, he'll be betting and watching the match too. I was secretly hoping that New Castle will lose.

Sigh...why did he pop out in my mind still...

I'm home!

The moment the plane touched down...I was grinning...cos I couldn't wait to see them...Soooooo happy to see them all...yd, fen, sze, yk, adrian, choon yew...

Feel so spoilt to be fetched and driven by the guys...thank you sooo much o...

Went home to put luggage, hugged mommy...called daddy...then zoomed out for supper at chomp chomp...

Finally get to eat stingray, cai tao guey, la la, rojak and drink sugarcane juice...yum yum...

Everything seems the same yet it comes with that tinge of unfamiliarity...Kinda weird....

I have so much to talk to yd they all...sooo much....i cant wait to hang out with them longer!!!

ray, jessie, angie, wan yee and chin han...we gotta meet up soon too!

Currently am stuffed and still smell of stingray when i burped...eeks...

waiting for hair to dry so that i can get my much needed sleep...

okie peeps...in case u need to reach me...call my singtel line...i'm still using it alright...

seeya ;)

Backdated stuffs...

Past two weeks went by so fast...before I know it, it's my turn to fly home...

Been out with the guys most of the time...monday was drinking with them and i was totally smashed...apparently i puked while sleeping...and they had to wash my hair for me and checked on me every 10 min to make sure that i dun choke and die from my puke...kaoz...so pai seh and unglam...no image infront of them man...thanx so much for taking care of me...hehe...

Been packing my stuffs into boxes to get them shifted to my new house...learnt to do wise packing such that i spread the weight and able to carry them myself since i didnt get the guys to help me...shifted 8 boxes of things today in my heels somemore...not bad right? haha...

met up with frens today after shifting too.....just feel great hanging out with them...eating...chatting...eating yummy ice cream...

had a lovely night out too...

okie need to do final packing and then sleep...

home sweet home...soon...

To Jessie

Happy Birthday!!!

Welcome to Club 25!

Muack...may all your wish come true! Hope you'll be having fun today!

funny...

Me: So..what do you want for your birthday?
Yk: It's okie...same lar...give me MONEY like what u and yd did last year...

Me: Wah liao...one year already and you're still at it...sorry lar...
Yk: Dunno what I want for birthday lar...

Me: Btw, I've bought you an aboriginal art piece that you requested...
Yk: o okie..thanx o..

Yk: o I know what my birthday wish is...To see you happily married with 7 kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat and 1 guinea pig...
Me: -_-" can...you find me a husband lo...

Yk: ONZ! any ethnicity also can hor...
Me: Yar...i'm pro multiracial mah...but I prefer ang mos cos I like ang mo babies more...

Yk: ha ha ha...

He never fails to crack me up every single time i chat with him online...goodness...

why is it so hard...

It still stings my heart...It's the third time I'm watching it...At the end of it, it still leaves this bitter sweet taste...

'I'm not a concept...I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own piece of mind...i'm not perfect...'

I think i'm still looking for mine...

Cookie

Met up with a fren this morning, it was nice weather...rainy but at least it's cooling...wasnt quite awake the whole time we hanged out...it's the weather man...made me wanna snuggle in bed...sorry about that...i'll be more awake the next time alright =)

It didnt help when I was told the meetup with Rickard, Harald, Janine, Emilie and all gotten pushed back from 5pm to 8pm...so there I was loitering within city for the 3rd day since beginning of this week...tiredness set in at about 4 plus...I couldnt take it anymore hence went to starbucks to get my 3 cup of coffee for the day...and read my book to pass the time...

Managed to finish my book...so decided to walk around abit...

Felt very much alone during this few hours...it's like you're surrounded by lots of ppl walking by but all you feel is the emptiness within...that's what I felt...empty to the core...It's not that I cant do things alone...it just feel different from how I felt back home even when I'm out all alone....I nearly wanna catch a tram and just head home becos of I was starting to feel kinda miserable...

But then again I didnt...decided to just hang around for awhile longer cos I really wanna meet up with this bunch of international students whom I got to know during this semester...

I'm glad I met up with them...It was nice to catch up...the pub was really cool and fun to chill at...we ended up teaching each other how to say the numbers in different language - german, spanish, mandrin etc...It was really fun...

