the loooong corridor

singapore binnale

cindy and I at JMC

yes in my room again...

baby boy in room...

~monday~
went over NTU to join handsome and his friends in the core exercises...
da bao dinner over and ate in his room...started chatting about 'will and grace' and boy do i miss watching it...miss karen, jack, will and of cos grace!

the run within NIE was alright, much like a warmup...gym stations were THE killer esp those related to upper limbs...i had such a hard time doing them...even needed yd to help me lift the weight a bit...i think any more weight added my forearm will break man...

lower limbs exercises were alright for me...but not for yd...muah haha...he needs to moan in order to have THE energy to pull the machine up with his calves...it was hilarious and not to mention entertaining to see his facial expression through out the whole process...haha...good work out eh handsome...

till today...my arms dun seem mine...my hamstrings are tight...i'm aching all over...argh...but i do like the achy feeling...haha

~tuesday~
last min arrangement with my colleague to watch 'the guardian' cos he had free tics
went for dinner and shopped for a gift at tangs in vivo city before heading for the show...

movie was good except that we had to sit in the front row...strained my neck man...

~wednesday~
had to attend my colleague's wedding in the evening...
princess and i knocked off 15 min earlier and off we went to her place to bathe, change and doll ourselves up...

finally i get to see my fellow OT colleagues and my boss at the wedding...o man miss them so much...enjoyed myself during the dinner...chatting and updating them about on going events at jmc...

food was alright...perhaps i was hungry cos i ate quite alot..haha...the band at the wedding was good...jazz songs set the mood man...

got home at around 1130...and i concussed straight away....

tiring week!!! i need more sleep....

Yippee!!! gonna be an aunt again coming next june! soooo excited and happy!!! imagine another auggy walking around at home...muah haha...fun fun...

sis said maybe this time it's a girl...cos all the symptoms are different...she's been puking alot for this pregnancy...can only eat bland food....so poor thing...

meanwhile poor little chap has been sleeping in the living room with my dad cos sis is simply too tired to nurse him at nite...and my mom cant handle him thru the nite...cos she'll be lacked of sleep and will end up with headache...

went to see my god daugther yesterday...little yi xin....she's got alot of hair man....more than my auggy...haha...she slept thru the whole celebration of her man yue...rarely open her big eyes leh...very cute and chubby o...till i figure out how to transfer photos from my phone to com....i'll upload all the photos i've taken with my new phone =)

finally i get to see more than 1 pt today...the most challenging one...was not about her diagnosis...it was that i had to babysit her grandson and carry out treatment at the same time....

this little fellow is 1 year old++...juz like auggy...but he has more hair and walks more steadily than my baby boy....pretty cute too...

the moment he came into my treatment room...he started opening and closing drawers...imagine i had to lock and plug out the keys for every single drawer and cabinet...then half way thru the treatment session he started whining and asking for his granny to carry him...there was no way she could do that cos i gave her paraffin bath for one of her hands...in the end...i had to carry the baby and talk to the granny at the same time...

that's not all...the little boy started eating and spitting onto the floor...hai yo i have to go after him to clean him up and clean my room up...

in the end i had to cut short the treatment session cos the little boy started crying and wanting to get out the room....

the thing is...through out the whole session i didnt feel any tinge of frustration or anger at all leh...i can even try to explain to the granny all the exercises that she needs to do in the midst of the little boy crying....i wonder if the level of my patience has gone up a notch higher....or that auggy has trained me to be able to handle baby crisis thru and thru...hmm...seriously i didnt know i can tahan the whole thing...haha...

went sun tanning at sentosa on sat...it was fun!! weather was slightly gloomy at first but it turned out pretty nice a weather to be tanning in...

juz when we were baking ourselves, dozing off on the beach comfortably...this funny little dog came running...smearing his wet and sandy self on the 3 of us...and the best part was...he started rubbing his body on my tanning cloth as though trying to clean himself dry -_- luckily he didnt pee on us...if not i sure wack his tiny little butt to give him some toilet training...keke

done with tanning...went to to vivo to walk around...huge shopping place...tonnes of ppl...and becos it was crowded...my bag was often bummed and hit by others...and that pissed me off...yes i have big bag...but that doesnt mean u need to bum my bag when u walk pass....so irritating...

evening time...went to timbre again...this time round to see unxpected's performance in the open air...the food there is really good and so it the service and the alcohol...with the good band and good bunch of company...i had a real good time...

gals...thanx for sending me home last nite....as always drinking can never be as fun without the 3 of you...

was talking to aud last nite...she asked me how was i feeling...i guess subconsciously i've already had enough of the crap that he gave...so much so that it wasnt that hard this time round...i've really really really reached my limit of tolerance...i've tried so hard but now i juz feel exhausted....

and like what she said...i'm suppressing my emotions so that i dun have to feel anything at the moment...truth is i cant afford to let it out...i still need to work and face people every single day...

i wish i'm back at AH...i can at least push myself and take my mind off by seeing patients one after another...at least that was how i coped previously and that was why i lost so much weight during that period of time...stress, attachment in hands, being dumped...

i'm sorry if my blog sound boring lately...but juz for this period of time...at least let me get these things out of my system before i can safely say the old me is back...i'll bounce back...juz not at the moment...

this time round it's for real and it's starting to sink in...no msges no calls...not even an apology...which probably mean things got better after him not contacting me?

i didnt know i have such power to jinx ppl...whatever it is...i still hope that with me making the exit, things will perhaps turn better for him...

i know i've been very silly all these while...instead of learning to grow up...i'm going backward instead...

sux...I hate the feeling that i'm getting now...why do u keep blaming me for things that i have utterly no control of...i really have enough of these nonsense...

lost my phone in the cab on tuesday wee morning....damn...all my precious baby boy's photos are gone...gotten sim card replaced but using old faulty phone at the moment....still thinking if i should get a new phone...

went to sid's house for dinner on hari raya...nice food esp the chocolate cake...though i was the only friend there...didnt feel that awkward...maybe last life i was a malay...muah haha

ck, if u're reading this...u still owe me big big for flying my kite last min...do it again and i'll bite ur head off...

bored...thought first day will be hectic...but i only got to see one patient so far...

the good thing about my new work place is that i have a room and a computer all to myself...and i can decorate my work place...haha...i've placed the turtle on my pc...have decided to name it xiao bai (sorry chin han...didnt mean to use ur name...haha)...juz feel that the name suits the turtle =p very cute!

anyway i cant wait for weekends to come...will get to see little darrell! yeah yeah...perhaps this will be our jc gathering too...since most of the jc classmates are being invited...

suddenly i feel like doing mean things...argh...feel like screaming my lungs out...why do i always torment myself...why am i so weak emotionally...why why why....i think i do it deliberately so that i can feel the pain to stay alive...argh...wat am i doing....

i miss my colleagues in AH...one of them is sweet enough to buy me the 3-D turtle puzzle that i was looking for...i've gotten it fixed and it looked juz like the real one...so cute...shall have it placed in the office tomolo...

have to fight a war tomorrow....i hate it when i'm not in control of situation...feel so insecure...i hope the consultants will be merciful and not refer so many cases to me at one shot...

no matter how hard it is...i'll juz have to survive thru and thru...if i can get thru this jmc set up i'll be happy enough...