Kinda sad that we're gonna go separate ways soon...

Tonite is more of a farewell gathering to all...sigh...hugged every single one of them when I was about to head home...hugged Rickard for the longest cos I am really gonna miss him...it's like we just had our surf trip together not long ago and now everyone is going off...

It's really really great knowing them all =)

ATTENTION PLS...

Was talking to Ck last nite...told me that his friend said I should stay in Aussie to work cos the prospect for OT is pretty good. But like I said, visa seemed to be a problem and Ck replied " then come back home...I miss shopping with you..." Eew...so sweet right?

Anyway details of my flight:
Be back on : 30th Nov

Flight no. : QF 9

Depart: 1710

Arrive : 2130

Will be at T1. Pls check the timing on the day itself hor, any delay not my business, dun complain you wait too long arh...but then again....i may be stuck at the liquor section and the DFS section...haha

Yd, fen, sze and yk...if none of you were there when I walk out of the arrival gate...I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE! Ck, you heng...cos you'll be in Sydney so you shall be spared =p

of cos I know you guys love me...so will definitely come and pick me up lar hor? Pls?? Then we can head to chomp chomp to eat stingray and then happy daze to drink beer...onz???

Miss you all lotsssssss.....

p/s: will be good if you guys make me a banner too....hahhaha....

Living alone means...

You have to kill fucking huge spiders yourself...I'm thankful they dun have lizards here...if not I will die...really...

you have to wash your own dishes after meals...not to mention cook them to the edible level first...

you have to entertain yourself when you are bored...

you have to do laundry which is piling up like a mountain...

you have to pack your stuffs and be prepared to shift those fucking heavy boxes to the new place alone...

It is freaking hot tonite...i am so contemplating to sleep naked...but then again...spiders ppl...spiders...eew...

blisters...

Bought a pair of new heels, wore them, ended up with blisters that gave me open wound. I thought I could bare with the pain and continue my day. I couldn't. Ended up getting another pair to free myself from the agony. Not that my threshold of pain went down but when the wounds start whoozing blood and fluid, one has no choice but to give up and find alternatives.

And no, plasters didn't work. I ain't dumb. Bought a box of plasters, used up almost half of them, kept changing them whenever they came off, tried different ways of sticking them and it still didn't work. That's when I decided to give up. Yes, only when the wound started to get worst and whoozed blood.

It's always the case...

I did try my best to hold on to it, tried to make it work, tried to stretch my threshold...

What did I get in return? Pain and agony...

Now I'm left with scars and potential phobia...

And in case you didn't notice...

It's back to haunt me...

Backdated photos...

Birthday party for Rickard, Therese and Sven















We were at this outdoor rooftop place, pretty nice place to chill and talk. Great for birthday party! Though we dun know all the ppl there, it's great to just sit and talk, no awkwardness at all...fun fun!















Food and alcohol...i think we looked abit sleepy here





















Harald's food came last...hence for this pic...he was hungry! haha...















The birthday boys and girl...















Rickard and I...my favourite uncle...haha...knew him since orientation and surf trip...
Always bum into him and Harald in the lib...always like to bug him cos he's forever so cute and funny...they'll be going home after this sem...gonna miss them man...















Ally and Emilie...sweet french girl whom we got to know since orientation and surf trip...
Also going home after this sem =(















Emilie and me...















Took turns to take photo with birthday boy...
















amanda and rickard

so loved...

it's suppose to be spring now, yet it's still fucking cold...cold on the outside, cold on the inside, wtf...weather is weird...

finally submitted my final papers, went out for a movie and had 3 beers...seeking solace in my much needed alcohol...

received my parcel today and it's my favourite movie! Ck baby, Thank yo so much! It's the little details that I appreciate...am so gonna watch it over and over again! Muack muack...

Am now in a fuck care mode...dun wanna ask, dun wanna care, dun wanna do anything, dun wanna know....

brian dead...

Perhaps I care too much, perhaps I assume I saw a glimpse of my shadow in her, I should have just let it be...

~doink~ too much a busybody when I myself dunno any better...yes, I shall be a stingy nun and zip up from now on...it's my ears that people want afterall, not my mouth or brain...certainly not my opinions....