Little apple is out! 13/10/2006 11.40pm!

gonna go KKH to visit the mommy and baby later! so exciting! one baby after another! this time round is my goddaughter! woo hoo!

coming next sat is little darrell's one month...so fast right?! haha...

my little one at home juz starting to walk...he's so darn cute and cheeky...hehe...

anyway gotta go...

really tired...i should get back to my jogging soon...but with the haze going on...forget about it man...i'll choke on the haze...the air was darn smelly...eek...

btw took up fitness challenge last fri with my colleague...timing for my 2.4km was 12.14 min...and he got ahead of me by 1 s...wah haha....good to have someone to pace u when u jog...but i was aiming for 11 min plus...guess going up the slope twice was the killer for me...i would usually scream when i ran up slope...and my colleague will juz laugh at me cos he knows i really hated slopes....but by the second round...i was too darn tired to even complain...

placing my focus on work...been feeling tired again lately...dunno is it the weather or my body's condition...been eating quite abit too...o man i need to maintain my figure leh...cousin's wedding coming soon and i've bought a really nice dress for the occasion...cant afford to look pudgy...

met up to talk...watever it is...let it be...

he screamed his lungs out...hit the wall and pushed the fan onto floor...

i've grown up with him but i've never seen him behaved this way ever...it's as though he was crazy and couldnt stop himself...cracked under the pressure...he lost it completely for the moment...

i was so darn scared...nearly burst out crying...cos there was only two of us at home...i dunno know wat to do...i can only pick up the fallen fan...passed him water to calm him down...talk sense to him though i know nothing can get into his ears...

i still cant quite shake off the look on his face when he cracked that nite...i think she should see how he looked...perhaps she'll know how much stress he was under...

i know i shouldnt cry...but i still did...

latest update...

gotten back my life and freedom today...took me this long to get to this stage isnt it...chance was given but misused despite me deliberately asking him about it...since he has the cheek not to admit it...then no point going on from there...

i hope he goes busted one day...judging from the way it goes...he's not ready for anything...except being a child trapped in an adult suit...

anyway...gina gave birth to her baby boy today! so proud of her! went thru 12 hours of labour...she looked so exhausted when i went to visit her...hehe managed to carry her baby for a short while! so so cute! reminds me of the time when auggy was born....

gonna go sleep...i'm tired...

belly piercing here i come!

feeling blue...why?

am i being appreciated both at work and in relationship...somehow i always get this feeling that both can do with or without my presence...

anything can be replaced...ultimately one juz has to learn...to live and be alone somehow...

flipped thru the diary i've written years ago...the poem i wrote still stand...it was dark but so true...wrote it in chinese though...back then my chinese was so much better...ha

suddenly i miss someone...miss hanging out with her...i think it's been a year or so since we last meet up...how come things turn out this way? why is it that she finds it unbearable to talk to me...

last monday...we nearly rammed into the bus while on the way to collect my screen...half the time during the ride i was trying to anchor myself so that i wont fly off the bike...i'm not that light am i...hmm....

we were close...so close...rammed my head into bro's helmet when he e-brake...thankfully the bike didnt skid or fell side way...the engine juz went dead after that...

i can't help but think wat would have happened if bro didnt e-brake fast enough...i can't bear the thought of him being injured...he juz started his fatherhood...so much more awaiting him to explore and experience with auggy...

if i were injured...i think i'll suffer from multiple fractures...looking at how small my bone structure...and with that maybe i'll die on the spot...cos all the factures may be juz poking into my organs and making me bleed to death...at least be dead on the spot will be good...i dun wanna be a burden to anyone...

i havent quite been able to fall sleep lately..

i'm a happy girl now...cos i've juz gotten my lcd screen from adrian! muah haha...no more fuzzy screen!!! thanx adrian!

now i''m stuck to my com...trying to type my reports...haha...although it's work...i dun mind at all cos i no longer need to strain my eyes!!!

i havent been saving up much since i start working...this is bad...i've got to start a new acc with no card and start saving up with my next salary...if not i'm never gonna be able to afford a lappy which i need when i go oversea...

gtg liao...will blog more tomolo!

was feeling sooo tired today...perhaps the 2 days course broke my momentum for work...juz feeling plain drained and lousy mood today...esp after the meeting...sigh...

wonder if my tiredness is due to my low blood pressure or that i'm juz not getting enough rest...

went for health screening the previous week....and my BP was 90/53! Never knew that my BP was that low...o well...my weight is still the same...43 kg...will have to wait for the blood test results to be out...hopefully nothing is wrong with my body system...

been having weird dreams lately...disrrupt my sleep...makes me feel even more tired despite me sleeping alot....i miss last friday nite so so much...cos i get to watch movie and sleep in till 1.30pm the next day...feels so good to laze around with no burden from work...

did i mention...i zonked out on sat nite...with ray, jessie and peifen....i puked so much that i was still puking the very next day...that was how bad my hangover was...damn...no more death drop or drop dead...i think i've come to the stage where my body juz cant take so much alcohol like i used to 2 years back....the fact that i need one whole day to recover tells me that i can only take 2-3 beers next time...shots will juz kill me man....

as sian as i felt at the end of the day...as low as i felt when i knocked off....i'm pretty glad that i get to meet up with ck and james to catch the cosmetic-surgeon-directed-typical-singaporean-with-no-climax-hokkien-local film...

and also to hear from someone trying to cheer me up and making sure that i'm feeling alright...

gtg...i need to sleep....

so sorry for not updating my blog religiously...been feeling lazy to update esp after work and with my fuzzy screen...i have no choice but to shut down my computer before i blind myself...

soon...i'm getting my lcd screen fixed...getting a sceond hand screen...cos it's cheaper and i wont be around next year so no point getting a new one...letting it get dusty and spoilt all over again...

adrian, if u're reading my blog...thanx for helping me ask ur fren...i know i keep changing my mind...thanx for being patient with me...

updates in my life...

1 september...i've become former AH staff...but HR havent drafted out the new contract yet...in the process of creating it i think...

and by oct 18 i'll have to go JMC....after all the changes...i'm still going to boon lay to work afterall...excited and scared at the same time...cos i'll be all alone...o man...

i finally went back schl for squash...it felt so good to be back...and my skills dropped like nobody's business...sigh...o recently there's safra novice open competition...my mates participated and i've been down to support them...so happy to see them play and compete...think i need to brush up my skills before entering any competition...=p

i've juz helped nikki changed her flight...wah biang...the operator's aussie accent so strong...think i'll die there leh...how how how....

My baby auggy...he's already one year old now...will soon be promoted from being a baby to an annoying toddler...hehe...but i still love him...very very much...

Ah ping...dun mind i take the pic from ur blog lah hor...hehe...hope u guys had fun with auggy during that yum cha session!

Yd...you havent seen auggy in person yet hor?!

click click click....that's wat i caught yesterday with my dear squashies...been a while since we went for a movie...man i so proud of myself for resisting the temptation of going out to drink with them after the movie...if not for work...i would have gone for it...full force...haha...

did car transfer with my pt today...so cool...mpv leh...haha...bit high though...luckily the pt doesnt require maximum assistance...if not i sure pengz...actually my initial plan was to practise with him via the cab that was donated by tibs which is permanently parked in AH...but then the son suggested practising using his car...so i was like 'oo...all the better...let's do it...' heng i didnt scratch his car or create a new dent...

lately there's cute looking docs and nurses around...keke...makes the whole hospital scenary a little more bearable....

Happy National Day!

becos it's the country's bday today...i shall blog in red =p

yesterday was the first time i handle weight management...pretty weird and overwhelming to talk to a group of ppl as well as individuals regarding their problems...still have so much to learn when i'm conversing with different ppl...

ended work late...thought i would have to go home to have dinner alone...hehe luckily ck called up and ask if i wanna meet for dinner...so me, yd,him, james and fen met up in town to go makan...

indeed, the malay food is pretty nice...thanxing for the recommendation james...i missed sitting at round table to eat...like a big family...the eating and chatting makes the food even nicer...hehe

after dinner...it's chill out time! have always wanted to go the irish pub at somerset...finally i get to go last nite...o well...beer is the same...juz that the crowd consist of more ang mos and louder clients...anyway i quite like the wooden high table and chairs...so fun to sit there...drink and chat...laugh and be mocked at for fen's and my plan to go malacca over the weekend...

hehe...i'm planning for a trip afterall...juz not that far off yet...haha

low...feeling bloody low...

how come i feel redundant in all aspects of my life...

i'm here dangling in the air not knowing if my contract is going to end or not...why cant they give me an ans...

and so i'm gonna be replaced and will be handing over my load...maybe i should juz leave...

i wonder if i can go for those work as you travel thingy...do i need to pay alot?

and so my boss told me she's thinking of ways to tell the HR department to extend my contract...as what she told me today...she and her boss (who is my boss' boss) want to keep me at AH but trying to find ways and valid reason cos by mid august...their scholar will be back and there may be more than enough therapists around...but problem now is that they will be shorthanded again come next year january as my colleague is going overseas to pursue her PhD...by then it will be a hassel to hire someone new again...

nothing is confirm...so i'll just wait and see how things go...appreciate that my bosses are willing to keep me...but anyhow i'm prepared to end the contract and take a break...afterall i dun wanna pin my hope then end up getting disappointed...i do need a break afterall...

mananged to pull thru my inservice presentation today =p keke we ended up discussing about other OT related stuffs...pretty good sharing session among the therapists...

slept for 3 hours last nite...gonna sleep soon man...

anyway caught movies with fen and ck lately...sat went to watch 'the lake house' ....wah nice leh...storyline actually aint too bad..plus it features my hunk-keanu reeves!!!~melt~

went to watch 'thank you for smoking' with fen yesterday....really good and witty show...moral of the story...everyone is good in something...it juz depends on how u use ur talent...go watch it...the scriptwriter is really witty with the conversations written out...and guess wat...they mention 'will and grace' in the movie too...that's how popular this sitcom is...muah haha....

very sian now...i cant watch my scv...cos no tv to watch...looking at my fuzzling computer screen...i'm not far from feeling nauseas....help...i'm so bored....

went for ward round today...i stood there...10 mins into it...i started seeing stars...not a good sign man...so i excused myself to go toilet...pee~ed and went back to stand there and listened to the house men report about the progress of each pt...

15 min into it...i started to break into cold sweat...then saw more stars this time round...i excused myself again and went to sit on the toilet bowl to rest...my boss must be wondering why i kept going to the toilet...but then i didnt tell her cos we are already down to 2 therapist to take charge of the whole 13 wards...plus i've already had 2 days mc this month already...

actually i panicked alittle when i was feeling faint...cos i need to pull thru today no matter wat but i know physically i may not be up to it...

but then come to think of it...the worst case scenario will be that i faint among the medical offiecers, house men, registras and medical students...all 'pretty well trained' health professionals...and hopefully one of the handsome good looking docs will come save me and gimme CPR...ha ha ha

anyway managed to pull thru today...with the help of my beloved therapy assistant...cant thank her enough....

sigh....i'm sick again this week...this is like the second time this month...think my boss aint very happy with me cos i took mc and they have to cover for me...

eversince last attachment, i've been sick on and off...or should i say i fall sick very easily for the past few months...perhaps the lack of exercise...immune system getting a tad too low...

actually i kinda get attune to working life...i love my job...i dun mind interacting with elderly...i dun mind chatting with them either...cos some of them are really lovely and cute to talk to....but once i'm off work...i'm always in shut down mode...i wont wanna talk much to anyone when i reach home...and i snap pretty easily too...seems like my patience is used more on my patients than when i'm home....

went to return dvd to yk on wed...was so drained...and he saw me...he kept asking me wat happened to me...why am i getting skinner and skinner...where is the fat oldt me...i nearly wanted to cry...i miss talking to yk...but that ady i simply have no enegery to stay and catch up with him...i miss our time spent together reasoning about life...i miss that...

i wish i can sleep through the nite without having to wake up in the middle of it knowing that it's actually not time to get up yet...it's been like that for nearly a month...i dunno wat's wrong but it's making me freaking tired...

i juz wish that i can sleep and not wake up...

hey hey...i'm back...i know i MIA for a long time...

first thing first...i know i'm the stubborn cow...i know i reacted pretty hushly...my apologies...afterall i know u care about me...i dunno wat's wrong with me lately...very bitchy and sensitive...

will be out of job soon...actually...i was disappointed at first but lately i'm starting to feel glad...already i'm formulating get away trip at the back of my head...arh...i wanna have fun...like i told fen...perhaps one of the days i'll juz sms my friends to tell them 'hey, i'm flying to (insert asia country's name) now...seeya in few days time!'

it'll be fun le...grab passport and run away on my own...haha...

sigh...gotta prepare for my presentation tomolo...will update about my life again...

he's back!!! finally!!

he hasnt been around much lately...i didnt realise how much i've missed him until i saw him smiling at me when i called him and him, crawling towards me giggling and laughing...trying to follow my socks...

auggy is back...miss him so much...

this little angel is turning 1 yr old by end of the month! so fast! seemed like yesterday that my sis-in-law was crying and screaming in pain...

o yar...that's really fast...one year already...

i realise i'm slowly fading out of the picture...perhaps i didnt put in enough effort to try and mingle within them...perhaps it's my stupidity that's putting them off....perhaps it has come to a point where i'm no longer needed in their lives...

sent a batch of my classmates off at the airport on sat...they should be in sidney right now...unpacking their stuff...trying to grab some rest...

i didnt get to see them off by the departure gate...the goodbyes i said to them were rather light hearted and with laughters...but i'm sure there were bound to be some tears shed at the point where they had to board the flight...

i wonder how the scene will be like next year at this moment when i'm suppose to fly off to la trobe for my studies..will there be tears or will i be missed when i'm gone...

looking at how things are going around me...maybe it wouldnt be that hard to say goodbye to me afterall...