Anyway...obesity is driving me nuts...I'm still in the process of coughing out another 2000 words...sigh...I seriously cant think of anymore things to write...how....I can't wait for tomorrow, then I can go jogging, go drinking, go shopping!

And I miss playing squash...jes, ray, angie and wanyee...can we have a squash session when I go back? I really miss you girls and surprisingly I miss my 110g racket...alot...

so loved...

Little things that I appreciate in life and that's why I love them so much...

Handsome told his mama that I missed chilly crabs and now I have date with his mom cos Auntie agreed to cook for me! Feel so loved can...Thank you auntie! I'll help you wash plates!

Calvin promised to bring me and princess to eat chilly crab too...yeah yeah...

Sze said we'll have a chilly crab feast! He'll wash and kill the crabs and I'll cook them...

Ck is sending me postcard...i'm still waiting...hehe...

One of the days when I felt depressed and unwanted...I messaged fen...here's how our conversation went...

Me: babe...what are you doing?
Fen: Hey babe, am okie. Besides missing you, as usual.

Me: Eh...by 30 if I not married, will you marry me?
Fen: of cos! But you propose to me with a diamond ring can? I sure say yes one!

Me: Wah biang...diamond ring...eh I also want leh. Why not we each buy a diamond ring and proposed to each other? I want tear-drop shape one hor...
Fen: Ok lah. We plan a romantic trip overseas and propose to each other!

Me: Onz! I wanna go Figi island! We go skydiving then we propose to each other while jumping off the plane! We'll probably pee in our pants but dunnoe know is it cos of the height or cos of marriage...hahahha
Fen: Good idea! Then we can hug together and scream and shit! We are such a perfect match for each other!!

You know, when I asked if she's gonna marry me, I tot her respond would be ' siao!' or she would console me with ' no lar you sure can get married one...'

She had me at 'diamond ring' ....really...it made me smile for the rest of the day...

o and did I mentioned Sze sent me an erotic picture with 'Her strong arms cradled him as he laid back in panicked excitement, helpless in rapture: When a warrior breaks...' postcard...

I was smiling so happily while reading the lovely words that he wrote to me...

Smile went into to hysterical laughters when I read the fine lines at the bottom of the postcard cos it goes ' There's no such thing as weaker sex....visit www.letstalkaboutsex.sg/woman for more information....Health Promotion Board - Project Women against AIDS'
Everything ended with " no offense ya...just found ths picture and description eye catchy..."

Same effect...he made my day with me laughing and swearing...all at the same time

How not to love my friends you tell me?

P/s: Sze....I havent told you this...I have a surprise for you! wait okie...i'll send it to you when i'm done with my essay ~angelic smile~

Halloween...

I is jealous...I have always wanted to go for Halloween party but never had the chance to...even now...i cant cos rushing assignment...

Auggy beats me to it man...he's having a party in schl tomolo and he's dressing up as a tiger...why tiger? i dunno...but sis said she asked him on 3 different occasions, 3 times his ans was 'tiger'...so he seemed pretty serious about it...so much for a 2 yo..haha...here's a preview of his outfit...i hope sis can draw whiskers on his face tomolo!















so cute right! i think he's trying to roar here...haha...i wish i can go trick and treat with him...o man..it'll be so fun!

sis said next year she knows what outfit to get for auggy...how she knows?

her dad asked :"next year be superman?"
auggy: "no"
sis asked: "be spider man?"
auggy: " no"
sis: "then what you wanna be?"
auggy: "ultraman!"

doink doink doink...he is sooo like bro man...

Rambles...

You know how when you've reached a certain age and you can't avoid but have to start doing things alone - cook alone, eat alone, watch movie alone, wash clothes alone, sleep alone and live alone...

Either you get use to this lifestyle or...you start to fear the possibility of yourself doing that for the rest of your life and you try to look for the so-call lifetime partner or soul mate...

So what happens if one is comfortable with being alone but deem as a deviant by kins??

5 years from stepping on the big 3...I can already foresee that scenario with me being the main actress...

In fact, I can foresee my relatives asking me 'so when will it be your turn arh' during dodo's wedding this coming Dec...

they better not ask me...if they do...hmm...I'm still trying to think of an ans that will shut them up...for good...