tonite...germany vs argentina...

hmm...why do i care about soccer...i dun actually...but i'm excited...

why?

becos the alcohol that comes along with it will make the whole soccer thingy more interesting...haha...drinking with squashies tonite!!! i cant wait! i miss those crazy drinking days!!! i miss the high feeling that i get...i miss giggling with the girls and stealing smooches from them juz cos i'm drunk...

yeah...i miss drinking...a hell lot...

at the reception table

some pics taken from apple's wedding!

sisters and the bride!

wu ren bang!

i fucking blew my top juz now...

i'm tired...i juz wanna watch tv...okie living room no tv...never mind...went to mama's room to watch...dunno wat happened scv channels cant be recevied despite me tunning it the other day...mom started to raise her voice...claiming i did something to the tv...

i did wat i'm told wat more do u want...the other time i tune it with my eyes half closed even...cos u wanted to the soccer channel to be up for dad to watch...i did that...wat more do u want...

already i'm freaking tired...from talking the whole day and being patient with ppl the whole day...i juz wanna laze and watch tv...why cant i do that...

now i cant even watch dvd cos freaking vcd player cant play dvd...i'm too lazy to move the dvd player to mom's room...cos already there's no space to put another player in her room...

watever...think i'll juz coop up in my room and look at my blur computer screen...everything is breaking down man...bloody hell...

bloody headache didnt qutie leave me since fri....it was so bad on fri that i nearly puked the food i ate during graduation dinner..i ended up having to leave early cos i still gotta work from 8-5pm on sat....

now it's aching lightly as though waiting for the full blown....

what's wrong arh...i have no freaking idea...

life at the moment pretty mundane...nothing much except work...sleep and occasionally meet up with frens for meals when i have the energy...

5 weeks into work...i havent quite able to meet the daily quota...cham...and my stamina getting worst...i havent been jogging for months...the last time i tried...my cough came back....and now by the time i reached home...i juz wanna sleep...

pretty much cooped up in my world...putting most of my time in work...i actually dreamt that my cheeky stroke pt talked to me while i was napping in the afternoon....-_-''

coming sept worst...have to travel all the way to jurong to work...wah liao...who's gonna pay for all those expenses man...i'll juz camp outisde the medical centre lar...

no time fr myself...i need a break...i wanna get out...i cant wait to go aust...meet ang mos and get hitched there...haha...wah cannot take it i go sleep liao...

a patient of mine passed away the other day...she kinda reminded me of my late grandma...

seen her a few times...but she was too weak to carry out any therapy sessions with me...it's sad to see her getting to the end stage...cos i literally saw her turn from bad to worse...the last time i've seen her...she was gasping for air....her edema was so bad that her hands were swollen and what we can do is to bandage her hands to ease the edema and to position her so that she can be more comfortable...

the next morning...other patients of the same ward told me she had passed away quietly in the morning... no one knows...

sigh...life is so fragile...

me and hwee lan

me and charmaine

Graduation!!! me and hua beng...

I wanna scream my lungs out...why am i always a disappointment to ppl around me...and why do i get disappointed so easily...

perhaps i should never expect reciprocity to occur in the first place...but i'm only human...ding ding...time's up...wat's the next step???

yeah...saturday...today dun need to work...nua at home...best....played with auggy...kena scatched all over....

gonna go shopping! yeah yeah!

have been working...so much so that i actually forgotten to reply nyp regarding my graduation attendance...

thing is...only one person can attend my graduation...naturally i ask my mom...

'When is it held?'
' Monday...'
'O monady arh...if baby at home then i can't go...if not who will look after him?'
'Okie lo...never mind...it's juz a graduation...anyway nothing much...quite boring stuff...'

why am i not surprise...anyway it's not a convocation....if it is a convocation, will things be different? perhaps...why should i mind anyway...i guess it juz not a big deal at all...

mom juz threw tantrum to me...or at me...sigh hate it when ppl do that...as though i'm the one at fault...

working...tired...gonna sleep...so rare of me to sleep before 12...haha...

been staying at home for 2 days to nurse myself so that i can be well enough to start work on monday...the idea of me going to work so soon is still alittle daunting...i'll do whatever i can...

my day started with squabblings again...it's sucky...perhaps on my part i had too much assumptions...funny that i hate assumptions made upon me...yet often made the mistakes of creating them upon others...will bear in mind not to do it...at the end of the day our miscommunication is ressolved with both of us apologising to each other and laughing at each other's silliness...sigh...differen age..different thoughts...different way of reacting...yar...lover birds can be quite stupid...i for one is an example...no denial....

anyway...since i've been home these few days...i've been helping out looking after auggy...fun as usual...cos he started blabbering and is noiser than before...it's a joy to play with him...making him shriek with laughters...but at the same time i'm being tortured too...he's been pulling my hair...pinching me, scratching my face, pulling my specs, biting me and leaving me his two tiny teeth marks whenever possible...hmm...so far he's the cutest baby i've seen...really...not saying it cos he's my nephew...but generally he's really cute...and when he kisses u...it's a big wet kiss with teeth marks on ur face...haha...basically he juz open his mouth real big and grab u by the neck and stick himself on ur face...that's his version of kiss...pretty funny to see him do that to my mom...

gtg sleep...cant seem to fall asleep...dunnoe is it the stress or the chicken that i had in the evening...argh...

bloody hell...i'm sick again...and my sup wanted to me to start work tomolo!

i'm suppose to rest at home...but...got woken up by baby boy's cries...this i can take it cos i'm quite use to it...

then my aunt and her fren came to visit us...u know plus my mom..the 3 aunties talked so loudly...i feel like pulling my ears out...

now...my mom switched on her teochew opera to let the aunties watch....i cannot take it anymore...i'm getting out of the house despite me feeling abit feverish...

sometimes i think i'll be better staying outside alone...cos it's no difference now that i'm looking after myself....

been going out with different groups of frens to celebrate my birthday...thank you so much for the presents and also ur tolerance to my profound bad habit of being late...really really sorry...gonna make adjustment to my time management..promise...

i'm blessed with frens who love and dote me alot...and i realise at times i take them for granted far too much...i expect them to take my nonsense and know what i'm thinking...

thing is...how will they know what i'm thinking when i'm the one not telling them anything that is going inside me...there's alot going on...sometimes i juz dun wanna bore them with the stupid stuff that are in my head...at times...i juz dunnoe how to bring across cos dunno where to start...

lately i've been having dreams...weird dreams...so despite me sleeping more than usual...i dun feel rested at all instead i woke up feeling more tired...

jessie said maybe it's due to me going thru a transition phase and that i'm experiencing stress subconsciously...maybe...i dunno...despite me not having to worry about schl work or attachment anymore...i dun really feel stress free....why why why....maybe cos i need to start work next week?!

and i have yet to go into hiding at any place yet...is there still time to go somewhere?

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

yeah yeah!!! 24 yo!!!

Thank you all for the well wishes you've sent me!! i'm so happy to get all your msgs!! =) happy happy

eve of my bday...had dinner with Bb and went for a movie after that...simple way to celebrate but i like it =) yeah...next time i have something to listen to on my way to work...keke...happy happy...

today...
juz went for lunch with my parents...been a while since i last ate with them...and it's been a long time since we've gone out to eat on my bday...hehe happy happy...

going to have dinner with my beloved girls...fen and min...so much to catch up...eh but my stomach like no room for anymore food...been eating alot leh...o no..

anyway...gonna go bathe then head out!

yd's film...
i went to watch the short films that yd and his classmates had created individually for their assignments...it's really interesting to see beginners trying out on short films for the first time... i'm amazed by their work and effort...good start man...

and i have to say this...i am proud of yd...though i know he thinks his film is shitty...still...it's not easy to come out with a short film like this...i like certain parts of ur editing...esp the overlapping of the memories...it's nice...

here is the side where u can view their work...
http://www.ntu.edu.sg/adm/film/

currently...i'm tired...again...although my attachment has ended...
settling some stuff....making some decisions...wondering if i'm up to being a full fledge therapist...cos it is a little overwhelming...i realise there is so much that i dunno still...huh...how?

going back to schl lib tomolo....

what have i been doing since last day of clinical?

fri~
went back to schl...took competency test...it's a 2 freaking hours paper...more brain cells died in attempting to proof that i am competent to be a full fledge therapist...haha

after the test...it's farewell with the lecturers...words that they have spoken will always be remembered...am always grateful to have this bunch of dedicated mentors to guide me through my 3 years course...abit freaky...now that i dun have them to fall back on when i go out to work...

evening time...went to shop around alone at marina square...bought some clothes for myself...then head down to meet bb...went to play pool...had quite a good laugh...cos neither one of us were very good in this...hehe fun fun

sat~ sentosa day!
woke up late and was late for meetup with my clique...gotten someone sooo pissed off...oops...sorry...cough syrup...rem? hehe...babe i really really appreciate what you've done k...

after sun tanning at the beach...we head down to wheellock for dinner...it's this nice jap restaurant...food was great...and the space we've gotten was excellent...haha more like a family dinner...so cosy...i like...

dessert was my bday cake...bought specially from pine garden...wah haha...babe went home from sentosa to get it for me...so touched...woo and the best thing is...it's lychee martini cake..haha...yummy...

will post the pics up once handsome send me the pic...got it yd?? u're suppose to send me the pics...

sun~
went to amk to have breakfast with min and apple...at the same time was given wedding invitation that was written on the spot....

popped over min's house to say hi to her mom and then sat down chatting with her...

evening time...passed the file to audrey and then went off to meet bb for dinner....

that's all for now...i need to type some stuff...update about yd's short file tonite....

another job interview offer...should i take it up...i'm still thinking...seriously not sure if i'm up to it...sigh sigh...think about it over weekend then decide...maybe i should juz go for interview and see how things go...

YESH!!!!!

the time has finally come!!! end of placement!!! wah haha....

but i not happy with my grade...gotten a band C...though it's 70 out of 100...i was hoping for something better...sigh sigh...hopefully my overall grades will be better...

anyway...time to rest...really exhausted....i think my system knows that i am able to rest now...and it starts to break down on me...cough lah...headache lah...gastric...u name it i have it man...

time to sleep....i need to hibernate!

2 more days!!! cant wait cant wait...though i aint looking forward to the competency test on fri either...

treatment session went alright...hai yah but accidentally bummed my kid's head...heart pain...so sorry...he's such a cutie pie....always make me laugh with his cute cute remarks...and the underpants he wore today...haha super cute...think is sponge bob arh...anyway i hope he had enjoyed his session with me...afterall it's an interesting 'insect catching' game...hehe...at least i manage to teach him how to use clothes pegs...wah haha...such a cute boy...

okie...gtg sleep...2 more days....yeah!

wish list cont....

13. birkenstocks slippers..

14. good eye cream that can cure my dark circles...

okie no more...cant think of any liao...screen is making me nausea...better go sleep then do my report and stuff tomolo morning...

quality time spent today...nice to be able to rest....sigh sigh...luxury...

hehe a photo i took with my sis-in-law and baby auggy...he looked abit blur cos he juz woke up...and trying to grab my specs as always....

wish list...
1. wallet
2. handbag - think dodo getting me one
3. a pair of nice fitting jeans - i juz realised...the current one and only jeans i have...is bloody LOOSE...i look horrible in it...didnt realise it was THAT loose until i wore it lately...super baggy...
4. 3/4 pants
5. bikinis
6. before sunset and before sunrise DVD
7. sunglasses
8. LCD screen
9. ipod video
10. jogging stuff- singlets, shorts, sports bra
11. lingerie - ask me for my size...basically i have shrunk everywhere...haha
12. hp...samsung D820

i think i'm more like listing down my own shopping list...since the 800 bucks is in...i might as well splurge on myself...haha...

cant wait to spend my time with yd they all next sat...hehe...they gonna celebrate my bday with me that whole day...so nice...esp ck who initiated to contact the whole bunch of them...haha...happy happy

no plan for my actual bday yet...someone juz told me he'll be going away to KL over the long weekend...guess i'll have to make plans for myself then...no point waiting to be surprised...eeek learnt my lesson already...only close frens will do such thing for me...haha...u know i can never ever forget the time during j2...when the guys tricked me and collabrated with my mama to hide in my house and surprise me...hmm...pretty innovative then except for the part that i saw their shoes before i even enter my house...wat a give away keke...love u guys!

sigh...never mind...shall go out and drink to my heart's content...wat's birthday without drinking eh...hehe...

3 more days...i'll get my rest...complete ones...3 more days...i'll be able to do the things i wannt do...3 more days i can make plans for myself...birthday, career and future...

i wanna get out of singapore...handsome arh...u guys wanna go anywhere or not?

some updates bout my wish list....dodo say she might be getting me wallet or handbag...keke...this cuzzie of mine always dotes me alot...i miss hanging out with her...been busy with our own stuff and agenda...

tomolo got case study to present in schl...havent gone back for weeks le...perhaps i'll drop by the squash courts to take a look...i miss squash...didnt play for like 2 months...die le...standard sure drop to the bottom...

as always...i'm counting down to my days for clinical...4 more days! was in session with my kid today...hai yo tell you...he is so so cute! really really funny boy...so fun to work with...hopefully the session i'm gonna conduct with him will go well next tue...

so happy...ck and all are meeting me next sat for our tanning session!!!! pls pls pls dun rain...let 6th may be a nice sunny sat...throughout the day...woo...sipping beer by the beach~~ i cant wait!!!

woo another birthday wish list...
wanna go mt faber...not to dine or drink but to go there and take a look at night view...cos sua gu me never been there before...or maybe i should go there and jog one of the morning...hmm...

hai yo my baby boy is sick...dunno how come got fever...maybe cos teething...poor thing...

slept at 9 pm...i was practically tired the whole day despite 5 hours of luxurious sleep the previous nite...not enough for my body i guess...

should have juz slept when i reached home without dinner...always feel so fat to eat then sleep after that...