'When my tummy is big, you'll know i'm getting married...'
or
'Another 10 years? I'm still waiting for my boyfriend to hit the legal age of having sex...'
or
'Tomorrow! Didnt Mom invite you guys for the dinner? I told her to inform all of you!'
or
Maybe I'll just pretend not hearing those questions and gorge myself silly with the sharks' fin soup...

btw there is sharks' fin soup right???

Happy.....

it's amazing how technology makes wonder...

I finally get to skype with auggy and he sang cuppy cupcake song to me via webcam...

I get to see fat little ben ben sleeping....

and to my surprise...my bro actually has a facebook account...muah haha...

I just called mom to wish her happy birthday but she like not surprised leh...hai yar...no fun...

anyway back to work...feeling abit stress all over again...o man...

Happy 60th Birthday!

I know it's your birthday today, what I didn't realise is that this year is your 60th birthday and neither one of us is around to celebrate with you except dad.

Happy 60th Birthday, Mommy...wish you health and beauty =) May you be youthful always!

Love you lotss...Muack!

For my babe

I feel your ache...

I hope you'll feel better soon...yes give yourself time to heal but soon k...

We'll go London to work and pick our ang mo 'thorns' ;)

Love you babe...

laughing my head off...

Yd replied my sms...saying that he loves me enough to accept and compromise the new me...so sweet right...so i put that up on msn...

and this is the respond i get from my bro...

DieselBoB says: 交男朋友很应该，交女朋友就不好了

~Doink~ I nearly wanna flip from my chair....
What gives him the impression that i'm a lesbian...

I ish like men Men MEN!

btw...just did webcam with my auggy and ben ben plus sis and bro...

soooo cute can...auggy gave me flying kisses...hai yo...melt melt

still taste better on its own...

and so with less than 2 hours of sleep, Alison and I managed to pull our slides together and present them to the class today...

it was fun, at least we managed to get peeps to respond and managed to maintain their level of interest on the topic...

good job ally! I hope you're sleeping and getting enough rest now...

I wanted to sleep at 7 but simply couldnt get to sleep...

soon soon...btw..white wine and coffee...mixed...outlook is yucky...tasted so so....

coffee with bailey is still the best mix...

stress...

I need to shout...F!@#@$@#!!!

Presentations: 2 - 1 down 1 to go (1 today, 1 tomorrow)

Essays/reports: 6 - 3 down 3 more to go...to squeeze out 9500 words from my puny brain...

Exams: 1 next fri...

You think white wine and coffee will taste good?

I'll find out and let you know later...

My boys...

Fat ben ben flying...



Auggy singing hokkien song...



And he sings itsy bitsy spider...

high on caffeine...

had 4 cups of coffee today....cant seem to sleep...so shall update my blog with some pics...















carbonara pasta that we attempted ages ago...nice nice...abit eggy in the end though...















Chicken thighs that we roasted with sauce, carrots and potatos...yummy...















days when i have to cook for myself...noodles...with veg, chicken wings and egg...not back lar...aint that unhealthy i suppose...















told you about my bed being occupied by papers...ta daa....articles lying around...i slept with that for like 2 nights...sad...so sad....haha....

Auggy auggy auggy...

Just spoken to Auggy...he called me, gu gu! ~melt melt~

Gee...he knows how to speak full sentences now...and he speaks so clearly...

Told me, ye ye is in singapore and that he called back to talk to nai nai...

Gosh soo cute! Makes me miss him even more...

Missing out so much on his growing up process...

I am soooo gonna spend one month in HK...I can't wait!

Freaky freak freak...

Lately I'm buried under the heaps of assignments and presentations such that I often fell asleep either while reading articles or typing stuffs. Yes, that's how tired I am at times.

Half of my bed is covered by articles instead of ~cough~man~cough (joking lar joking)...Back in the old days, the floor of my room will be well covered by tonnes of papers...you have to maneuver your way in order to get around within my room ...now it has simply upgraded to papers invading my sleeping space...imagine this - queen size bed, half occupied by papers and the worst thing is sometimes my quilt ended up covering the papers too cos it's too big. Damn it, my sleeping partner is not my teddy bear nor pillow nor human...it's papers...PAPERS...sigh...