squabbled again...i have never quarrelled with anyone as much as i did with him...wat's wrong arh...in fact i dun even like to quarrel at all...but it seem to be one of the ways we communicate...weird...but at least now i learn to bring across my point of view instead of keep mump about it...is that good or bad...

anyway...birthday wish list...
1. wallet ( nice one pls...and no cutesy pink wallets...i'll faint)
2. nice 3/4 pants ( eh something that i can wear causally and semi-formally)
3. ipod video (juz putting this for fun...cos i realise this gadget makes my journey home with ck even more interesting...)
4. bikinis ( since 22 bday i've been receiving one set every year...dun mind having nicer ones added to my collection)
5. belly button piercing (still pending...cos currently tummy is bloody flabby due to lack of exercise...)
6. before sunrise and before sunset ( VCD or DVD...either one which ever is cheaper)
7. LCD screen ( put this to remind myself to get one cos current screen is blinding me as each day pass)
8. sunglasses (nice one pls...)
9. handbags ( working/ party handbags)
~to be continued~

anyother innovative or interesting items are welcome too...

cant think at the moment but will add on the list if i thought of something...if u really dunno wat to get for me...then never mind...meet up for breakfast, lunch or dinner i'll be happy enough...

two more weeks to go...most hectic week is coming! yeah...bring it on...

still deciding if i should go redang with my classmates...hmm...i'll have till evening to think about...

anyway was working yesterday...then went for lunch with my colleagues....wah they are very scary man...ordered so much food...was so so bloated at the end that i walked from tanglin to somerset to meet handsome and yk...

miss talking to the two of them...and as uaual...bloody yk inflicted pain on me...the way he flicked his finger on my arm was darn painful! can never master that...and yesh our r/s is based on pain...i'm always the one receving it...arh...so not fair...i'll have to find a way to irritate him...

anyway met up with ck too...then sent yd to watch his film fest movie...and off we go shopping...didnt buy anything except for cookies and chocolate...and i bought squash ball...haha...

was soo tired at the end of the day that i juz drop dead and sleep once i reached home...

and today...i juz came back from cousin's baby man yue...goodness...babies everywhere...plus the one we have...o my...quite a handful...and they are outshinning one another in terms of their size and weight...fat babies...but auggy is still the cutest! haha

tired...i go take a nap...then biang my reports...

arh.....i miss drinking...in fact i so wanna drink right now...perhaps the fact that i was so low lately was becos i havent been drinking for a long long time....

i miss that giggly feeling...i miss that state of feeling high...juz minus the puking part...hehe...

wala wala...can i go there for my bday...actually it's up to me to arrange...

i always say i have alot of things to buy but i dun seem to have the time or money to buy them....so i told my friends that i'll put these items under my next birthday wishlist....and everytime nearing my birthday...i realise i cant rem wat i want in the first place...diao~~ hmm...i'm still thinking...let me think then i'll post here can? at least for reference...dun buy also never mind...i put shuang...then next year when i read my blog again i'll know wat i wan initially...haha....good idea eh...

gotta do my report...again...dun feel like sleeping tonight...

~waving white flag~

cannot take it anymore...took MC today....in a daze now...never felt so floaty before...the thought of doing make up makes me even more sian...but what to do..feverish plus my headache been bugging me on and off...hopefully the medication will work...

i was moody...and when i'm moody i whined alot...i'll get upset over things that i aint suppose to get upset about in the first place...and i dun smile much, i juz sulk...sooo unlike the usual silly me...

yar...past entries were quite boring...cos it's all about my complaints...i cant help it...esp when my period is here...

yeah...bb bought me a small bottle of choya...havent tried it...but he said it's very nice...hmm...been getting alcoholic drinks from frens too...ck bought me rice wine when he visited japan...james bought me a small cute bottle of jap wine when he came back for vacation from fukuoka...and now bb bought me the choya drink...this goes to see how much my frens know me...muah haha...but i must make this clear...as much as i love to drink...if u buy me a bottle of wine/beer/watever alcoholic drink on my bday...i'll chop u into pieces...at least gimme something functional and usable can?

anyway...i havent tot of wat i wan for my bday...hehe...but i know i'm gonna make myself happy this year...no more running on the track for 10 rounds on my bday...no more!

sanity checked...

thanx adrian...for being such a sweetie say yes to my request and drove me to jalan kayu to drink teh tarik at nite...hehe...

it's nice to juz go out for a short while...drink tea with fren and chat...no reasons needed to meet up...juz simply becos u wanna hang out and ur fren is willing to do so with you...

it's sweet to have frens that u dun need a reason or excuse to meet up cos it's such a natural thing to do...u know u juz wan to spend time with them...without feeling that it's a chore or an obligation...juz the feeling of contentment...and that u really wanna see them...

let's all go tanning after ur exams...it's been awhile since all of us hang out together...i miss you guys...

i'm alright now...i'll always bounce back no matter how hard it is...it has been this way for years...ultimately i can only rely on myself to get back on my feet...i cant expect others to do a job that is suppose to be mine...juz need to strive and push myself further...

argh...bloody hell...cramps are killing me...such a chore to be woman...why is it that man dun have period...i so wish that they'll get to know what the term 'cramps' means...ugh...

&%^&^**....foul mood...will go jogging later...

cant even complain that i'm tired at home...yar...whatever things i've done were always trivial...attachment i'm on always seemed easy to them...i'm always not as good as what they expected me to be...seriously i dun seemed to be good at anything...

i hate it when ppl doubt me...i hate it when ppl question my intention....even my parents dun seem to be convinced how hard i'm trying...sometimes a pat on the shoulder will be enough...at least i know that they are aware of wat i'm going through...

who am i kidding...

good fri!!! happy...cos it's a holiday and i can spend sometime by myself...though i gotta do work...

did a quality check yesterday...muah haha..okie lah not bad not bad...juz glad to see my gal happily attached...now i dun need to worry about her...keke...

dun feel like doing anything..arh...nua at home...raining somemore...so nice to sleep...

later meeting my nyp mates for dinner...everything is coming to an end...closure is very much needed before we embark upon the next journey... =) isnt it fast...we're gonna be the real therapists soon...3 weeks time...scary eh...

i hope i get the job at AH...no doubt it's only 4 months...i dun mind at least i'll get some experience...hopefully if i perform well enough they'll hire me for long term...at least my sup still rem me...keke...

i feel like going for a drink...hmm...

feeling abit low now...so much things to do...so little time...so little time...so little sleep...everything has to be compromised...

so stressed that i feel conjested in my lungs...

i wanna get out of singapore...after my clinical...cant stand it....i need a break...get me out of here...plssssssss.....

have this strong feeling that i may be falling sick again...think i have been eating too much potato chips =p

mid-way eval went alright today...now more stress to perform well so that i can score even better than mid-way...which means i have to cont' typing more reports each day...

only managed to type one today cos i was too exhausted...reached home at around 9 after having dinner with ray, jessie and wanyee....nice dinner time spent...been awhile since we've met up...always love catching up with them...too bad i cant watch ice age 2 with them...

after the girls sent me home, i fell asleep in front of the tv again...wanted to watch abit of show before starting work...baby boy came home...sis-in-law tossed him to me while i was half awake...and this little fellow was so thrilled to see me that he started attacking my specs and earrings...i wasnt even awake to stop his hands...too much to handle...i tossed him to my dad...haha

went into my room to nap somemore...gotten woken up by mama carrying baby boy into my room 'let's see wat gu gu is doing...' i was napping prone on my bed...half awake...and mama actually placed auggy on my back letting him ride on me and grabbing my hair....wah liao...as if i havent gotten tortured enough by all these little devils in the day time...now she wants to terrorize me with auggy...-_- yar yar...can never be too far away from these little creatures....biang no energy already lah...

slept the longest ever for the whole of this week...

reached home near 8 only to find my self feeling dizzy from all the swinging, bouncing and wrestling with big size kid....

lying on my bedroom floor...i cant move an inch of my muscle...finally managed to get up ate some food and went to nua on the couch to watch tv...

it didnt take long before i dozed off and was sleeping on the couch....by the time i woke up...it was 4 am...no one bothered to wake me up....no one...sigh...

so i woke up at 4...bathed and started reading book, sipping tea...felt so good...read a few chapters...started to feel sleepy again so i finally went back to sleep in my bedroom...with lights off...been quite a while since i slept with lights off...not becos i'm afraid of dark but becos i need it to wake myself up in the middle of the nite to get up and do work....

coming weeks will be worse than this...sigh...typing this down already makes my stress level increase a notch...i wanna get out of singapore after this attachment...to any where....i need a break...desperately...all these madness rushing since exams in mid feb is thinning my blood vessels...i'm juz one step so near of getting a stroke....

i always have this image of my head getting so stress that it ballooned to such a size that eventually it juz burst when i'm still functioning....4 more weeks....i think should keep my head in ice to keep it from expanding...

been eating quite abit and not working out...tummy popping out...damn...

went jogging juz now...8 rounds...real fast...was happy when i ran...i have nearly forgotten how it feels like to have the breeze blowing across my face...was smiling when i jogged cos i miss that adrenaline rush....

now i'm tired...but still gotta do report...

i farted in bb's car yesterday...and nearly kena killed by him...haha...cos it was a real bad one...but i couldnt help burst out laughing...even when i thought about it this morning...yar yar am very gross right...but hey...it's a natural process...juz that digestive system aint working that well lately...too bad loh...too much sitting down during clinical...

gotten a hug from this little girl in the morning...soo soo cute...was surprised that she came to hug me...cos it was only the 3rd day i'm seeing her...she's a real cutie...~melt~ ...reminds me of how auggy would have done when i ask him to sayang me...hehe...so cute.....

gotta do work...yawn yawn

stress again...kena questions from sup...dun quite understand her qn and thus my ans dun seem to ans her qn...how?!

begining to doubt if i am in for peds setting...seems like i'm not as observant as i tot i am...or that i used to be...what happened man...

arh....stress....

super duper stress lately...i dunno why...happened to talk to sze about it and next thing i know... tears started to accumulate...held it back and resume my work cos i knew even if i cry i still have to do work anyway...so no point...might as well get work done than sit there and cry...

it was only till a phone call and some squabbles that i couldnt take it anymore but to breakdown...damn...no one makes me cry before...

hate to cry...it's the last thing that i need to do...

5 more weeks before i can rest completely...5 more weeks.....i'll be able to pull through it no matter wat...

our own version of broke back mountain?


no lah...here's their partners...eh real partners...

my wala girls...keke

the usual 4 beauties...2 of them went penang for attachment...

present to you...mr lim hua beng..i'm really glad to have a mentor like him...really learn alot man...

my dear fyp mates , yingying, huixin, eve, peng(our principal investigator), and dylan!

beloved eve...hehe...always there to hear me whine...thanx o

bonnie...someone who's been with me thru these years!

wah...my former AH sup called...she really keep to her promise le...impressive...hehe...happy happy...but nothing is for sure yet...let's juz wait and see how things go...

fever...still got to do clinica observation and activity analysis...sigh...

i have never been so tired in my life like i was today...keep dozing off here and there...having to constantly move about in order to wake myself up...

going tobe the fourth day into my clinical...it's a whole new different feel in a private setting...the working environment is good...colleagues and supervisor are nice and willing to teach...the only thing that gets to me is that i cant touch the children nor play with them during observation cos it's a privates setting...parents pay huge amount to get treatment for their kids...we have to make sure that the therapy sessions are worth their money...

at the moment...the usual routine for us is to help around packing the rooms up at the end of the day...which is quite fun cos my classmate and i ended up playing with the equipment....cool...

havent been meeting up with fen, min, handsome and ck...i miss you ppl...forgive me if i havent been contacting u much lately....cos really tired...juggling so many things at the same time...now my head feel damn heavy...but gotta get things done...

i have many photos to upload to let u all see but no time at the moment....will load it up during weekend...
i want to hibernate!!! i want to sleep 24 hours!!! argh...i need sleep!!!

If u think i'm dead by now...dream on man...muah hahaha....i'll always survive thru the rough times no matter wat....

YESH!!! FYP is over!!! Presentation finally commenced on sat and ended on a really heartwarming note...everyone was so nicely dressed up for this occasion...

best paper went to nikki, regina, pat and bonnie's group...goodness...so happy for them...the moment i see them so excited and teary when they knew they've won the paper...i feel like crying for them too...haha...congrats girls! job well done!!!

anwyay at the end of the session...everyone was so darn high! we couldnt get enough of snapping photos with one another! really really nice...took alot of photos...even with HB...haha will post it up to let u guys see how my lectuer looks like...

after the conferene...i rushed down to apple's ROM....haha...the moment this silyl girl saw me...she teared...hai yo...have to tell her cannot cry...if not mascara will run...haha...

anyway feel so happy for her...i know she always wanna settle down and have her own family...hehe...maybe next year we'll see little apple or little kieth!!! so exciting!!!

evening time...went out with my squashies...for dinner and drinks...went to rochester park...nice place to go to...too bad the pub there is packed...if not it'll be a nice evening to chill out there..so nice to meet up with my gals...miss hanging out with them...been a month i think...hehe...as usual...i gotten myself tipsy..with juz a little drink...cos too too tired le...

gotta go for my cuzzie's baby man yue now...will blog tonite...

things that have been happening for the past few days....

exams - 'triple jump' was such a killer for me...never have i stepped out of exam hall feeling so so low...i dunno how to crituqe my own stuffs...sigh sigh....was bit teary and weary when the paper ended......pls pls pls let me pass...
anyway i have no time to mourn...cos immediately after exams i need to attune my mood for my FYP...which is equally a killer......

we stayed back in schl for discussion...then went out for dinner and head to yingbuff's house to do up the slides for thursday's first rehearsal for the conference....we practically have to revamp the whole section of our discussion, results and conclusion within one nite...ONE nite...

can u imagine 5 of us...all exhuasted...brain dead...but still gotta stay up thru the nite to think and redo stuffs...we were all so bloody tired that we have to take turns to sleep and keep eating junk food to keep ourselves awake...