Another freaky thing...

despite me being soo tired from all the readings and typings...I actually dreamt of him last nite...very vivid dreams....very real...dreamt that we were having lunch like the old times....dreamt that we bumped into my friends who happened to know him...wah liao eh...

get out pls get out...I dun have enough memory space to wanna even recall or dream of him...

Dreams like that will linger in my brain and occupy maybe 1GB of space (like the nano he bought me...ha)....now I'm only left with 39GB for my 4 essays and 2 presentations....cannot man...

Shall reformat that diskspace....

see i'm typing nonsense...

my eternal sunshine...

I love his smile...i miss his smile...

it's about time to start the ration...

I fucking hate it when non-related ppl make their problems my responsibility to solve...

fucking landlord gave me the electricity bills to show me how much excess there was...excuse me...you're the landlord...it is YOUR responsibility to deal with the bills yourself...if you wanna charge excess, charge...dun make me stand there and asked me to help you solve the problem...it is not my fucking responsibility to help you justify or come up with pathetic excuses to overcharge us...

missy here has been very patient all along...but if you step on my tail...I'm gonna snap big time...

yes, banker pushed my limit beyond god-knows how far...my patience with ppl has always been that high...but currently with the fact that i'm living alone...it is just too tiring for me to compromise ALL the time...to EVERY single person...

No one will care if i dun care for myself...so wth...I dun wanna be that miss full-of-patience shit anymore....i hate the feeling of being shortchanged...

yes i'm a selfish bitch...yes i'm self centred...i'm not here to please everyone in my path...so dun expect me to be all smiley if i dun find you worth my energy to spend my portion of patience upon...

ha ha ha

eh i said i needed blood in previous blog...no response...no one loves moi...

except fen...she said she'll donate her blood to me in future if we stay together and that if she made me puke blood excessively...haha...same blood type somemore...good good...

this silly girl, declared accessories in the parcel but not the piggy mooncake, 2 lanterns and a pack of candles along with some of my clothings and heels...in the end accessories cannot send but the food and flammable stuffs got sent to my door step...how funny is that...

and one of the piggy biscuits is in purple basket somemore! haha both my favourite!

You know you're an alcoholic when...

your cousin who is doing research on social work needed to survey someone who drinks...and she immediately emailed me...why?

cos my mom told her i drink...doink doink doink...

And you know you're an alcoholic when...

your buddy thinks of you whenever she sees heineken...and she made the effort to dig thru her collection of postcards just so that she can send you a heineken postcard....

Hi, I'm Jayna, I'm an alcoholic....@#!@$@#$

" and they try to make me go to rehab, and i say no no no..." muah haha haha...

25 and ?

I think I've lost it. Lost the ability to feel, to think, to reflect.

I haven't been in touch with my emotions because I've been busy trying to move forward, to be in control, to be strong on my own and not rely on anyone.

Learning to do things myself was never easy. I'm the youngest child, a spoilt one too. Am always the one to test my parent's limit, the one who rebel, the one who is out of the norm.

So, where will I be 5 years down the road? Will I still be that spoilt child who wasted so much time and money, taking the longer path life?

What's next?

And so it is...

HERE!

Missy here have been waiting for months...14 weeks to be exact...can you imagine that? not that it's anything unusual since teenage years...

Imagine the amount of money I've saved on purchasing THE products...Luckily I didnt lup all those stuffs into my already-limited-weight luggage...

Now will you excuse me, while I continue nursing in bed with occasional vulgarities spilling out from my sweet sweet mouth when the next tidal wave cramp hit moi...


O and I think 14 weeks of no bleeding...I may bleed to death this time round...so will any kind soul with A+ blood type, donate some blood to me...

Unless you're telling me no one loves me and wanna see me die...

your turn...

I'm turning yellow...I miss sun tanning with you at Sentosa...I miss lazing on the beach chairs, flipping magazines and ogling at cute ' ppl ' with you...

~I was typing this, then you called...haha....great talking to you...havent had a proper chat with you for so darn long...miss you soooooo much.....

muack....catch you soon...hopefully in nov!!!

I was walking home just now, with howling wind blowing behind me...pushing me forward...it's so cold....

At times my pace was too slow to accommodate to the rate that it was blowing at me...

It's not that I didnt try, it's not that I don't want to move forward.

I've tried, walking as fast as my legs can afford to carry me...

But I'm still being pushed...

It's not that I didn't move..at all or fast enough...

My pace seemed too slow for the wind...it just pushes me forward no matter how...

I wanna move ahead quick...fast....but how come I always find myself being pushed despite myself moving forward....

I hate it...

I need to be in control...I have to be in control....

Urgh....

Fuck shit...

me and my itchy hand...

Pea brain, pea brain, pea brain...

Damn it....

Sigh

I couldn't sleep last night. And when I finally did, I actually dreamt of him...

Dreamt that I bummed into him just like how we did the other time under the UOB building. I dreamt that he pulled my arm and wanted to talk to me but I refused to. I walked on...

I hope in real life I won't be able to recognize his face among the crowd. That I'll be the usual blur self and walk my own path. Like how I did the past two times when mr h saw me but not the other way round until my pal pointed out to me and until mr h, himself smsed me....

The usual me will smile, at people I rarely know; at people whom I just got to know; at little babies or toddlers; at old granny or grandpa; at nasty patients or clients even. That's just me. It doesn't hurt to smile, I smile to myself at times when I'm happy, I smile at dogs even. A little nutty, yes I admit.

But to you, if I ever see you again, I dun want to smile at you, I dun want to be able to recognize you because frankly I won't know how to react if i really bummed into you again....

I seriously hope that it will not happen in real life...

I need inspiration...

to cook for myself. Think if I were to live alone, I'll die from eating the same type of food over and over again....am on the verge of becoming vegtarian, considering I stock up more variety of veg than meat...

Yes, miss yeong here lacks the creativity when it comes to food. Who marry me who suey....haha...

Handsome, have you safely reached Thailand? What a pity you've only stayed for 45 min at the Oktoberfest...I dun think you can finish their huge jug of beer in 45 min leh...muah haha...Why do I have this image of you foaming in your mouth...haha...

Gee....I feel like eating thai food now...

I fell in love....

With Amy Winehouse's songs!

So addicted to her songs now! Check out her song ' You know I'm no good' Really funny and nice...loooove her voice....

Went clubbing with fellow course mates and singaporean friends on Sat nite...Freaking fun!

Head down to music festival where the whole street was blocked off for street performance, beer, food, drinks, clothings etc...fun to walk around with music blasting everywhere and lots of doggies around too!

Proceeded to Royal Melbourne show which is a huge once-a-year carnival! Lots of rides, farm animals, showbags and food! Bought one girly showbag and a 'Thomas and Friends' showbag for auggy and little ben ben. More excited on the 'Thomas and Friends' showbag cos it's quite a steal...there's like little schl bag, cup, torch light, beach mat...really really cute stuffs! gonna send it over to them! hehe

break week...but am drowning with paper work...gonna get my arse down to do work...ciao~

I HATE CHINAMAN!

Dear MALE housemate,

What makes you think I will wanna have red wine and watch movie on your laptop with YOU?! or better still in your room?!

And you knocking my door at fucking 3 am, just really PISSED me off.

Common sense will tell you that if you knocked the first time, second time and by the THIRD time I ain't getting the door, it'll mean I'm asleep! Master student, use your brain can?! You not only fucking woke me up, I had trouble falling back to sleep....it's schl hols now....so am going shopping and clubbing today...i bloody need the sleep...

Fucking pissed off...I have never been soooo bloody pissed before...

I hate chinaman...young or old...handsome or ugly...i just hate chinaman...

and if you knock on my door again...YOU DIE...~ROAR~

Bitch, bitch, bitch

Feeling edgy lately. Snappy even. Forgive me if I snapped at any of you.

Making myself happy with Amy Winehouse's songs! hahaha...Love her voice!

Just played with google earth! Freaking fun! Someone sent me his location and future house via google earth and it's so freaking cool to be able to see the exact location!

Okie...gotta pack and go home..am in the lib btw...

Hope I won't drown too badly in 'death, dying and grief' infor...argh argh....

Which Desperate Housewives Character Are You?
	You are Lynette. You are hard-working, responsible, and mature, but you are easily stressed-out and often feel trapped in your own life.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com