the only fun thing about this...is seeing the tired, blur faces and the silly things that we do with the deprivation of sleep....

as for today...we had to go thru the gruesome rehearsal from 9-4pm and stayed back to refine our slides again all the way till 10pm....this time round we gotta thank HB for helping us fine tune it...hehe

i was practically dragging myself out of schl compound by 10pm...let me repeat myself...
I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT SO BLOODY TIRED BEFORE!!!

with juz one hour of sleep on thursday morning to last me thru the whole of thursday noon and nite...of cos huixin is the one who is even more tired than i am...

i need rest...head so heavy now...argh...still got another rehearsal to go later...830-4pm...
then sat is the actual conference...and on sat i gotta go apple's ROM and chin han's bday celebration...sun i have to go cousin baby's mau yue...then monday start clinical attachment...
only four words to say...hao xiang si arh...kill me pls...argh!!!!

met up with HB and my brain cells juz died like 30%...and another 20% died cos abit demoralised...argh...why is he not our sup for the fyp...but then again...he's not into peds anyway...

no fear...our fyp will still be good! it's the process and spirit of my team mates that count...last lap le...die die also have to get thru...

did i tell u...i'm going peds for my last 6 weeks of placement...haha...i can really die happy...cos...wat is the chances of one getting two peds placement in the 3 year course....haha i got it...yeah yeah...so happy....but one thing is...it's private setting..so i may not get to interact with the children much...still it's a good learning opportunity...

abit tired now...shall go rest and then start work again...sigh...last lap to go...somehow part of me is enjoying the process despite the stress and tiredness...i have a very strong feeling that i'll cry on sat...sigh i cant bear to part with my classmates...seriously...and i have never had such strong liking for schling except for this course...i really really enjoy these 3 years time spent with them...the end of sat conference will somehow mark the end point of our schl journey...by the end of our attachment we will probably see each other again but with different status and roles...=) ot0301...i'll always rem this fun and wacky class...

bloody hell...i feel like screaming now...

actually i feel like drinking more than anything...arh...when will all these end....i cant take it anymore....so tired....

u know ur frens love u when...
they share with u the work that they plan to do and u're smiling becos u can actually picture exactly what they are depicting...

u know ur frens love u when...
the language they speak influence u and that one day u just suddenly blurred out that sentence and caught them by surprise...

u know ur frens love u when...
they know how silly u can be at times...esp relationship times...

u know ur frens love u when...
they point out ur shortcomings ever so directly and u know it's true...

u know ur frens love u when...
they say they are concern about u and dun wan u to get hurt...

u know ur frens love u when...
they sms and say that they 'love u...lots', 'we all love you but be careful', 'jiahui jia you'...

i truly appreciate them being by my side and u know wat...i love them more than anything else...really...

i know i should be studying...but am not...cos still feeling very blur...not to mention tired....

can u imagine me...sleeping 3 hours on sat nite...zero sleep on sun nite...doing fyp from 10 am to 5pm on mon....i was practically 'floating' on my way home...tiredness can make one so darn high man...

by the time i reached home...ate a few bites of my dinner... i juz zonked out while watching tv by 8 pm...slept from then till morning 9 am...I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TIRED BEFORE!!!!

woke up today with this slightly refreshed yet still-not-enough-sleep feeling...eh so contradicting...head to town to meet someone for lunch...then head home...felt slightly more in tune after the coffee we had...caffaine always work

gonna start studying...arh...first jump here i come man...

Fun:
- drawing props till we got so high we started blabbering nonsense...
- laughing at one another's drawings, thoughts and bad habits
- getting to the shooting scene aka potential haunted house aka the place that die die must not use the toilet
- shooting all the outdoor scenes with cute handsome actor, sweet pretty actress and a nutty director who spin himself so hard that he wobbled and almost fell after taking the spinning shots
- to have the last scene done and that we know at the end of the day our effort are all worthwhile

Not fun:
-feeding the bloody mosquitoes
- under the bloody hot sun
- sweating like pigs and being ever so so so so so sticky from morning till evening...and we really stink big time
- sleeping less than 4 hours the nite before and not sleeping at all in order to rush out reports

Do i wannt try short film shooting again?

hell, why not? =)

was reading 'mind your body' and suddenly i get all excited...it's the topic on autism...so glad they actually make it a point to do further reports upon the previous article...at least there wont be so much misconceptions and public get to understand autism slightly better...

dun ask me why...but i've always been interested in autism...makes it all the better that my fyp is collating data upon the use of an assessment tool that's related to children with ASD...really interesting! yar lah yar lah...i'm a very peds person...think most of my classmates know...even my model i use SI...i juz cross my fingers that HB buys what i wrote...cos from what i know...he's not a very into this area...

yes i'm all excited...cos it's a start that ppl know about this disorder...which to me is in itself mystersious and require more indepth understanding + research =)

was chatting with a fren and we ended up talking about travelling...beaches...islands...partying in other countries...

man i wanna go travelling too...feel so puny with such a narrow scope of view...

am having headache now...think i sleep too much today...

met up with ck for dinner...felt so good chatting with him...hee...

and i managed to get new glasses again...with ck's help on the choice of frames...i was too fickle minded as to which to choose...so need someone else's suggestions...hehe....cant stand the old one...i'll make sure not to lose it this time round....if not mama gonana kill me...

did i mention...i went arab stree with yd last fri...helped him get his short film materials...so exciting! and boy was i tired...cos we went shopping the whole day to get the stuff....fun fun fun...gotta rush my report...then sun can help him with the shoot! yippee...

~jump jump~ no school! for today and tomorrow! feel so good to not do anything after all the rushing for reports and stuff...sigh sigh...grinning now...haha

caught a movie last nite...stayed out till bout 1 am++....feel good to be able to unwind...glad to have good company too =)

now i'm lazing around...probably need to do my readings soon...if not 'triple jump' exam sure die...shall be a good student and read up on cardiopulmonary and stuff...hopefully can make sense out of them....so how does one's heart work or fail? hmm...

yd...now i understand why u love nina simone's voice so much....She is one darn sexy singer!!!! so hooked to her voice and songs!!! woo~ so sexy...makes me wanna watch 'before sunset' again!!! she makes the songs sound so ~woo~ thanx for lending me the cd!!!

anyway changed my blog skin...it's call the bikini bunnies or something...reminds me of the sun, beach, tanning, beer and of cos my tanning babes and hunks....i miss it soo soo much! arh....but lately too busy to go sun tanning...hmm...wonder if tomolo i can make it or not...but then with who...mm...we'll see...

feel like taking up sign language class...see if i got more time when i'm on clinical or not....

didnt sleep more than 5 hours since thurs...didnt sleep at all the whole of last nite...yes it's the reports season again...i'm so so so so so so dead now....tiredddddddddddddddd...contemplating of skipping ivan's lesson....watch movie in his class...hmm....

this was taken a year ago...so fast...one year went by juz like that...and i look darn ugly in this photo lar!!


min and i...apple not around leh...


my bunch of jokers...always make us laughed till tummy hurts


juz the two of us...bride-to-be went taiwan...


zhong wen xue hui wan sui!